WIBTAH if I didn’t attend my cousin’s funeral?
I’m not entirely sure of the relation here, but I believe she’s my mother’s first cousin. She’s been loosely in my life over the years. Definitely saw her more often as a child, on the larger family gathering holidays, and once or twice socially, with my mother, as a young adult. The most recent time I can think of has been at least 10 years ago, maybe more? We never had a personal connection, never talked or anything outside of the family visits.
I did at one point have a relationship with her daughter and her wife. They’d invite me over, we’d talk and catch up, borrow things or help with things around the house, went out to dinner a few times. But it’s also been years since we’ve done any of that. I’d say 5, maybe more? The last time I remember them asking me to hang out was because they wanted tea on my mother, and despite a few smaller efforts to talk here and there, our relationship hasn’t been much more than an occasional liked post since then.
So here’s the rub: I’ve been no contact with my mother for a little over 5 years. I have zero intention of breaking that. And there’s a more than good chance that she’d be at the funeral. I could go and just try to avoid her. But even the thought of that puts me on edge. I could go to the viewing and hope it’s at a time when she wouldn’t be there, but she doesn’t drive so it’s not like I can scout her car in the parking lot. I do feel like the right thing to do is pay my respects, but idk if I can get past the anxiety. Given all that would I be the AH if I don’t go?
TLDR: WIBTAH if I don’t go to a distant cousin’s funeral because it would mean risking seeing my mother who I’m no contact with?