The Purple Wave

Purple Reign sweeps all three seats, the silent candidates win big, and the cabal's alleged puppetmaster is out

The votes are counted and Belgium has a new Congress. Of the 24 candidates, 18 took a seat. Turnout fell from about 146 votes last month to 124 this time, which means a seat could be won with as few as four votes.

The new Congress · 18 seats

#	Candidate	Party	Votes
1	Birow	MRW	13 (10.48%)
2	Slosse_de_Kerel	Purple Reign	9 (7.26%)
3	Silvergerma	Achteruit	8 (6.45%)
4	WaldetrudusOfHertals	MBKA	8 (6.45%)
5	The_Historian	Purple Reign	7 (5.65%)
6	Vinni_Van_Karmeliet	Purple Reign	7 (5.65%)
7	MrJack	MBKA	6 (4.84%)
8	AkimboPanda	PISS	6 (4.84%)
9	Pommelsmurf_Thijs	DCP	6 (4.84%)
10	De_Nederbelg	DCP	6 (4.84%)
11	Karbonkel	Achteruit	6 (4.84%)
12	Rex_Ferrum	MRW	6 (4.84%)
13	Balthazar_Boma	PISS	5 (4.03%)
14	Chaplain_Carakas	MBKA	5 (4.03%)
15	Sod75	PISS	4 (3.23%)
16	Cool_Breeze	Achteruit	4 (3.23%)
17	VOSS	PISS	4 (3.23%)
18	greveleer	MBKA	4 (3.23%)
–	Gilhil	MBKA	3 (2.42%)
–	LodewijkJ-Bakker	MRW	2 (1.61%)
–	Riverblade	BAP	2 (1.61%)
–	PiratePiss	PISS	1 (0.81%)
–	Vici	PISS	1 (0.81%)
–	ExuTrioz	MRW	1 (0.81%)

Struck through: not elected.

Purple Reign: from reluctant to triumphant

Two days ago, Slosse_de_Kerel told the Gazette he was running partly because nobody else in Purple Reign wanted to. Today he finishes second in the country with 9 votes. The_Historian and Vinni_Van_Karmeliet both followed with 7. Three candidates, three seats: Purple Reign is the only party with a perfect record. Solis will not be short of moral support, or beer.

Birow tops the poll without a word

The biggest winner of the night published nothing at all. Birow, whose posts the Gazette described as being only about getting elected, got elected with 13 votes, the highest score in the country and three more than last month. Apparently in Belgium the best campaign post is the one you don't write.

And the night got better still. During the elections, Birow replaced Babu as Minister of Defence. Babu had said at the start of the term that he would only serve temporarily, until someone willing or better showed up. Birow, who last month listed "higher ministry roles" among his ambitions, has now ticked that box and topped the poll in the same week. Next on his list, by his own account: the presidency.

The silent majority

Your editor must now eat his words. In the evening edition, the Gazette wrote that a campaign that did not work last month was unlikely to work better by not happening at all. AkimboPanda went from 1 vote to 6. Cool_Breeze went from 2 to 4. Both are now in Congress.

Of the eleven candidates who stayed silent this month, nine were elected. Of the thirteen who campaigned, nine were elected too. The lesson for future candidates is uncomfortable for a newspaper: words did not decide this election. Perhaps it was reputation, perhaps loyalty, perhaps the Smurfette. The Gazette will keep writing anyway.

Seats by party

Party	Seats	Change
MBKA	4	+1
PISS	4	±0
Purple Reign	3	+1
Achteruit	3	+1
DCP	2	±0
MRW	2	−2
BAP	0	±0
Independents	0	−2

MBKA: one vote short of a full house

MBKA went into the election with a plan to get all five of its candidates elected. Purple Reign pulled off exactly that trick with its three. MBKA did not. Somewhere in the communication, something went wrong. WaldetrudusOfHertals collected 8 votes and MrJack 6, comfortably more than the 4 needed for a seat. Gilhil finished on 3: one vote short. A single vote moved from either surplus would have given MBKA five seats instead of four. MBKA is also the party of Babu, the alleged kingmaker, and plenty of Belgians already suspect it of trying to rig the system. If so, this election suggests the riggers could use some help with arithmetic: a cabal that cannot move one vote from one candidate to another is not much of a cabal. Then again, if Gilhil really is the one pulling the strings, perhaps losing was part of the plan all along. After all, Belgian history offers a clear precedent. Last month Nicol failed to get into Congress with two votes, and a month later became President. Gilhil has now failed with three. If Belgian politics follows its own pattern, the Gazette expects to find his name on next month's presidential ballot. Perhaps someone will even sign him up.

Faster, not slower

The debate about debating has a first verdict. WaldetrudusOfHertals, who campaigned for swift and decisive voting, came joint third with 8 votes and became MBKA's top scorer in his very first election. The two candidates who asked for more discussion, Pommelsmurf_Thijs and your editor, managed 6 and 5. The Gazette notes that Congress will now contain both camps, which guarantees at least one good discussion: about how long discussions should take.

Beer: two out of three

Three candidates promised beer. Vinni and Slosse are in. Gilhil, who promised every soldier a free Trappist ration, is out with 3 votes, on the very day he was revealed as the man behind Nicol's return. More on that on page 2.

The fallen

LodewijkJ-Bakker, the governor of nothing, finishes with 2 votes. He no longer holds a mandate from the government, and now the people have declined to give him one too. With the media blackout lifted, the Gazette is closing its file on the Fr*nch funds. Whether voters were swayed by the scandal, by the Premier's finger-pointing, or by the quiet hand of a certain cabal, we will never know for sure. The Fr*nch territories, and Wallonia with them, meanwhile remain exactly where he left them: in Fr*nch hands. Riverblade's four languages earned him 2 votes; resubmitting might have cost him his place on the ballot, but not resubmitting cost him the seat. PiratePiss and Vici, both in Congress last month, drop to a single vote each. ExuTrioz, missing out for the second month running, also gets one, and MRW drops from four seats to two.

De_Nederbelg, last month's runaway winner with 15 votes, falls to 6 but keeps his seat. The Discord-only campaign saved money, but not votes.

And your editor?

Chaplain_Carakas is re-elected with 5 votes, one fewer than last month, in joint thirteenth place. Part of the drop may be the price of MBKA's five-seat plan: votes that might otherwise have gone his way were spread across the party's candidates. It is a sacrifice he made gladly, even if the arithmetic went wrong elsewhere. His campaign article collected more upvotes than votes, which confirms what he already suspected: Belgians like reading about Congress more than voting for the people who write about it. He thanks everyone who coloured in his dot, and promises to keep reading the laws.

THE CABAL INVESTIGATION

Who Pulls the Strings?

Gilhil revealed as the man behind Nicol's return. Was the cabal real, and who really runs Belgium?

When Nicol became Premier, the Gazette, like most of Belgium, assumed Nicol had decided to run. It turns out we were wrong.

Nicol is no newcomer to the top job. In April 2026, Nicol served as president of Belgium and led an expansion campaign that took the Belgian Empire to its peak, stretching from the UK, Ireland and Portugal all the way to the Bahamas and Cuba.

This time, however, the return was not Nicol's idea. Last month, Nicol's time in government ended in what your chaplain could only describe as a funeral. First Nicol fell out of Congress by a single vote. Then the President, Theopold, stole Nicol's employees, and bankruptcy loomed. Finally, Theopold kicked Nicol out of the government altogether. Your chaplain wrote the eulogy. The cause of death: thrown under the bus, by Theo.

It has now been revealed that someone saw an opportunity in that grudge, and signed Nicol up for the presidency so that Nicol could take revenge. Nicol did enter the primaries, won them, and submitted the candidacy for president. But everyone assumed the first move came from Nicol. Now we know who was behind it: Gilhil.

The irony is that the revenge has turned into something closer to a rescue. Theopold, the very man Nicol was supposed to get even with, now appears to be working harder than anyone to help Nicol keep his marbles. Retirement, catfood, and now crisis management for the man he once fired: Theopold truly never stops.

Your editor shared the discovery on Discord, and the Premier responded the only way one can respond to a chaplain:

>Chaplain_Carakas: We found who we should blame for this month. It's not LGB, not Nicol nor Theopold, it's Gilhil. Nicol: Thank you father. Forgive me for I have sinned.

The Gazette grants absolution, on the condition of one pint. It is not the first time your chaplain has ministered to Nicol: last month he wrote the eulogy, this month he hears the confession. Few politicians in Belgium can claim to have been buried and absolved by the same clergyman within a single month.

The cabal

For months, rumours have circulated about a cabal secretly running the government. Most people assumed the not-so-secret kingmaker was Babu, Belgium's fifth president, who in June 2026 styled himself its first King. King Babu reigned as a tyrant, advised by his ministers and loved by his people. He united Belgium in the war against the dastardly BEER-alliance, regained territory as far as the Azores and Portugal, and achieved his lifetime goal of overthrowing the Austrian dictator Inori. His reign made him a living legend in WarEra.

But Belgium is now asking a new question. What if Babu was the public face, and Gilhil the one holding the strings?

The name does not help his case. Gilhil is Sindarin for "star-child." It could also be read as "star of peace," though in light of recent revelations, the Gazette considers that the less likely translation.

Gilhil's defence so far amounts to a single sentence:

>"I'd say I dismantled the cabal by ruining their plans." — Gilhil

Those plans, he means, were the election of Solis, which failed. There may be some truth in it. The chaos of this transition of power suggests that whatever the cabal intended, it did not go to plan. Whether Gilhil dismantled the cabal, simply became one, or has been the one in the shadows pulling the cabal's strings all along remains an open question. Voters, at least, have given their answer: with 3 votes, the alleged puppetmaster will be watching the new Congress from the outside.

THE GHANA ACCOUNTS

Is Ghana the New Kyrgyzstan?

Accountants sound the alarm over the cost of Belgium's proxy state

The France scandal may be about to get snowed under. A new one is emerging, this time over the financing of Ghana, officially our proxy state. Critics call that a polite word for something else.

Some of the accountants have started sounding the alarm. They fear Ghana may be going the way of Kyrgyzstan, which was loudly proclaimed as Belgium's sugar daddy until the numbers failed to back it up. So far, the numbers for Ghana are not trending positive either. In the first six days of October alone, Belgium has sent Ghana more than Kyrgyzstan received in the whole of September, and more than double what Ghana itself received last month. Much more will still be needed to keep Ghana afloat under constant attack from Portugal and its proxies.

Every attack seems to come from a different country. The latest, in Central Burkina Faso, has now been lost 0–2. It was closer than the score suggests. The first round, where most of the damage was done, ended 220.05M against 227.13M: a gap of barely 7M, about one and a half percent. The second round was less close, at 87.71M against 108.58M.

Once again Portugal did the heavy lifting, with 228.13M, more than the rest of the attackers' top ten combined. Burkina Faso itself managed 11.68M, sixth on its own side. Belgium led the defence with 130.87M, followed by Croatia (55.1M), Ghana (47.14M) and Kyrgyzstan (27.99M): the old sugar daddy, showing up for the new one. Belgian fighters were also the best paid on the defending side, earning the most from mercenary contracts, about three times as much as Ghana's own fighters.

The price is steep. Losing the region cuts Ghana off from its strategic resource, the very thing it needed to become the sugar daddy it was promised to be.

"Keep Ghana" was the slogan of the week. The first job of the new Congress may be to work out what keeping Ghana will cost, and whether anyone has done the sums.

The Belgian Gazette · Final Edition Before the Polls

Truth in a times of war · Belgium, est. 1830 · 6 October 2026

FRONT PAGE · THE INQUIRY

If you want to get in on the action and vote in the next election, you can join here

The Governor Who Lost Fr*nce

Premier Nicol turns the tables on LGB and announces an inquiry: "Smells like corruption"

The question of who lost Fr*nce has taken a dramatic turn. Yesterday LGB, also known as LodewijkJ-Bakker, wrote in his campaign that the new government gave up our Fr*nch territories on its very first day. Last night Premier Nicol answered, and the answer points straight back at LGB.

>"I'm also confused as to why the president is to blame for the governor his mismanagement of his subjects. We will be having an inquiry about the funds sent to manage this, smells like corruption." — Premier Nicol

Readers with a good memory will know exactly which governor the Premier means. On 25 September, this very Gazette reported that the former Fr*nch territories had been placed under Belgian administration. The newly appointed Governor-General: LodewijkJ-Bakker.

His programme was ambitious. It included the abolition of French, compulsory Belgian beer and fries, a giant Manneken Pis atop the Eiffel Tower, and a dramatically redesigned Tour through the Flemish Ardennes. We described him at the time as a man whose legendary hatred of Fr*nce ran deep enough to make even the Belgian administration nervous.

One week later, on 2 October, Northern France rose up. On his watch.

A governor of nothing

Yesterday morning the Gazette joked that Belgium now has "a governor of nothing, which may be the most Belgian institution ever invented." Attentive readers may have wondered who that governor was. With the matter still under investigation, we chose not to spell it out for those with shorter memories. Now that the Premier has spoken openly, there is no reason to be coy: the governor of nothing is running for Congress, on a platform blaming someone else for the nothing.

It also casts his campaign in a new light. LGB promised voters only four things, and the first was "keeping Fr*nce under Belgian control." That was, until recently, his actual job. He also wrote that he was ready to give up his spot in the retirement home. Readers may now wonder whether the retirement was voluntary.

The inquiry

The Premier says there will be an inquiry into the funds sent to manage the Fr*nch territories. Until it reports, the Gazette makes no accusations: "smells like corruption" is the Premier's assessment, not yet a finding. LGB will, of course, be given the chance to respond, and these pages remain open to him.

Riverblade of the Belgische Anticorruptie Partij, whose platform promised to end the brown envelopes with one small exemption for himself, may finally have found his cause. Whether his footnote survives the inquiry is another matter.

>LGB's claim: half true. The scandal: no longer postponed. — The Gazette, updating yesterday's verdict

LAST-MINUTE CAMPAIGN NEWS

A Song, a Pen and a Pint

What changed since the evening edition

MrJack drops a new track

Yesterday the Gazette wrote that MrJack was still running on last month's campaign song, "which is, frankly, so last month." MrJack answered the only way a true artist can: with a new release.

And it is genuinely good. Your editor has listened, and can confirm that this one is a proper banger. Of all the campaign promises made this month, it may be the only one already delivered in full.

The song introduces "a man of the people, with a silver beard and a heart that's hopeful," and promises that he will "train the new ones every day." The 400-citizen goal, now set to music.

It is also refreshingly honest. As readers of our Discord recap will remember, MrJack admitted he doesn't always adjust his gear for bounties, because he is saving up for gold-tier equipment. The song confirms it:

>He loves his gold, he loves his shine But he gives his heart, his soul, his time

Then comes the bridge, where a choir calls on Belgium to gather round. We can only assume this is the Ghanaian gospel choir of the Saint Kevin De Bruyne Church, still in the country and clearly earning their fund transfer.

Listen to the new campaign song here.

The Gazette hereby retracts its remark and acknowledges that MrJack's campaign soundtrack is fully up to date. The question of who paid for this one remains open. Last time, it was your taxes.

Slosse picks up his pen after all

Yesterday Slosse_de_Kerel told the Gazette he wouldn't be writing an article, because writing simply wasn't his thing. By the evening, he had written one anyway. Apparently the Gazette's coverage was all the encouragement he needed.

His platform is short and clear. He is running as moral support for "our sunshine," which readers will recognise as Solis. He will advocate for more purple. He is online enough, open to debating the issues that affect our country and, above all, our Alliance. TOGETHER WE ARE STRONG!!!!

And then the line that may win him the most votes: more beer in parliament. He adds, with admirable honesty, that Kerel is undrinkable, but that we support locals. A candidate named after a beer he refuses to drink is a first, even for Belgian politics.

>More beer in parliament! — Slosse_de_Kerel, Purple Reign

That makes three candidates promising beer: Gilhil for the soldiers, and Vinni and now Slosse for the politicians. Whoever forms the next government, the Premier may finally have to give the people their pint.

Vinni speaks, in English this time

Just in: Vinni_Van_Karmeliet has broken his silence. Yesterday the Gazette noted that he had published nothing this month, and that last month he published only in Dutch. Tonight he answered both points at once, with a post in English. The Gazette's translation service is hereby stood down.

Vinni is heading to Congress to help Solis out and to calm things down a bit with some free beer. Purple Reign has decided to increase its presence in Congress, which explains why the party went from one reluctant candidate to three in a single day.

He admits he wasn't around much last month, but promises that will change. October is quieter for him, so he plans to be online more: to vote on laws, take part in more discussion, and perhaps bring up recruitment and MU restructuring again.

>Hope to see you in Congress. — Vinni Van Karmeliet

Vinni's free beer is now officially back on the menu for this month, and he becomes the second candidate, after Slosse, whose campaign doubles as moral support for Solis. Solis, it seems, will not be short of company or refreshments.

Still silent: AkimboPanda, PiratePiss, Sod75 and VOSS (PISS); Birow, Rex_Ferrum and ExuTrioz (MRW); Silvergerma, Karbonkel and Cool_Breeze (Achteruit); and greveleer (MBKA). That is eleven of twenty-four, with less than two hours to go.

A note on the media blackout

This is the Gazette's final report before the polls open. Out of respect for the voters and the candidates, the Gazette will observe a media blackout on the loss of Fr*nce, the governorship and the pending inquiry until the election results are in. Voters deserve to make up their own minds, without fresh headlines landing in the final hours.

Until then: read the platforms, ask your candidates questions, take the voter test, and colour in your red dot.

The Belgian Gazette · Evening Edition

Truth in a times of war · Belgium, est. 1830 · 5 October 2026

If you want to get in on the action you can join here

CONGRESS ELECTIONS

Twenty-Four and Counting

Purple Reign finds more volunteers, a historian learns the ropes, and one candidate wants Congress to hurry up

This morning's edition counted nineteen candidates. By the evening, five more had joined: Vinni_Van_Karmeliet and The_Historian for Purple Reign, VOSS for PISS, and WaldetrudusOfHertals and greveleer for MBKA. That brings the total to twenty-four. With only 18 seats available in Congress, at least six candidates will go home empty-handed. Every vote suddenly matters, and for the twelve who have not yet campaigned, the clock is ticking.

The Purple Reign surprise

This morning Slosse_de_Kerel told us he was running partly because nobody else in Purple Reign wanted to. By the evening, two more Purple Reign candidates had registered. Either Slosse's honesty inspired a movement, or someone in Purple Reign finally read the Gazette.

Vinni_Van_Karmeliet, for whom the government reportedly gave Belgium its very own map pattern, may now be hoping to choose the next one himself. He has not published anything this time; you will find his campaign from last month on page 2.

A historian learns the ropes

The_Historian is running for the first time, and is still learning how to attach a campaign promise to a candidacy. It is his first time, so let us forgive him and help him by spreading the word. Veteran Pommelsmurf_Thijs showed him the ropes, and after withdrawing, The_Historian resubmitted his candidacy correctly.

Riverblade was less courageous. Fearing that resubmitting would drop him to the bottom of the ballot, he decided that was a bigger risk than leaving voters guessing. He prefers to spread the word chat by chat, or hopes people will read the Gazette. Riverblade, we have you covered: his platform is in this morning's edition.

The_Historian · Purple Reign

"My first candidacy"

My good friend the late Aristotle already spoke about the 'homo politicus'. Humans are inherently political beings. We search for justice, responsibility and the Common Good.

Our Belgian parliamentary democracy was a huge innovation in the nineteenth century, and our federal state is… also innovative. It is something to be cherished and its value should not be underestimated.

Now, 2,500 years after his last words, our Greek friend is more right than ever. I believe it is time to take a more active political role and serve in our digital Belgian COPE WarEra society's interest.

I will make sure we stand together as a government. Be constructive in discussions. Listen to the public. Be humble. Be approachable.

The challenges are many! The solutions are few!

Vote for the Purple Reign candidates!

WaldetrudusOfHertals · MBKA

Fresh from the trenches of a ruined future

Look, I didn't plan on entering the political arena, but coming from the absolute, ash-choked trenches of a ruined future where we fight tooth and nail just to survive every single day, I've learned one undeniable truth: you cannot sit back and watch your home burn.

I love Belgium, every corner of Flanders, every community that makes this nation what it is, with every fibre of my being. That fierce love is why I am stepping forward to run for congress. I am not here to tear down our government; I am here to help it, prevent slowing down decision making, avoid bureaucratic red tape, and debates that leave our people vulnerable. We need leadership that matches the grit of its citizens, pursuing justice and absolute righteousness.

We are facing real threats, and when a crisis hits, hesitation is a death sentence. We need swift action and decisive voting, not tomorrow, but right now. I am here to stand shoulder-to-shoulder with our institutions to help steer this country right, but make no mistake: if the system chooses to stall while our future is on the line, I will stand as an unyielding wall against that sluggishness. We need a government that acts with the speed, honour, and strength of a people who refuse to break. Help me help our nation build a safer, stronger Belgium, and let's get to work, swiftly, and without looking back.

A vote for me is a vote for getting things DONE.

To debate, or not to debate

Readers of this morning's edition will notice an interesting contrast. Your editor and Pommelsmurf_Thijs both campaign for more discussion before Congress votes. WaldetrudusOfHertals campaigns for less of it, and for swift, decisive voting. The_Historian, meanwhile, wants Congress to be constructive in discussions, which may make him the swing vote.

All of them want a Congress that works; they simply disagree about how fast it should think. That is a real choice for voters, and it means the next Congress may hold its first proper debate: about whether to debate.

24 candidates · 18 seats

• MBKA: MrJack, Gilhil, Chaplain_Carakas, WaldetrudusOfHertals, greveleer
• PISS: AkimboPanda, PiratePiss, Balthazar_Boma, Sod75, Vici, VOSS
• DCP: Pommelsmurf_Thijs, De_Nederbelg
• MRW: Birow, LodewijkJ-Bakker, Rex_Ferrum, ExuTrioz
• Achteruit: Silvergerma, Karbonkel, Cool_Breeze
• Purple Reign: Slosse_de_Kerel, Vinni_Van_Karmeliet, The_Historian
• BAP: Riverblade

Still silent this month: AkimboPanda, PiratePiss, Sod75 and VOSS (PISS); Birow, Rex_Ferrum and ExuTrioz (MRW); Silvergerma, Karbonkel and Cool_Breeze (Achteruit); Vinni_Van_Karmeliet (Purple Reign); and greveleer (MBKA). That is twelve of twenty-four. For what some of them said last time, turn to page 2.

FACT CHECK

Who Lost Fr*nce?

LodewijkJ-Bakker blames the new government. The timeline only half agrees.

In his campaign, LodewijkJ-Bakker, who signs his posts LGB, wrote that on the very first day of the new government Belgium "already gave up on our rightful Fr*nch territories." The Gazette checked the timeline.

The uprising in Northern France began on 2 October at 11:05. Nicol was elected Premier on 3 October at 02:04. By the time she took office, the battle for Northern France was already a done deal. Eastern France rose up on 3 October at 09:01, under the new government. There Belgium did fight, and lost. Ile-de-France followed just after midnight on 4 October.

The battle for Northern France itself ended 0–2. Belgium put 3.15M and 2.15M into its two rounds, against France's 7.5M and 6.89M, and never managed more than 30% of the damage in either. That fight was over before Nicol had the keys to the office.

So the loss of Fr*nce did not begin under Nicol. It began under Theopold, the very Premier LGB credits with keeping Fr*nce under Belgian control. And under the priority rules, the new government cannot simply turn the tide wherever it likes. Until we manage to slap down an uprising, Nicol's hands are largely tied.

LGB responds

Confronted with the timeline, LGB answered on Discord that losing Northern France "was not ideal but didn't cut the connection yet." It was Eastern France, he said, that was detrimental and led to the mess we are in now.

That is a fair point, and the Gazette takes it on board. Eastern France did fall under the new government, within hours of its first day, and it was the loss that cut the connection. But "gave up" is not the right word for a battle Belgium fought and lost, under priority rules that tied the government's hands.

>Verdict: half true. Scandal: postponed.

And Theopold? His reputation, built on retirement and catfood, survives intact. He conquered Fr*nce, and Fr*nce, being Fr*nce, rose up. That is not a scandal. It is history repeating itself, as it tends to do with the French.

FROM THE ARCHIVES

What the Silent Said Last Time

They have not campaigned this month. Here is what they told us before.

Twelve candidates have not yet told us what they stand for this month. Several of them did speak up in earlier elections, so the Gazette went digging in the archives. Readers can decide for themselves whether the past is a guide to the future.

PiratePiss · PISS

Last month's platform. This month, apparently, it wasn't worth the piss.

My fellow country men and women,

I stand here before you as a proud piss lover. A man of principles. An honest man!

Not long ago I was cast out as a pariah by the treacherous MRW party. I was shunned, spat on and they kicked my cat! But I did not give up and found like-minded honourable people in the great party of PISS!

On this day I stand before you, not to gain sympathy, but to run for congress as a man of the people! For our fine new Prime Minister asked the people what they want, and the people screamed piss, piss, PISS!

Now that our country is coloured the way our good lord intended, it is time to expand our stain and paint France the way they smell!

Do the sensible thing. Vote PiratePiss in congress. Thank you.

ExuTrioz · MRW

His last article was not about his own campaign, but it may make you wonder about another candidate

In an official statement as party leader of the Mouvement Réformateur Warera, ExuTrioz denounced what he called "a shameful act of political treason." The traitor: Piratefish, who had stood on the MRW list under the banner "May this pirate sail the seas once more!" before defecting to PISS and rebranding as PissPiratePiss.

ExuTrioz accused him of trading honour and vision "for a horrific shade of yellow," declared that MRW does not endorse any of his opinions, and promised that history would judge his betrayal. He closed by reaffirming MRW's commitment to a Pink Belgium and extending an open hand to Purple Reign, since pink and purple, he argued, share a noble family heritage.

PiratePiss tells it differently: in his version, MRW cast him out and kicked his cat. Voters will have to decide whose account to believe. Purple Reign, now with three candidates, may want to check whether that open hand still stands.

Moins d'impôts, plus d'audace!

AkimboPanda · PISS

Silent since this

AkimboPanda has not published anything since he posted a picture of "Smurfette" to get the people motivated. Whether the people were motivated, and what exactly they were motivated to do, the Gazette cannot say.

Birow · MRW

Last term's platform, in brief

Birow posted last time but not this time. In fact, his only posts are about getting elected to Congress, so it looks as though he has given up posting altogether for this term.

Last time he ran for re-election after two terms, as Commander of the Royal Air Force MU, focused on daily participation and hunting down combat contracts. He pointed to his Reddit recruitment work, his active role in Congress debates, and his position as the Ministry of Defence's single point of contact for his MU. His stated ambition: higher ministry roles, and one day the presidency.

Karbonkel · Achteruit

Last time's platform. No article this time.

Hello. I am Karbonkel. And I am becoming a member of Congress.

Because I have one eye. And with that eye, I can see very well. At Belgium.

Belgium needs to become better. That is why Karbonkel is going to Congress. I am going to sit there.

And if someone says: "Karbonkel, you're not allowed to do that." Then I say: Yes, I am. Because Karbonkel is a candidate.

I am going to make more Belgium. And more for the Belgians too.

And if war comes… Then Karbonkel watches. 👁️ And then Karbonkel knows what needs to be done.

So vote for Karbonkel. Not for the others. They have two eyes and still don't know anything. Karbonkel knows. Karbonkel has looked.

🇧🇪👁️ VOTE KARBONKEL. 👁️🇧🇪

Sod75 · PISS

One article, ever

Sod75's only article ever was published two months ago. It was about fighting side by side with the French, accompanied by a Lord of the Rings meme. With Fr*nce currently sitting on Wallonia, the Gazette is not sure this is the right moment in his campaign for it to resurface.

Cool_Breeze · Achteruit

One grievance

Cool_Breeze's main complaint appears to be the meow language. It does exist in the game, but fortunately we do not speak it in Belgium. This reporter wonders which way this wind will blow if elected. Given that his party is called Achteruit, we fear it may be backwards rather than forwards.

Vinni_Van_Karmeliet · Purple Reign

Last month's platform, translated by the Gazette. Quiet since; perhaps he drank too much of his own stuff to be allowed to publish.

Not only has Vinni published nothing this month; last month he published only in Dutch, leaving every voter who doesn't speak it to guess. Riverblade managed four languages. The Gazette has kindly translated for him. Consider it a public service, or an unsolicited campaign contribution.

Free beer back in Congress! (quickly put a post together for this)

After long deliberation I have decided to stand for the next Congress again. One of the reasons is that our new president is a sweet little kitten, and I do have a soft spot for him. He is small, he purrs, and now and then he lashes out. What more could you want… (This was after his first beer)

I would also like to commit myself to the growth of our beautiful country. Keeping our big, not-so-friendly giant Germany at bay, and everything our government can and wants to see carried out.

By Belgian standards, I am also going all in for free beer in our political ranks. It is good for our economy and for our clear minds.

Purple Belgium. Why the colour purple? This colour stands for luxury, creativity and royalty. Belgium is a luxury country (according to the statistics, anyway). Belgium is creative (certainly when it comes to taxes). Belgium is a kingdom (which we pay for with great love).

This month there has already been a vote in which the colour amber came out the winner. Congratulations to the winners, but the fight is far from over!

VOTE PURPLE REIGN, VOTE VINNI_VAN_KARMELIET

With very kind and refreshing regards, Vinni Van Karmeliet

LESSONS FROM LAST MONTH

Two Votes From Glory

Last month's unsuccessful candidates, and where they are now

Before the silent candidates get too comfortable, a look at last month's results may help. Seven candidates failed to get elected: Nicol, Cool_Breeze, ExuTrioz and ASILE with two votes each (1.37%), and AkimboPanda, Belgian_Heisenberg and Yard with a single vote apiece (0.68%).

Yes, that Nicol. A month ago Nicol could not get into Congress with two votes. Today Nicol is Premier. Belgian politics truly is a land of opportunity, or at least a land of surprises.

Three of last month's near misses are on the ballot again: Cool_Breeze, ExuTrioz and AkimboPanda. All three are also on this month's silent list. With 24 candidates for 18 seats, the Gazette gently notes that a campaign that did not work last month is unlikely to work better by not happening at all.

ASILE and Belgian_Heisenberg are not running this time. Belgian_Heisenberg, we assume, is busy cooking something else. Yard, meanwhile, appears to have vanished entirely, leaving only a question mark where a profile picture used to be.

A NOTE FROM THE EDITOR'S SICKBED

Readers should keep in mind that Chaplain_Carakas is currently taking more pills per day than most MUs combined, as part of his recovery from surgery. He is on sick leave, bored, and his Switch 2 controllers have run out of battery. Hence, perhaps, the size of this evening's edition.

This may also explain why he is still in eco, even though his fingers are itching to launch the only jet he has and teach Fr*nce a lesson. Fr*nce, consider yourself warned. As soon as the painkillers allow.

The Belgian Gazette

Truth in a times of war · Belgium, est. 1830 · 5 October 2026

If you want to get in on the action you can join here

PAGE 1

Our correspondent in Ghana

Ghana is where the action is, so that is where the Gazette has sent Patate. One day in, the press badge has been swapped for camouflage, a helmet and a Ghanaian flag patch. He is settling in nicely.

FRONT PAGE · A POLITICAL COLUMN BY PATATE

Let the Zombie Queen Cook

Belgium does not start governments. It slowly discovers them.

Belgium does not start governments

There is an old Belgian political tradition which says that when nobody knows who is governing the country, things are probably going reasonably well. It took Nicol roughly 48 hours to rediscover this principle.

The (wo)man(?) became president almost by accident. He didn't campaign, yet people still voted for him. His own view on the whole situation is hard to argue with: "YOU VOTED FOR SOMEONE WITHOUT A CAMPAIGN."

The first days of the Zombie Queen administration have nevertheless caused mild concern. France has taken Wallonia. Government positions were apparently distributed according to the ancient Belgian administrative principle of does anyone here know a guy? Half the country wanted the-kitten-that-aged-33-years Theopold back. The other half wants Solis. MiBru has somehow become "our only hope."

Nicol would like everyone to calm the fuck down.

>"Y'all acting like first days of any new administration is always smooth and shit. This is still Belgium eh." — Premier Nicol

Never before have wiser words been spoken about our constitutional system. Belgium does not start governments. Belgium slowly discovers them.

Our real-life politicians require eighteen months, six informateurs, three royal interventions and a man from Vilvoorde nobody remembers electing before somebody is allowed to order sandwiches. Nicol has had two days, and people are already asking why the Fr*nch haven't been driven back across the Seine.

One lost battle is not Waterloo II

Yes, we lost Wallonia. That is a pity. However, our strategic priority remains Ghana. This has led to the extraordinary sight of Belgians arguing that losing Wallonia may be acceptable because Ghana is more important. Leopold II would probably rise from his grave purely out of professional curiosity, and maybe to lend a hand or two in the fight (not his, FYI).

Our new president rightly points out:

>"Let's just all keep in mind, that we're winning the fights we're supposed to be winning." — Premier Nicol

The government's focus is Ghana. France is expensive. Mali is moving. Alliances are shifting. Governments have changed everywhere. It is the weekend.

And beneath the Discord smoke, the bounty mathematics and seventeen people simultaneously explaining why everybody else is an idiot, people are actually doing the work. Even Solis, the man who arguably should have won the election, has joined in rather than sulking in a bunker.

France winning one battle does not make it Waterloo II. It makes it one lost battle.

Belgium chose chaos

And perhaps this is the moment to remember Theopold's wisest contribution to Belgian political philosophy:

>"Guys please shame Nicol when the fighting is done, not before." — Theopold, former Premier

Because Belgium chose chaos. Nicol himself has repeatedly reminded us of this. We elected a president who didn't expect to become president and who now occasionally requires assistance from his pregnant partner to answer Discord while driving.

This is not Belgian dysfunction. This is pure Belgian government.

So let the Zombie Queen cook. Give Nicol, Solis, MiBru and the government a few days. Let Ghana play out. Let alliances settle. Let people figure out which minister actually has which Discord permissions. Then we can resume the ancient Belgian democratic tradition of accusing everyone in government of incompetence while absolutely refusing to take their jobs.

And if it all goes wrong?

Well. Solis has already announced he'll run again. Silvergerma will presumably also run again, because apparently he has become the electoral equivalent of The Simpsons: nobody remembers when it started, but cancelling it now would feel wrong. And Nicol still has 25 days to become Belgium's greatest president or produce enough material for thirty more Gazettes.

And remember: Wallonia has survived Burgundians, Habsburgs, Spaniards, Austrians, Dutchmen and approximately nine thousand PS governments. It can survive a weekend with the French.

Keep faith. Keep shooting. Keep Ghana.

— Patate, reporting from Ghana

GOOD NEWS FROM THE GHANA FRONT

Ghana Holds

A 2–1 victory over Burkina Faso, and Portugal's damage goes up in smoke

Our correspondent arrived just in time. Ghana's defence against Burkina Faso has succeeded with a 2–1 victory, with only the second round slipping just out of our hands.

The biggest loser was not Burkina Faso but Portugal. The Portuguese poured 236.18M damage into the attack, more than the other nine attackers combined, and all of it for nothing. Burkina Faso itself managed 11.19M, seventh on its own side. One wonders whose war this was.

On our side, Croatia led with 62.24M, followed closely by the Netherlands with 61.86M. Clearly our Dutch neighbours have laid off the cheese since Wallonia, and we gladly take back everything we said. Well, most of it.

Belgium came third with 54.24M, ahead of Italy (47.38M) and Kyrgyzstan (46.38M). For a country that ran out of paper, Kyrgyzstan appears to have found an entire notebook. Nigeria, Cuba, Ghana itself, South Africa and Hungary completed the defence.

>Keep faith. Keep shooting. Keep Ghana. — Proven correct within 24 hours

The strategy was simple, and yesterday it worked. Wallonia was lost; Ghana was kept. The resistance bar is filling, the iron keeps flowing, and Portugal will need a while to count its losses.

PAGE 2

THE BATTLE FOR WALLONIA

It's Not Us, It's Them

Belgium out-damages the attackers' top three combined, and Wallonia still falls

Wallonia has fallen, and the numbers tell a story every Belgian already suspected. Belgium put 131.7M damage into the defence. That is more than the top three attackers combined: Sweden (42.18M), France (39.64M) and Congo (29.01M) managed 110.83M between them.

Our allies stood with us, and we thank them. Turkiye (16.64M) and Poland (15.69M) led the way, followed by the United Arab Emirates, Luxembourg, Azerbaijan and, from our correspondent's new home, Ghana with 5.56M. Our Dutch neighbours came in tenth with 3.54M. We suspect one cheese too many; next time we will send them a cone of proper Belgian fries for energy. Even Kyrgyzstan showed up with 3.25M, which suggests they have found some paper after all.

But at least eleven nations lined up against us, from Senegal and Iran to Mali, the United Kingdom, Finland, Norway, Yemen and Sierra Leone. We tried. The aid that came was simply not enough to counter the hate we are receiving from our enemies.

>It's not us. It's them. — Belgium, on the Fr*nch and friends

The battle was also cheaper than it looks. Minister of Economy De_Nederbelg shared the latest figures, showing that 47.59% of the money we spent on the battle flowed back to Belgian players. And that does not even include those currently tending to our overseas areas. Our defence ledger records 131,696,294 damage and 4,956.43 BTC. France's own ledger shows 39,644,975 damage and 942.61 BTC. Belgium did more than three times the damage and brought home more than five times the BTC. France, meanwhile, spent more money, got less for it, and did not even manage to keep it within their own country.

Not everyone was convinced this matters. On Discord, NoKoffiekoekenForYou asked whether it really makes a difference if money leaves the country, as long as it stays within the alliance. De_Nederbelg answered that we still try to keep a healthy ratio. France's flowback, he added, stands at 6.62%, which is laughable no matter how you look at it. And they make less money than we do.

So we may have lost a battle, but we will win the war. At this rate we will bleed the French treasury dry, until they are forced to sell the Eiffel Tower for scrap to make guns for the defence of Paris, once we are back at its gates.

Belgium will not give up. The resistance bar for Wallonia is already filling, and we will soon be back to rid the map of that blue stain once again.

FOR THOSE WITH A LIFE

Civil War Cancelled

Yesterday's Discord debate in five minutes

Yesterday evening Belgian Discord did what it does best. There was more complaining than usual, even by Belgian standards, and for a moment it looked as though Marvel could film a Civil War sequel on location. The subject: money, bounties, and who should get them.

Waff ex-TaxmanGodx opened fire. Belgian MUs were left empty on battles with poor rates, he argued, while good rates went to allies who had given us bad ones. Belgian money should go mostly to Belgian damage and Belgian MUs.

Gilhil was unimpressed: the previous term had the same problem, with cores lost every other day because of the piggybank. The only difference, he said, is who did it. Then it was the Germans; now it is the clowns.

Theopold, from his retirement basket, noted that he received complaints on 2 out of 30 days, and that Nicol has already reached that score.

MrJack offered an honest confession. When making money, he often doesn't adjust his gear for bounties, but in major battles he fights even at a net loss. Theopold called that understandable and explained the catch: the top damage MUs often can't take contracts from their own country, because their members sit in government. If everyone adjusted their gear every time, Belgian max damage would rise to unseen heights.

His core argument: the money is not the problem. The problem is paying it to people who don't use it to do more damage. Keeping players from going broke while flying jets, and turning that into 200M damage, is a clear win. A rate like 0.07 exists because we need people shooting with better gear, or we lose. He then went to bed. Night night.

Minister of Economy De_Nederbelg added one point not to forget: Belgians who can shoot with better gear also reach a higher rank faster. Better-paid soldiers become stronger soldiers, and stronger soldiers make a stronger nation.

The final verdict came just before midnight. araminou concluded it was all the fault of the rich, just like IRL. MrJack corrected: not the rich, but the greed present in everyone.

And then, Belgians being Belgians, the civil war never came. Instead, everyone reached the conclusion your editor usually reaches himself: I could do better. And so they registered for Congress.

The candidates, and what they stand for, are on page 3.

PAGE 3

CONGRESS ELECTIONS

Nineteen and Counting

Who is running, and what they stand for, if they told us

Nineteen candidates have registered for Congress so far, and counting.

The candidates

• MBKA: MrJack, Gilhil, Chaplain_Carakas
• PISS: AkimboPanda, PiratePiss, Balthazar_Boma, Sod75, Vici
• DCP: Pommelsmurf_Thijs, De_Nederbelg
• MRW: Birow, LodewijkJ-Bakker, Rex_Ferrum, ExuTrioz
• Achteruit: Silvergerma, Karbonkel, Cool_Breeze
• BAP: Riverblade
• Purple Reign: Slosse_de_Kerel

Not every candidate wanted to spend money on a campaign. Some chose a very modern, Discord-only approach, presumably reasoning that anyone serious about WarEra has Discord anyway. Pommelsmurf_Thijs and yours truly published both traditionally and on Discord.

Chaplain_Carakas · MBKA

"Your chaplain in Congress." Full disclosure: this one is written by your editor.

Fellow Belgians,

I'm running for a second term in Congress. Since my last campaign I've also taken on The Belgian Gazette. Both jobs come down to the same promise: you should know what's happening in your country.

Informed. I'll keep sharing as much as I can about what goes on in Congress. Some things are confidential, and I respect that. My colleagues know that when I'm unsure whether something can be shared, I ask first. I was grateful that our previous president mentioned this in his farewell speech. It's the standard I want to keep.

Discussed. This is my main point. Too often we vote for something because that's what we always do, or because everyone else seems to be voting that way. That isn't governing. A proposal deserves real discussion before it gets a vote: what it does, who it helps, what it costs, and what we might be missing. If a law can't survive a few honest questions, it shouldn't pass. Every law should also have a filled-in description. This can be brief, but the basic reason for the law should be known without having to check Discord.

Trusted. Openness only works if people can trust you with sensitive information. I'll keep both commitments: transparency towards you, and discretion where it's truly needed.

You may know me as your chaplain. This election, I'm asking to stay your congressman too. If you want a Congress that thinks before it votes, I'd be honoured to have your support again.

Vote Chaplain_Carakas.

Your editor notes, with some pride, that his Congress announcements are the only articles he writes with a positive upvote ratio. His chaplain work gets support, but is still mostly downvoted. He keeps going anyway. Apparently Belgians prefer their chaplain on the ballot rather than in the pulpit, but he is not giving up on either.

Gilhil · MBKA

At last, a candidate who promises beer. Premier, take notes.

"I am Gilhil, and I seek a seat in the Congress! Because prosperity and security begin with taking care of those who defend our homeland.

We will protect our farms, towns, and workshops, strengthen the Treasury, and ensure that our realm has the resources to sustain its forces. And when our armies march abroad on the Queen's expeditions, they will know that the homeland has not forgotten them.

Every soldier at the front deserves a full ration, reliable supplies, and, by decree of the Treasury, a free Trappist beer ration.

Strong coffers. Secure borders. Prosperous towns. Well-supplied soldiers.

For Queen Nicol, for Belgium, and for every soldier with a muddy pair of boots: Gilhil stands ready to serve."

MrJack · MBKA

The Gazette's educated guess

Editor's note: MrJack has not yet published a platform for this election. In the spirit of good journalism, the Gazette has made some educated guesses based on his last campaign. Any resemblance to his actual plans is purely coincidental.

Last month MrJack promised a governor for our conquered territories. Promise kept: we got a governor. Unfortunately, the conquered territory was Fr*nce, and Fr*nce has since un-conquered itself. Belgium now has a governor of nothing, which may be the most Belgian institution ever invented. We expect this month's platform to include a plan to retake Fr*nce, purely so the governor has something to do.

The goal of 400 citizens will surely return. With half the country now working in Ghana, we suspect it will be redefined as 200 in Belgium and 200 in Accra.

His last campaign opened with "I had a dream… but I don't remember it anymore." We are confident this month's dream will be just as memorable.

And the campaign song, paid for with your taxes, as he cheerfully admitted? For now he is still running on last month's track, which is, frankly, so last month. A man who commissioned his own banger can surely afford a remix. Until then, the original.

Vici · PISS

"Vici back in congress"

A strong economy starts with clear choices. The PISS Party stands for a future where hard work is rewarded, businesses can grow, and the government manages money wisely.

We do not believe in empty promises, but in plans that are clear, sustainable, and future-oriented. But I know I made a mistake. Piss, sorry.

Balthazar_Boma · PISS

Funded by the proceeds of, by his own account, the best sausages in the country

BOMA: "Ladies and gentlemen… Boma is running again. We had a tremendous first run. Tremendous. Historic. Frankly, nobody did Congress like Boma."

BOMA: "People said, 'Boma, you already won once. Why come back?' I said: Because I look fantastic."

He adjusts his glasses.

BOMA: "The moustache is bigger. The suit is better. The hair is… questionable. But we're going to win."

A reporter shouts: "What happens if you lose?" Boma pauses.

BOMA: "Lose? I don't lose. But if, by some terrible, horrible, absolutely unbelievable mistake, I don't win… I'm selling the football field. Yes. The whole thing. Grass, goals, everything. Gone. So you better vote for Boma, because apparently you people like football."

BOMA: "Boma is back. Believe me. Congress has never looked this good."

Let's just hope he doesn't replace the Red Devils with De Kampioenen if he gets elected.

Pommelsmurf_Thijs · DCP

Four terms and still not burned out. Will a fifth do the trick?

Dear Belgians,

I'm running for a fifth term in Congress. Most of you already know me, what I stand for, and the work I try to do, so I'll keep this one short again.

My priorities remain the same: a strong Belgian economy, a sustainable warmachine, useful projects for our players, B.D.S.M. education, and a country with the resources, tools and guidance it needs to function properly.

One thing I would like to focus on more this term is having the Government make better use of the people, experience and perspectives Belgians elected to Congress to represent them.

The President, Ministers and Departments need the freedom to do their jobs. Not every decision needs a lengthy debate, and some things need to happen behind closed doors. But when decisions, or NAPs, have major economic, military or strategic consequences for Belgian players, Congress should have the opportunity to be informed, discuss them, ask questions and provide input where useful. Where appropriate, Congress should also be able to give its approval or oppose an outcome before it is final. Congress should be part of Belgian decision-making, not simply the place where laws are rubber-stamped afterwards.

So let's make Congress a Congress again.

Beyond that, I'll continue doing what I've done throughout my previous terms: contribute where I can, support useful initiatives, ask questions when needed, and work with people across Belgium regardless of party or position.

Still willing to work. Still willing to listen and vote. Still hoping for you to fill in my box. Still convinced Belgium works best when we all work together. Still not burned out from politics yet.

Vote Pommelsmurf_Thijs. Vote De Centen Partij.

De_Nederbelg · DCP

Discord only, and proud of the savings

De_Nederbelg is so modern that he has skipped traditional media altogether and saved his money. But unlike the silent candidates, he did at least tell us what he stands for. We all know the dangers of not doing so: that is how we got our current president.

Dear Belgians,

Back to back MoE, so I think by now you all know what you are getting from me. Another month, another Congress election, and once again I am running for De Centen Partij.

My priorities remain simple: money, stability, results. Belgium needs a strong economy, reliable policies, and a Congress that actually gets things done.

After serving another term as Minister of Economy, I have gained a lot of new experience and also faced plenty of new obstacles along the way. As my term went on, I kept running into decisions where I simply did not have enough information or proof to confidently make the right choice. Because of that, my own WarEra tools kept expanding. And now I am armed with more information than ever, with the data to back up my choices and decisions.

No long speech this month. Volle stoem veurooët.

Vote for De_Nederbelg. Vote for De Centen Partij.

LodewijkJ-Bakker · MRW

Discord only, and back from the retirement home. Belgium's retirement homes appear to be emptying fast.

Dear Belgians,

Last month, we finally accomplished our endgoal: keeping Fr*nce off the map and under Belgian control, where it belongs. However, even on the first day of this new government we already gave up on our rightful Fr*nch territories.

Therefore, even though I vowed never to do this again, I am now ready to give up on my spot in the retirement home and guide Belgium in the correct direction from congress.

As a seasoned politician I know very well what is important and what not, and therefore I can make very clear promises. I will only interfere on the following 4 subjects:

1. Keeping Fr*nce under Belgian control
2. No PISS colour
3. No fucking NAPs
4. Minimal (or preferably abolished) taxes

If any of these would contradict each other, I will keep to the order on the list. On any unrelated discussion I vow not to interfere or cast any vote.

Whoever supports this, feel free to vote for me. Not because I want to, but because Belgium needs it.

LGB

Riverblade · BAP

Published in four languages: Dutch, French, German and English. Four times the effort, four times the time.

Fellow countrymen,

They say politics is dirty. That every handshake has a price and every promise an expiry date. The Belgian Anti-Corruption Party says: it can be different. It must be different.

Corruption? We'll put an end to it. The backroom deals, the brown envelopes, the cronyism that has decided over our heads for far too long: all a thing of the past. Transparency will be the rule, not the exception. Anyone who sells out the common good for personal gain will have to answer to us.

(A small footnote, in all honesty: the above naturally does not apply to me. A good leader simply needs a little room to manoeuvre. Think of it as a strategic reserve, in your interest, of course.)

But the real problem runs deeper, and it does not lie in Brussels. It lies beyond our borders.

How much longer will we let ourselves be dragged along? Time and again our alliance calls us away from the fights on our own soil. Our men, our resources, our attention, sacrificed for foreign ambitions while the Belgian cause waits. That is not an alliance. That is a chain.

Belgium first. Not out of hostility, but out of common sense. A country that will not defend its own house has no voice at the international table. We choose our own battles. We set our own priorities. And we act beyond the border only when it serves our interests, not those of some distant headquarters.

A vote for Riverblade is a vote for clean government, a strong Belgium, and a congressman who dares to say what others only dare to think.

Vote BAP. Vote for yourself. Vote for home.

The first anti-corruption platform in history to come with its own corruption clause. It is also the first candidate this month to question the Ghana strategy, so readers who just finished page 1 may want to compare notes.

Slosse_de_Kerel · Purple Reign

Candidate number 19, and refreshingly honest

Slosse_de_Kerel won't be writing an article, he told the Gazette, because writing simply isn't his thing. Fair enough: honesty is a rare campaign promise these days.

His reasons for running are refreshingly simple. He's there as mental support for Solis, and because nobody else in Purple Reign wanted to be a candidate. He doesn't quite know what to expect, but he promises to do his best.

In a race where some candidates promise beer, governors and football fields, a man who simply promises to show up and try may be the most believable candidate of all.

The following candidates have not yet told us what they stand for: AkimboPanda, PiratePiss and Sod75 (PISS); Birow, Rex_Ferrum and ExuTrioz (MRW); and Silvergerma, Karbonkel and Cool_Breeze (Achteruit). That is nine of nineteen. The pages of the Gazette remain open, and voters would love to know what they are voting for. Remember what happened last time.

#BelgianGazette #WallonieTerug #KeepGhana #Congress2026

Come and join a more functional Belgium and escape the reality that we call our home

Join today

Maybe we can even use this as our new anthem. You probably won't even have to unlearn the lyrics of the Brabançonne because 99% of you never bothered to learn it anyway

[verse]
United across languages
A country so unique
When you are feeling all alone
Your food is bland, your life is bleak

[chorus]
Come and join our awesome country
Come and defend our fries and beer
Come and spread our love for chocolate
When we mobilize, they fear

[verse]
Cause we may be small in number
But our damage outperforms
When we send our proud battalions
Even jets can't hold the wall

[chorus]
Come and join our awesome country
Come and defend our fries and beer
Come and spread our love for chocolate
When we mobilize, they fear

[verse]

Our in-game politics run smoother
Than their real-life counterpart
And if you weekly do your damage
They won't even tax your bank account

[chorus]
Come and join our awesome country
Come and defend our fries and beer
Come and spread our love for chocolate
When we mobilize, they fear

Just wanted to share :p