[21F] Stuck in a cycle of bed rotting, overeating with PCOS, and feeling completely overwhelmed about the upcoming semester. How do I start changing?
I don’t even know how to start changing myself. I feel overweight, unattractive, not smart enough, and like no matter what I do, I can't lose weight or fat. I try taking different supplements, but I still can't stop myself from overeating. Today, I just couldn't help myself and kept eating sweets, carbs, and processed food all day. I know "how" to change in theory, but I don't know how to actually start. Instead, I just find myself "bed rotting" all day, staring at my laptop, or just playing with my cat.
On the outside, I look happy and act like nothing is wrong, but inside I am deeply insecure about everything. I hate seeing myself in photos, I hate how my clothes hug my body, and I'm insecure about my facial features.
I have a bit of time before the new college semester starts in August, and I desperately want to get out of this bad shape. On top of the upcoming semester, I have a major government/civil service exam to study for and an online certification course I'm supposed to be finishing. I used to be so eager and motivated about these things, but now I have zero energy. To make things worse, I haven't even come up with my thesis topic yet, and I feel like I'm completely in a daze.
I want to change, but the lack of motivation and the hormonal struggle of PCOS feels paralyzing. How do I break this cycle when even taking the first step feels impossible?