u/jesslp28

I'm going thru a restraining order process and divorce with my SA spouse of 8 years. I have the house, the bills, the children, the responsibilities. He goes to work and stays at a bachelor pad w/ a friend. I worked and made more money for the first almost 6 years in addition to all other obligations. I stopped working 2 years ago and he agreed. I did all the paperwork for his current job to get him in. He's by far the most diabolical monster I've ever encountered in this life.

The restraining order went into effect on Wed night. This morning he got paid into our joint account. He took $200 cash out of an ATM at 7:30am. Tonight he spent $40 out of the account/debit at Quickchek. If you took $200 this morning and have zero personal financial obligations, how did you need $240 by tonight? He's clearly trying to get a rise out of me so I break the restraining order. I won't, but I'm losing it.

Has anyone gotten a PI and if so, what did it entail and did it help in your process? He is manipulating everyone in our lives to believe he is the victim and Im spiraling in the process. I'm such an emotional mess right now while he's fine and cozy somewhere else w/ no problems. I need some wisdom rn.

New here. I've been a member of the loveafterporn sub for many years. My PA/SA has not admitted to anything physical yet, but I know. It's in my dreams and my gut is screaming. There's a million different arrows pointing in that direction. I constantly second guess myself thinking maybe it's just my trauma warped brain talking, but on some level, I know it's not.

When everything first blew up in 2020, it was mostly porn and masturbation. He never stopped. Faked recovery until it was very obvious he was balls deep again - no pun intended. Poor hygiene, overall unstable mood, dead bedroom, etc.

At the moment, he's trying to convince me it's only been ppl watching and fantasizing. Like any other addiction, this progresses, it doesn't go backwards. Im not an idiot. I know I'll be filing for divorce in the future, but I still want to know. Currently seeing a CSAT, but just started and he's half-assing recovery efforts.

Can anyone give me advice and experience right now?