Concerned about my 7-year-old’s relationship with food & possible binge eating tendency
My 7-year-old already seems to have “food noise” and I feel completely stuck on how to handle it in a healthy way.
My daughter has technically been overweight since around age 4 and is now considered clinically obese, which honestly does worry us from a long-term health perspective. But even more than the weight itself, we are increasingly concerned about her relationship with food and what feels like an intense preoccupation with eating.
My husband and I both struggled with binge eating for most of our lives. Over the last few years, we’ve both built much healthier habits around movement and nutrition. Because of that history, we’re trying very hard not to pass unhealthy food dynamics onto our daughter.
The issue is that she already seems extremely preoccupied with food. If we’re not actively supervising, she will often eat far beyond what seems like normal hunger cues. One example was eating 4 large slices of pizza at an event when we weren’t around. She also makes comments like, “I can’t wait to be an adult so I can eat junk all the time.”
We do not talk about weight in our home. We try to focus on health, energy, hunger/fullness cues, balance, and neutral language around food. We allow treats and want her to feel like a normal kid, but at home we mostly keep nutritious foods around. The hard part is that it feels like if we don’t create some boundaries, she spirals into overeating very quickly.
She also has a history of GI issues and emotional regulation struggles, and we already have her in therapy for emotional support. Her pediatrician recently suggested an eating disorder outpatient program because she feels these could be early signs of binge eating tendencies, but there are almost no specialists for young children where we live.
I think part of what makes this so hard is that both my husband and I grew up with the opposite problem: unlimited access to food with very little guidance or structure. So now we’re constantly wondering:
- Are we helping by creating healthy structure?
- Or are we accidentally making food more emotionally charged/restricted?
I guess I’m just looking for insight from parents who have navigated something similar. What helped? What made things worse? How do you balance healthy boundaries without creating shame or obsession around food?
Thank you if you read all of this.