u/kabukimono1980

I (45M) am in a massive conflict with my family. Everyone is furious with me right now, and I need an objective outside perspective.

To give some background, I was severely abused as a kid, and nobody ever stepped in to protect me. Because of that, my instincts are on high alert when I see a child in distress.

I’ve been watching a family member, KB interact with my grand child, EM. From my perspective, KB completely ignores his kid. He sits and plays video games instead of watching him, expects everyone else in the house to parent him, and only steps in when it’s time for punishment.

Lately, EM has been screaming "no" and holding his arms up in a defensive posture when KB is around. To me, that is a massive red flag. I feel like EM is being both emotionally and physically abused, and it is incredibly triggering to watch. I refuse to keep my mouth shut when I see a kid in trouble because nobody spoke up for me when I was that age.

Things finally boiled over. Everyone has been on edge lately, especially after a tornado recently passed over the house. I lost my temper and completely went off on KB. I called him a piece of shit to his face. I didn't just call out his parenting; I also brought up the fact that he previously raped his wife in my home, and it feels like everyone in the family just sweeps it under the rug and ignores it.

Now, the whole family is angry with me. They are accusing me of overreacting, causing massive drama, and being completely out of line for going after him and bringing up the past.

I know I lost my cool and my delivery was incredibly harsh, but I feel like I’m the only one willing to speak the truth about who he is and protect this kid. Full disclosure KB is my wife's son from a prior marriage, we have not treated each others kids as anything but like our own since we've been together, and EM is like my best lil buddy at the old age of 2. I'm crushed they're fleeing the house because I lost it on him, but damn.

AITAH for calling him out the way I did, or is my family just defending a toxic situation?