u/jesusfollowernh

Any advice on what shouldn't go with me on a flight? Don't want to get anything taken or in any trouble

My wife is diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I'm trying as hard as I can to be supportive and help. Everything seems to get taken wrong and becomes an argument.

I am in no way looking to leave, I just need advice on what to and how to do things.

If something of any sort upsets her during the day. I'm the one who gets treated differently. I completely get if she needs to vent and talk. And I'm all for that. But she seems to take everything differently once set off. She will talk to me like I mean nothing to her, and say things that show it.

Yesterday she said that if I get upset by something she doesn't care. Either I'm upset for no reason, or I'm upset when she's in a bad mood and if that's the case she doesn't care anyway.

Usually if I ever offer to help her with anything, she makes a point to tell.me.how much she doesn't need me and gets pretty mean about it.

She will tell me she wants me to do something like remind her to take her meds if the schedule has changed. Then get mad at me for reminding her.

Usually I don't say anything unless she's being abusive. And if I do say I don't appreciate how she's talking to me, it's hurtful. I'm told I'm being dramatic.

This morning I knew she was in a bad mood because of other things that happened at home. So I offered to make he coffee like I have many times. But today she got pissed and said I don't know how she likes it. I do, she has a very specific way with healing scoops etc. So I asked if she still liked it that way and she seemed surprised that I did know. Then I asked how many pipps of her flavoring and what ones she wanted. And she snapped. "Never mind I'll take care of it,I don't need you"

That happens often and she changes her mind a few seconds later so I didn't read into it too much. But right after she said I don't want to be around you I'm taking a Uber to work.

We're hurting severely for money so I knew she wouldn't, but it just makes me feel like she doesn't want me around.

When we got in the car, I knew it wasn't a good day, so I made sure to have no tone or emotion beyond anything positive. She yelled at me saying I was talking down to her.

I was completely taken off guard by that and asked what she meant. She said I was talking to her like she was a child etc. So I said I was sorry if it came across that way, I didn't and never would mean to talk down to her. I'd never do anything to intentionally upset her because seeing her upset hurts me.

I'm just lost. How can I talk to her when what she's saying is making me feel like she basically hates me, and she wants nothing to do with me.

There is a lot more that happens, but I'm just too drained to get it all out right now.

I love her and want to help however I can. But I also don't want to let it seem like screaming at me and telling me to fuck off is ok or something I'm ok with.

Edit: she just made a med change to effexor, and is also on a mood stabilizer that was increased a couple months ago. She just started seeing a therapist.