Login

u/jsingh0928

r/TwoHotTakes r/SanFranciscoWeddings
▲ 7 r/SanFranciscoWeddings

Dry Cleaning for Bridal Lehenga?

I'm looking for recommendations for a cleaner that has experience with heavily embellished Indian bridal wear. My biggest concern is that my lehenga has a mix of sewn-on and glued-on stones/jewels, and I'm terrified that the dry cleaning process will cause all of the glued embellishments to fall off.

If you've had your bridal lehenga cleaned, where did you go? Did everything hold up well afterward? I'd especially love recommendations for places that took extra care with delicate beadwork and embellishments.

Thanks so much! I'm probably overthinking it, but this dress means a lot to me and I want to make sure it's in good hands. ❤️

reddit.com
u/jsingh0928 — 4 days ago
▲ 20 r/TwoHotTakes

My husband (M35) has a side gig playing for a local Bee Gees cover band. The owner (M30s) of the Bee Gees cover band knows my husband is married to an Indian woman (me, F35) and attended our Indian wedding.

At an Indian event that paid them to perform and fed them for free, the owner said to my husband, “Indian food looks the same going in as it does going out,” as a joke. I found out about this “joke” months later and was appalled that this friend could say such a thing.

My husband recently let the owner know that he wanted to take a step back from the band. The owner hounded him to know why, and my husband told him it was because of the above remark. He also let him know that both he and I were upset about it. The owner asked to call me to apologize, but my husband was busy and didn't immediately share my number. So far, kudos to the owner for wanting to apologize.

A day later, the owner messaged me on Instagram with an apology. It was an okay apology, but it still didn’t sit right with me. So I responded, letting him know that while I appreciated the apology, the issue was not just the comment itself, which was terrible, but also how comfortable he felt saying that to my husband, who has an Indian wife, at an Indian event that paid him. I also gave him some context around anti-Indian sentiment in the US and said that my husband and I needed time to think.

This is where things go off the rails. The owner responded to my message the next day and blew up at me, saying that what I said to him was “1000% worse” than what he said about Indian food, and that there was nowhere to go from here. He was saying things like it was just comedy. And by the way, the owner is not a comedian nor has ever done anything related to comedy. I think he was upset because that morning my husband had texted him saying he would not be doing the next show with him, and I think that set him off.

At the same time the owner was messaging me on Instagram, he was texting my husband weird, angry messages trying to turn my husband against me and making it seem like their friendship was more important than my husband’s relationship with me. He overstated his relationship with my husband saying that he thinks of my husband as a brother and they are "soft boys" together. My husband thinks of the owner as just a casual friend and nowhere as deep as the owner feels about my husband.

Then after each of us not responding, the owner changed direction and started apologizing again, both to me on Instagram and to my husband over text. The emotional outburst felt deranged to my husband and me, so we blocked him and cut him off.

Are we overreacting by blocking him and cutting the owner off? We originally wanted space to think and potentially leave things open for reconciliation in the future, but the owner’s response felt very unhinged and incoherent. And now we feel uncomfortable ever associating with him again.

Also, here is a link to all the messages. The first half is the conversation he had with me on Instagram, and the second half is the texts he sent my husband at the same time he was messaging me.

u/jsingh0928 — 2 months ago