Playing Pretend
Hi there, I am having a hard time. An issue I keep running up against is that I feel like I’m just trying on self compassion affirmations, listening to self compassion breaks, practicing mindfulness, etc and it feels like it’s really not doing anything other than draining my energy. No matter what, self compassion just feels so extremely fake to me. It’s just nothing, meaningless words to me, like literally I don’t feel any different from doing it anymore, not that it was a strong feeling to begin with. I’m not sure if it’s just the fact that it seems similar to masking or lying to myself that it upsets me or if it’s related to childhood emotional neglect. I don’t feel any relief after naming, feeling, acknowledging what’s happening, etc. and I can’t access love, compassion, or kindness to myself and I’ve been crying every day.