Today at 9am, my daughter will have her funeral. It’s been a little over 2 weeks since she passed and I have been through every emotion possible. Today, I feel like I’m back at square one. Every little reminder of her is so painful I don’t think I can survive it. I don’t see how to get through this. At times I just can’t to scream, other times I almost collapse from the grief. How do I survive this for the sake of my other children.
My EXTREMELY wealthy husband owns the cemetery plot where our 23 yr old daughter is now buried. He refuses to sign the waiver for my Austin kids and I to place a headstone and also refuses to put a headstone there himself.it seems like it’s his one last stitch effort to cause us immense pain and exacerbate our grief any further and I am complete and total loss of what else to do to get my child’s grave honored. Short of hiring an attorney and having her exhumed and cremated which I probably cannot afford I do not know what to do…any suggestions would be greatly appreciated for those who have been thru something similar . TYIA!!!!!!
Does any other mom/dads find the simple question “how many kids do you have?” to be one of the most crippling questions ?
As soon as I am asked this question I become nauseous, I feel like I can’t breathe, I can’t move, and my freeze, fight, or flight responses kick in.
It’s been 5 years since we lost our daughter, and I still give a different answer each time. The truth is, I still don’t know which one hurts the least.
Do I say 4, and nothing else? Do I say 4, but only 3 here with me? Do I say 3, and die a little more inside while the guilt takes over that for a moment I acted like she’s not a huge part of our family? If I give a simple answer of ‘4’ there’s usually always a follow up question of how old are they? Then I have to decide, do I answer with how old she SHOULD be or how old she was?
Sometimes, explaining is too painful, it’s too exhausting. Sometimes, the fact I got out of bed that day was truly more than I felt I could do.
I guess I’m just wondering does anyone else struggle with things that seem so innocent and small to someone but to you it’s paralyzing? It feels like it knocks every bit of air out of my lungs.
🩷🩵🪽Tinsley Rae forever 2 months & 16 days old 🪽🩷🩵
To working parents in the US: when after the passing of your child did you go back to work? I lost the love of my life on 09/24 and I can’t be on PTO forever. Next week I’ll have to talk to HR to figure out next steps. I work fully remote but in a demanding, client facing role. Any advice/stories welcome.
This is how my baby died. The previous day the nanny told me the baby stained her romper with poop and that I should bring extra clothes next day in case it happens again. I found it strange because she never poops to that extent. The following day, which she was home with the dad. He told me her poop was watery but he'll observe her and take her to the doctor should it gets worse. When I arrived home from work, my baby's father handed her to me saying that she suddenly got worse. She was not her usual self , pale and milk coming out her mouth non stop. The dad was trying to contact the doctor while I had my baby. I cried like never before.
The doctors report says she died at home from respiratory failure as a result of gastro. How come he only called the medical rescue team only when I arrived? He loved my baby so much but I think there's something he isn't telling me
I felt the shift. The cool air..we're here again. My body feels on hight alert. Its too loud in my head, I'm losing track again, I know its not forever, I think I can pivot through some things that are coming up, but the tides have receded and the inevitable tsunami is approaching.
Im not where I was last year, but I am. The aching, burning, freezing, tension, pining for my baby and all the other mental gymnastics are hard at work right now. I can't stop from falling apart, my 5yo is seeing it all and consoles me with his brothers cookie & elmo plushies.
I'm not where I was, but the tools aren't working. I just want to be where my little boy is. Better luck accomplishing that the day my eyes dont open. The time between now and then seems so long, I don't want to wish my time away from my big boy, are we to just accept this perpetual cycle?
My husband cant hold this with me, I feel utterly alone. I hit my 1 year therapy anniversary, I've certainly practiced the things to help my brain come back "online", but the tools aren't working right now. There's no compartmentalizing this. What are the parents several seasons out doing to keep yourselves glued together?
I've been doing some form of yoga/meditation/sound bath for 6mo to help my nervous system, I know these things help, but I think they're just moments of passing through, forcing myself to lie here in the grief and feel it rather than suppress it. Ive had a few wild experiences since starting this practice to know that my efforts of staying connected to my child aren't futile, I know he's waiting for me, I just need him to know I'm coming for him too.
Losing our baby unfairly has made this a very difficult week for my husband and me. It's not fair to lose her and not be able to do anything. It wasn't fair to see her bedridden in intensive care after birth, it wasn't fair to know and see the terrible state she ended up in because of him, it wasn't fair that she had to suffer so much. My husband and I try not to focus on the bad things, although they're still there and resurface sometimes. We are proud that she let us get to know her and be with her, not in the best way, but that she fought for almost a whole month and tried with all her might to get better, and she let us be with her until the very last moment. But I feel like I'm falling apart sometimes. I have so many worries and thoughts about our lives because it's not easy to take on so much emotionally and financially. I'm frustrated and desperate because, due to the difficulties, we haven't had money for a lawyer, and I've tried to sell my valuables, but it's not working out. I know she won't bring her back, but I'll make sure this shit doesn't happen to anyone else. Just like it happened to us, a family that eagerly awaited her healthy arrival, just as we saw her throughout our pregnancy. It's unfair that our baby had to pay with her life for the malpractice of these horrible people.
I hope I can find the strength, from wherever I can, to keep going, and that we can afford a lawyer who will do what's fair for her.
Parker James was born on 14 August 2026 and passed on a few hours later. I've got a lifetime's worth of love for him, and this is one of the places it goes.
After noticing little information and no website for bereaved fathers day and bereaved dads, I focused some of my energy into a website for bereaved Father’s Day, but it’s not just that.
It’s a place for Dads, friends, family, and workplaces.
A place for support, guidance, help with communication and a place to write letters to our children that have died.
So I’m pleased to announce:
bereavedfathersday.com is live.
Bereaved Fathers Day is the last Sunday in August, the Sunday before Father's Day. It's for every Dad whose little one has passed on, and for the people who love him.
On the site: support written just for Dads, help for family and friends who don't know what to say, a guide for workplaces, and the numbers to call, any hour.
If you know a Dad who might need it, send it to him.
Your support in helping to share and spread this would mean the world to me, by next year i would love for this to be commonly recognised and celebrated for parents across the globe.
The site doesn’t raise money, has no ads or trackers and is purely built out of love by me and for the support of other dads.