Demonic presense in my room watching over me after defeating insane urges at 2am.
Just wanted to share something that happend the other night while on a 20 something day streak , (still currently on)
A little back story:
I'm a 26 year old male and have been on and off retention since I was 19.
When I was a kid I remember getting sleep paralysis all the time and not being able to put into words what was happening while I was asleep because I was so young. Eventually that stopped happening once I found out about porn etc.
I had recently made some ground breaking revelations about what was triggering me to relapse with the help of a therapist and what alot of it came down to was people pleasing, not being able to say no to go out with friends and do certain behaviours. (!lcahol and staying out late mainly)
Anyways, the other night I fell alseep and things seemed normal when I woke up with INTENSE urges.
My brain was bring up old crushes and trying to sexualize memories of them in order to get me to relapse. I was able to calm myself down and bring my thoughts back to earth and fall back asleep.
Then, as quick as I went back to sleep I woke up to a cold breeze on my face. I don't have any fans or air conditioners or anything like that in my room.... and it felt like a fucking tornado had spawned in my room.
I was completely paralized and felt some crazy fucking voice whispering something really terrifying but I wasn't speaking a language I could understand.
I was fully concious and the breeze, my hair getting blown back and everything was so tactile. This must of went on for about 10 seconds untill I physically launched myself out of this frozen state and turned my light on, I had teary eyes upon waking and was scared shitless.
It felt like a direct response to the way I've been making so much progress against not giving into lust, and the fact that sort of thing has happend in my past retention journey really makes me feel like demons are real, or something to that effect.
I've also noticed as the streak progresses the dreams usually become blissfull but every now and again I have an absolutely revolting, disgusting, or downright violent dream of people getting killed in really horrific ways.... out of nowhere. Then things go back to normal? Is this some sort of purging of the soul of negatice energy? Anyone else had a similer experience?.