I need to talk
I found my 30 year old son dead Wednesday. He had struggled for years with mental illness and addiction. We supported him in either an apartment and food. He had no transportation. Car was stolen when he was looking for drugs. Lost his job and had been arrested twice. Last time a fellow addict bailed him out and gave him a burner phone and he was thinking his demons within days. Didn't hear anything for a couple of days after he had agreed to a sober living treatment but the next day he was defiant announcing he wasn't going and then nothing. I drove over Wednesday morning with a key to his apartment and in the pit of my stomach I knew when I opened the scoot my life was going to be forever scarred. He was cold and already rigor mortised. It was beyond anything I would wish on anyone. I just saw the kid who loved baseball and working out and just a quiet simple life now stolen by pure evil. I don't know what I'm doing here other than sharing my heart. Did we do too much? Was he enabled? Did we do all we could? Probably a yes to all three but I don't really care it's not bringing him back. My heart is torn in two and all I can do is hold my wife and his siblings close and be the father I couldn't for him. Thank you to anyone listening.