My dad wants to save his nephews through me. I don't know what to do.
Hello everyone, it's my first time posting and I really need advice.
I'm a second-generation european-born immigrant who was raised back in the homeland.
I'm currently focusing on my studies, but I started receiving suggestions related to marriage, especially when I moved back to europe, and I really don't know how to deal with it.
I find it easy to refuse and say no but no matter what I say, I cannot escape the conversation. the moment I start discussing my future plans for marriage, I get hit with suggestions from family like :
• "marry one of your cousins to save him from that miserable life"
• "marry one of them and when you bring him here, get a divorce"
• "if you wanna marry a stranger, make him pay to be brought here. if it is my nephew, don't ask for money, just do him a favour".
My dad acts civil the moment I strictly refuse and tell him I'm the one choosing, but I can sense he is unsatisfied. my dad is a nice responsible person, though he is kinda old fashioned.
what feels unreasonable is that he thinks if I choose my own partner, i will fall into a trap. This scares me the most because I already have a fear of marriage from constantly hearing about failed relationships.
- i totally sympathize with my cousins, but it is their lives, and they are responsible for them; I am not a hero to save them. In addition, I understand my dad only wants the best for his family and thinks I would settle down well if I chose one of them, it is like killing two birds with one stone for him. However, I hate the idea of being tangled up with relatives in the most precious relationship, which is marriage. I also cannot risk getting married to his nephews because my parents are separated and their families do not get along. I cant risk losing one side of my family for the other. Marrying into my fathers side feels like I would be distancing myself and cutting ties with my mother's family.
I'm soon turning eighteen, so as you can guess, I'm not thinking about getting married anytime soon, however, the unknown future is vague and unpredictable. I wanna know how to not get stressed out by my father's words, and stop being scared by the idea of marriage.
Thank you for reading, I appreciate it.