Feeling Unsupported During a New Season of Life
So my husband (navy) and I are working through our first PCS move while I’m in my third trimester of pregnancy (yay!). He was in the reserves for the last four years and in professional school (HPSP program) and during that time obviously I was the breadwinner. I had a well paying government job during the time that I will obviously now have to leave when we move and am unsure about what to do moving forward. Job hunting at the tail end of pregnancy seems like a crap shoot but everyone I’ve talked with seems to think I’m being too negative? I feel like no one really understands the complexity’s of moving and how it can impact the spouses career especially with this unique blend of military/medicine/family planning. To make matters worse this is only a one year assignment so it’s not like I have the advantage of waiting until after I give birth. I’m not opposed to being a stay at home parent temporarily but I feel like everytime I bring it up people react with indifference or judgement.
Additionally since I currently have a job I’m trying to work as long as possible before I have to move (literally waiting until that 34 week travel ban mark hits) and I’m the only spouse left behind. All his other command mates had their spouses come with and it feels like I’m weirdly getting judged for not immediately picking up and moving with him? Yet when I talk about being unemployed/moving without a job lined up I weirdly feel judged for that too. It basically feels like I can’t win.
Like I said I’m not opposed to finding a job or being a stay at home parent but I also think I need to be realistic about timelines and what’s an option for me. And I feel like I’m met with indifference from others. Like raising a baby isn’t work? Like I should just settle for the first job I find? Like I’m a bad and unsupportive partner for choosing to stay behind and work at my current job? I don’t feel like I’m doing anything right. Now don’t get me wrong my husband is great and supporting whatever I want to do but I guess I’m weirdly sensitive to the fact that our community around us is not being supportive the same way? Like why can’t anyone just be like “that’s such a good plan” or “yeah I understand the job markets hard, go at your own pace”. Rather I’m only given advice rather then assurance and it’s driving me nuts. Anyway I just needed to rant about this.
Also I stg if one more person suggests I “just get a remote job” I’m going to lose it. Maybe it’s the hormones but the rage and frustration is freaking real right now.