u/kayana_wer24

I genuinely don’t know where else to talk about this, and I’m hoping someone here has experienced something similar.
For context, I’m 15 and have been begging my mom for a cat for YEARS. I absolutely love cats, and I was so excited when she finally agreed. I told all my friends, hyped it up to everyone, bought everything he needed, and genuinely thought getting him would be one of the happiest moments of my life.
We adopted a 3-year-old male cat from a shelter about four days ago, and he’s honestly such a sweetheart. He’s affectionate, follows me around everywhere, loves attention, and hasn’t done anything to deserve how I’ve been feeling.
But ever since bringing him home, I’ve been experiencing so much anxiety and regret that I genuinely don’t know what to do.
I’ve been crying almost every day, had a panic attack while talking to my mom, and my appetite has decreased significantly. The weirdest part is that when I’m outside my apartment, I feel happy and normal again. But the second I come home, I get this horrible anxious feeling in my stomach.
I miss my old environment SO much.
Before adopting him, I could sit on my couch, relax, and enjoy having my own space. Now I feel like I constantly have to think about another living being. He follows me everywhere, always wants attention, and sometimes I just want to sit on my couch without having him right beside me.
Another HUGE issue for me is the litter and cleaning. I genuinely cannot stand the thought of cat litter being in my apartment, the smell, or feeling like things aren’t clean. I’ll clean everything, only for him to make another mess an hour later, and it feels never-ending. I know cleaning is part of owning a cat, but I didn’t expect it to affect me mentally this much.
I’m actually going to be assessed for anxiety and possibly OCD soon (not self-diagnosing), and this whole experience has made me realize how much changes to my environment can affect me.
My mom has been helping me, and she actually really likes the cat, but she works two jobs, so I’m the one home with him most of the time. I feel awful asking her to do more because she already works so hard. I also feel incredibly guilty because she spent so much money getting him, and I was the one who begged for him in the first place.
Here’s where I’m really struggling.
The shelter has a seven-day return window, meaning I only have THREE DAYS LEFT to decide.
Part of me imagines returning him and feeling this huge sense of relief. Having my old environment back, not constantly worrying about cleaning, and being able to relax in my own home again.
But then I look at him and start crying because I genuinely love him. I’m terrified that I’ll return him, immediately regret it, and spend months wishing I’d given myself more time.
I’m also embarrassed because I told EVERYONE I was getting a cat. I feel like people will judge me or think I’m irresponsible if I return him after making such a big deal about adopting him.
I feel so stuck because I don’t want to give up on him too early, but I’m also terrified of keeping him past the return window and realizing that I genuinely cannot handle having a cat long-term.
I know four days isn’t a long adjustment period, but unfortunately, I don’t have weeks to figure this out.
Has anyone experienced this level of anxiety or adoption regret, especially when the cat itself wasn’t doing anything wrong?
If you ended up returning or rehoming your cat, how did you feel afterward? Did you regret it, or did you eventually feel relieved and happier?
And if you decided to keep your cat, did that anxious feeling about your home and personal space eventually go away?
I’d really appreciate hearing from people who’ve experienced something similar, especially those who have actual updates about how things turned out. Please be kind. I already feel incredibly guilty about this, and I genuinely want what’s best for both me and my cat.