Sex needs not being met
I (F30) and my husband (M32) has been together 7 years. Our sex was really good for a long time. Somewhere around 3 years ago he started wanting sex less and less. I remember being shut down more and more often starting sometime in 2024. Then around August 2024, I told him that I needed to talk and basically told him that I felt we were not being intimate enough and the romance was dead. I asked him if everything was okay? I even asked if he has kinks or fantasies he wasn’t telling me and to be open. He said no and he just genuinely lost his libido. I was crying during this talk so he knows how much it meant to me. A few days later we had sex and it definitely felt a little forced but I tried making the best of it. Fast forward a few months it’s now December 2024 and we haven’t had sex since that time in August. There was plenty of times I tried to. I remember one night in particular I took a bath and got all shaved and clean and put on new lingerie. I walked up to him and said hiii and just looked me and said “I love you but not right now” (he was gaming with the boys) so I just kinda walked away and cried. Anyways, we had a party with some friends and I got a little tipsy . One of his friends started venting about how hard it’s been since they just had a baby a few months ago and hardly had sex once or twice in the last couple months and I just lost it. I ran out of the bar just freaking ugly crying. I sat on a bench somewhere and just cried for maybe 30 minutes. He finally found me and I told him I couldn’t do it and I wanted to split up. He used the whole you’ve been drinking thing, please come home and we will talk in the morning. The next day I told him “he was turning me into someone I didn’t even know because I was started to think that DESERVED to be cheated on” and I’ve never cheated on anyone in my life. I’ve been cheated on and know how it feels. I told him everything I was thinking and feeling and he really heard me and said he promised he would go to a doctor and get his hormones checked out . Sex did get more frequent. We had sex maybe once a month for about a year. I was still not satisfied with this but it was acceptable for me. From around March 2026-may 2026 we didn’t have sex at all again and one night I just couldn’t do it anymore and left and cried at a dead end. I finally came home and told him this just isn’t working, I love him but eventually I’m going to cheat on him. I even asked him if it was okay if I fucked other people. He did not like that lol. We’ve been back on a once a month trend but he still rejects me often. I’m definitely starting to resent him. It’s getting to the point where I don’t want to sleep with him now either. Also, the last time we had sex it was like 5 minutes and I was just left aching. I’m getting so sick of porn and the shower head. I want to be desired, I want to be used. He never asked me if I had kinks or fantasies. I’m just so frustrated with him sexually.
For context, this man is amazing in every other aspect of my life. He is my best friend otherwise.
Has anyone ever experienced this??? Have I just been to patient and stayed around to long ? I didn’t want to give up on us so easily but after 2 years of this cycle it feels like this is just who he is I guess.