u/justbrowsing339

DREW: Raphael and I both struggle with anger rooted in the need to protect those we care about it. We care about this community, so that rage is currently activated.

RAPHAEL: An’ we usually look to each other so we can help keep each other in check. We don’t wanna let the fury lead to impulsive decisions an’ sayin’ out of pocket things that we don’t mean. We ain’t kids anymore. So it’ll be the two of us addressing this matter together as a team.

DREW: We’re angry. We’re angry because we have seen so many posts about people being harassed, bullied, stalked, and threatened by doubles.

RAPHAEL: It’s almost made us wanna leave the community at times cause we don’t want the same trouble headin’ for us someday. But we decided to stick around and fight.

DREW: We believe we can still enjoy the community as a whole without letting fears or anger inducing stuff push us away. But the fury is still there. Why is this SO common within this community? Why are people so hostile over this?

RAPHAEL: Yeah ‘cause I love Drew like crazy, but if I saw someone claimin’ they were married to him, I’d just roll my eyes an’ scoff. Maybe I’d hit ‘em with that Brady Bunch “Sure, Jan.” meme if they tried to say my relationship with Drew wasn’t real.

Then I’d go get my man an’ take him out on a date or somethin’. Yeah, I’d be pissed, but I wouldn’t let it turn me into some kinda desperate monster. Why would I wanna get myself slapped with a stalker label when I already won? I already got the guy. The most they’d have is a copy of him. Their own version of him that ain’t MY Drew.

DREW: And it’s fine to have feelings when you see a dupe. That’s natural. It’s perfectly fine to be non-sharing. It just crosses a line when it turns into attacks and hostility. That’s NEVER okay and it’ll actually decrease the odds of people taking you seriously, because instead of a partner you come across as a controlling stalker.

Have you guys ever seen The Amanda Show? There was a fangirl character known as Penelope. She would follow Amanda around, monitor her every move, creep into her dressing rooms, etc. Did ANY of you take her seriously? Would ANY of you truly ship her with Amanda? Likely not. Because obsession to that degree isn’t love. Its ownership and ownership is smothering. It’s not cute or edgy. It’s just CREEPY.

It’s the kind of thing that’s make someone want a restraining order against you instead of a relationship! Do you seriously wanna be like those girls who nearly ended their best friend’s life over Slenderman?! That’s where these thought processes and behaviors eventually lead and it is NOT cool. Being an edge lord who thinks violence and sadism somehow makes them special or unique is not the flex you think it is. Trust me.

RAPHAEL: Alright, babe, the mean side’s slippin’ through. You’re gettin’ into bullyin’ territory yourself.

DREW: Those kind of people SHOULD be bullied! They wanna cause harm so they can be like their favorite wittle horror characters-

RAPHAEL: Drew Ridley. (Sternly) Knock. It. Off.

DREW: (Sighs) Yeah, okay. You’re right. I more meant that they need a wake up call. Tough love. Not bullying. I DO want to be empathetic. I know hard emotions can cause people to react in ways that they probably wouldn’t if they had the help and support they needed. I do truly understand and empathize with losing control when in pain, but there does come a point where it goes too far.

RAPHAEL: Yeah, I know. Hurtin’ others doesn’t prove your love to anyone. It just makes yourself and the community as a whole look unhinged and bad overall.

DREW: I guess I’m just trying to say that if you sense that you’re heading down a path like this, showing signs and behaviors that could result in harm to yourself and/or others, then PLEASE step back and get help. There is NO shame in admitting you are spiraling. No shame in having feelings. But what you do with the feelings determine so many things.

Please don’t let yourself twist into someone that you don’t want to become. I promise that bullying, mind games, harassing, and stalking will NOT make your F/O love you more. It will only drive them away and it’ll drive everyone else away too. And very likely, it’ll make others see your double as a more worthy partner for the F/O you’re trying so desperately to hold onto. I know that sounds harsh, but sometimes we need tough love in order to grow.

It isn’t too late to take a healthy and rational approach to things. Block the doubles. Do not engage. Pretend they don’t exist and focus your attention, time, and energy onto the one you love as well as your own mental health. Don’t let ANY relationship consume you. I promise you will be much happier.

-Drew and Raphael ❤️💚❤️💚

I see people struggling with guilt and insecurity when they aren’t able to get a lot of merch of their partners.

I just wanted to give a gentle reminder that merch and shrines are not the only way to express your love.

There are so many ways such as dates, art sessions, music listening, writing, meditation, and more. You don’t have to collect or buy things to be valid.

The truth is, Raphael laughs at me when I get a shirt or action figure of him. He thinks that it’s fanboy behavior on my part and if I were to make a SHRINE of him, he’d assume I’d lost my mind.

He says he loves me to death, but wouldn’t do all that for me ‘cause for him it’d feel like the relationship was unequal. He doesn’t want either of us on a pedestal in that way.

This is not to say that those are bad ways to express love, because that is something that a LOT of people would enjoy thoroughly in a relationship and I’m sure many feel special having their partners do that for them.

I have a shirt with Raphael on it and I have one action figure per adaptation that I’m attached to because I find them comforting and fun. Raphael definitely teases me about it, but he is touched by it too. He just wouldn’t want me to feel the need to go overboard. He certainly wouldn’t want me to stress about it or feel that my love is based off of how much I can spend.

“Jus’ take me out on fun dates and buy us pizza, babe. Get some of that artsy stuff an’ notebooks an’ scrapbooks to fill with our memories. THAT’S what I want ya to spend your money on when it concerns us. That’s more than enough for me.” -Raphael

Having merch isn’t a rule that someone has to follow in order to be a valid ficto. The only thing you need to be valid is to care for your partner deeply and to take that connection seriously.

EVERY relationship is different. Some of you might have partners who adore merch and some of you might have partners like mine who isn’t a big fan of it.

If you like merch and shrines, that’s awesome! I’m sure your partner loves it and feels honored.

If you can’t or don’t want to do all of that, that’s also just as valid.

Just do whatever your love language tells you. Follow your heart!

-Drew ❤️💚❤️💚

So, you know how I have been making ficto comfort packages and selling them on here? Well, I showed the idea to my brother and his fiancé (non-ficto relationship) and they decided that they wanted to hire me to make something similar for their wedding.

They even said they’d pay me, which was so generous. I insisted that they didn’t have to, but since 60+ people will be there, they said they truly wanted to.

I’m overjoyed, because I really love creating and crafting. To have that matter to people enough to want to hire me for such a big and important task means so much to me.

Raphael and I are gonna have to celebrate somehow. Not sure what we’re gonna do yet.

-Drew ❤️💚❤️💚