He slept with 3 of his friends
My (23F) boyfriend (22M) and I have been together for a year and a half. There has always been some tension for me around his past. I was his first serious relationship after a period where he had a lot of casual partners. He was my first sexual partner, while I was his 19th. That alone made me really insecure in the beginning, but I worked through it.
Before we started dating, I knew he’d slept with one of his friends (A) and A’s girlfriend. I accepted that and moved on.
We moved in together after about a month of dating. A couple of months later, his friend T moved in with us. We spent a lot of time with T and two other friends, L and Z, and eventually I started thinking of them as my friends too.
About two months ago, we were all hanging out except for Z. Out of nowhere, they started talking about how my boyfriend had also slept with Z not long before we got together. I was visibly shocked, but nobody really noticed and the conversation just kept going. Then it also came up that T had slept with my boyfriend too. At that point I realized the only person in that friend group he hadn’t slept with was L.
For context, my boyfriend’s previous relationship had ended only about three months before we got together, so there wasn’t much time between everything.
I’ve been trying not to let this bother me, but it does. Every time I’m around his friends, I’m reminded of it. I’ve never been insecure about my body before, but now I constantly compare myself. My boyfriend has never said anything negative about my appearance or our sex life, but I can’t shake the feeling that I’m just the latest person in a long line of people. His mom and friends all say he’s never been so ready to settle down with someone before me, and I believe them. But I was homeschooled, he’s my first boyfriend, and I don’t really have any relationship experience to compare this to. I don’t know if what I’m feeling is something people just get over or if it’s a sign of a bigger incompatibility.
I think what hurts the most isn’t even his past—it’s that I became close friends with these people before I knew that history existed. I feel blindsided, and I don’t know how to move past it. I feel like I can’t talk to anyone about it.