u/klaus_suck_eggs

None of my friends will even come back to the game so I’m left playing killer and solo queue survivors and it’s a terrible experience both sides.

For killer i can have decent streak of games hell a 4k 50game streak type mood will get ruined when I face a bully squad where I’m getting double flash light saved and gen rushed with special part tool boxes all at once and when I started to just stop playing these games and letting them do the gens and open the gate they still bm like it’s some accomplishment as if I’m not outside smoking while your wasting your own time it’s actually sad when i realize these ppl have played dbd so long it’s taken over their actual lives

For solo queue survivors I literally have teammates hiding in lockers all game every game doing no gens, I once did 3.5 gens, unhooked 3 survivors and full healed them, had deliverance and unhooked myself after the killer got me down one time on a 10 min shack loop away for the 3 gen and the entire time that happened not one of my teammates worked a gen it’s infuriating and then the killers are bming too like its some big feat to get a 4k. I just played a nemesis who got all 3 of my teammates on death hooks and just stopped picking up. He wasn’t slugging he literally just got both zombies around the downed survivors and just sat and let zombies patrol the 3 downed survivors and let the 4th blind the zombies to get the survivors up then he’d insta down us or one of my teammates would get hit and downed by a zombie and this went on for 20 mins like the killer was trying to make a whole new game outta this like its not 11:30pm and I have work and tried to play one more game before bed

I’m writing this letter even tho I’ll never mail it but I can’t stop thinking of you. I think back to all the arguments and bad ever since we ended things trying to think of when things went wrong. The biggest problem we had was trust and you would full heartedly agree with that. The earliest I can remember trust being an issue of our 5 year relationship wasn’t year 3 or year 4 like we used to say towards the end of our relationship but it wasn’t it was around month 4 I think. We were still in our honey moon phase where just breathing the same air as you made life better. This day was very normal we went to school and after we hung out, we saw each other in the morning and everything was normal. Then after school we had plans to go to the mall and when we got to the car I could tell your mood was way off but mental health was a problem for both of us so I just assumed it was something like that or maybe you ran into your deranged ex at school and that caused you ptsd or something. when I asked at least 10x what was the matter and you refused to talk about it, I just focused on trying to cheer you up by being goofy bc that’s what I thought you liked about me. Instead you blew up at me in the mall called me being goofy annoying and then pulled out your phone to show me my old twitter account and said you had a problem with me replying to a tweet about a onlyfans girl and you said that it was like I cheated on you, this tweet was almost 2 years old way before we started dating and you didn’t care you still where upset. In the moment I just assumed you where insecure from your past relationship so I just tried to comfort you but in the back of my mind I thought it was crazy and had the idea that maybe our relationship wasn’t gonna be as good as it seemed but I decided to stick it through. If only I knew what you would do later on. After this day my personality shifted when I was with you , I felt I had to be more nonchalant and less of my goofy self, I tried drowning you in compliments and always made sure you knew your where the most beautiful woman to me and no one would ever have my eye except you, the thing is this was never reciprocated. You used that to your advantage so when you found out I had watched Katy Perry California girls music video that was almost 15 years old at that point on my YouTube account I’ve had since I was 10 so I could have watch that video when I was 10, you blew up again making a big deal out of it saying I was basically watching porn bc Katy had the appearance of being nude covered by cgi clouds you said it was an issue. Keep in mind you literally would drool over male artist and when I would try to draw the equivalent of that to Katy Perry you ran to your parents to get them to shame me for being jealous of a celebrity crush. After this it felt you didn’t care about my opinion and would just rope your parents in to any argument we had so I stopped trying to disagree with you and decided I’d live by the happy wife happy life moto as long as I was with you. All of this was here since year 1 of the relationship and I just wish I saw the signs this early how much heart ache if save myself and the embarrassment of what you did to me. You also never cared about my side of things. With us Going to a small school like we did made it hard that you had to see your deranged ex that did some fucked shit to you made it easy for you to isolate yourself from the people we went to school with but instead of trust me that my friends would love hanging out with you and we could make memories instead you told me that I could take pictures at graduation with any of my friends that I had to do photo shoots with you and your family but not once did you take photos with my family. Then when grad parties came around you didn’t even want me to throw one of my own and you didn’t let me go to any of my friends bc you refused to go socialize. This made me not want to go to your family functions just to show you how it felt and the first time I “blew off” a lunch with you and your grandma when I texted you saying I was sick and didn’t want to go, you showed up to my house came in uninvited and literally yelled at me for faking and threatened to break up with me if I didn’t go, I called that bluff and you didn’t end things but you sure as hell made me with you did with the amount of complaints I had to deal with from you over this for years. This led me to realize you knew not going to my families/friends event was something bothersome but you didn’t care. You used to use me as a scapegoat for all your failing too. When you couldn’t take the pressures of college you blamed me for not being at the same college as you saying you only could think of me cheating on you, mind you I spent these days working 12-16 hour shifts with my dad doing flooring installation and I would snap you throughout the entire day too so you would know what I was doing while you never snapped me only texts. You didn’t do this with just one college but 2 of them. I used to be your biggest supporter and you just stepped on that saying I was a ball and chain holding you back so instead of us breaking up, you made me move into your parents house. Every time I tried moving out you would do something like quit the job you where working, or saying your dad was gonna cut you off if you moved out and you didn’t want him to take the sports car he just bought you, literally choosing a fucking sports car over what I would want. And after you cheated I still let you convince me to stay as long as you blocked the guy. I did choose to stay instead of leaving like I should have but that’s only bc I decided to actually get my get bacj and cheated on you. This difference between us is I went 3 hours away to cheat and never talked to the girl again blocked her before I even left the hotel, you you cheated with the guy down the road that had been in your DMs our entire relationship after you told me he was blocked. Then after we both cheated I caught you. You blocked the guy in instagram and snap chat but not TikTok and Roblox of all things. When I confronted you, you though I was so dumb I’d believe a 20 year old didn’t know how to block people on social media not even acknowledging the actual problem of you keeping communications open with this guy who’s been trying to ruin our relationship since day 1 and you let him win. And thinking back to all this makes it hurt even more that not even an hour after we broke up I was blocked on everything I can’t even try to take you back if I wanted just tells me I was never the guy you loved just the guy you used as a scapegoat. But that in mind makes me so fucking happy that you failed at everything post high school, you failed at your dream of being in healthcare and will end up like your crazy ex’s mother working at a gas station while I’m making 6 figures by the time I’m 30 bc when we where still together your dad got me into the union he was a chairman for and I’m about to be an electrician with a retirement pension that’s on track to have over a million dollars when I hit 62. Our relationship I had to deal with all the pain and I still gained so much more from it that you. You are left with remembers of your own failures when you are left struggling when I left and I’m left reaping the benefits of dating you and I get to share that with someone who will love me and make the sacrifices for me you never would have thought about making and when I’m living the life we used to talk about with someone better than you I’ll still think about you but not the feelings I still embarrassingly feel of wanting to take you back even as I type this I still would take you back if you asked but I know that won’t happen instead when I’m 62 traveling the world with a million dollars in my pocket with my true loml I’ll think to you and how you chose a double cheeseburger from McDonalds with the guy down the road over a steak dinner with me