Casual racism & sexism in maledominated space (at teacher training program) I need support as an only racialized person speaking up!
I'm so sick & tired of defending my right to voice my thoughts & ideas in this space i'm at as a teacher to be. In our trainee group of \~15 ppl, there happen to be more men than women.
Some of those men dominate the space. I've also experienced racism & embarrasment by them.
Weird powerplay, where people told me i shouldnt message our teachers about neither of them showing up, until 15 minutes from the scheduled beginning of the meeting.
I kept writing the msg with my phone and asked them for reasoning, and the answers were stupid. I still didnt send the msg rightaway, which feels like a failure of my feminist practice.
The racist incident happened late last year. It was "handeled" as a conflict between two people, and "solutions" were made by our teachers & head teacher: basically let's pretend nothing happened. I was told i dont have to worry about this anymore, the teachers are taking care. "Dont comment each other's work during the rest of the semester" etc.
When he (the one that was racist towards me) broke the "solution" by giving plenty of comments during the first possible chance, a few weeks after the "conflict resolution meeting", the teacher did nothing.
Later i asked how were those solutions were supposed to be taken care of, i was told by the teacher, they answered there was no talk of it, but they will now remind the racist about it.
So i've had to sit with this insufferable racist asshole the rest of the semester, along with the other sexist and/or power horny idiots, who are becoming, out of all possible career choices, teachers.
So much minority stress already on & of course all the shitload of schoolwork. I really want to speak up to feel like i did at least something.
I'm planning on giving a small speach of this topic when my seminar work is being discussed next week. But i'm terrified of it.
I'm the only racialized person in the group, and i've been the only one speaking up when these idiots share their racist/sexist viewing & "jokes".
It's just so fucking hard that i simply havent had the energy to speak up on all of the horrids i hear and see in this group.