u/jethskyyy_

Around 3 months ago I met someone on Grindr and I gave him oral sex. He ejaculated in my mouth and I had a canker sore. I didn’t know his HIV status and that was enough to make me spiral. I actually got tested 25 days after the exposure and it came back negative but it still didn’t give me peace of mind because I knew I still had to wait for the recommended testing window. After that my anxiety got even worse.

For almost 3 months I convinced myself I had HIV. I was only sleeping 1 to 2 hours every night. I had no appetite. I felt feverish because of how anxious I was. Every muscle ache every sore throat every lymph node every little symptom I searched on Google and Reddit and somehow I always connected it back to HIV. I honestly couldn’t take it anymore so I finally got tested again today and thankfully it came back negative.

I also talked to an HIV counselor during those months and they told me they had never personally encountered a documented case of someone getting HIV solely from giving oral sex. It helped me understand why oral sex is considered low risk even though it’s not zero risk.

Also, even though oral sex is considered low risk for HIV, it’s still not zero risk. Please don’t let that make you careless. Always try to practice safer sex, ask about your partner’s HIV status if you’re comfortable doing so, and consider using protection or PrEP if it’s appropriate for you. We only have one life, and taking a few moments to protect yourself is always worth it. Don’t be embarrassed to ask questions or prioritize your health.

If you’re going through the same thing please stop trying to diagnose yourself through Google because it will only make your anxiety worse. Get tested when you’re within the recommended testing window because no amount of Googling will ever replace an actual test.

I hope this helps someone because I know exactly how terrifying HIV anxiety can be. Stay safe everyone. :))))

So I had unprotected sex on March 28, and I was the insertive partner. That was my first time ever having penetrative sex. At that time, I didn’t know much about PrEP because all I had done before was oral sex. A few weeks later, I started feeling feverish with what I thought was a low-grade fever. I got tested on April 22, and the result was negative. After that, the clinic gave me PrEP.

The guy I had sex with was the receptive partner. He told me it was safe, reassured me that he was on PrEP, and even told me to go get tested for my peace of mind. But my mind keeps saying, “What if?”

Now it’s been 3 months, and my anxiety has become really bad. I’m scared that when I go back for my follow-up test, the result might be reactive. For the past 3 months, every muscle ache, joint pain, or new symptom makes me panic. I never had a high fever or a rash just feverish feelings, phlegm, sinus-related symptoms, and an itchy throat. I honestly don’t know what to think anymore. I’m just really scared and wanted to share this because my anxiety has been overwhelming.