Don’t ignore the signs
The signs started to show these last 90 days. Her not picking up the phone when i would call from work. Large time gaps and always the next morning of her telling me she went straight to bed and thats why she didn’t call me at work when she got home. Yea night shift work can suck on a relationship. She detached from the kids and let me know by randomly telling me that my kids hated their step mom. I took a woman who loved with an innocent pure love and turned into the cold not caring at all woman I faced that last day of our marriage.
I regret every wrong thing I did. I miss her more than I can put words too. It seems every time I turn around I want to tell her about a new thing that has happened in my day only to come seconds later to the harsh reality that she doesn’t want to and never will want to hear about my day again. I don’t think anyone could regret as much as I regret now. I see everything I let slip past me and go unchecked as if somehow or someway a broken marriage was going to fix itself.
I should have put the extra time and work into us. I should have showed her that she made the right choice when she let me take her hand in marriage. God knows to this day I would take her back and show her just how sorry I am for all the mistakes and broken promises. My heart breaks knowing I had the power to incorporate change and make our union whole and I alone am the reason I am now living out of my truck. I love her so much and this is the hardest most hurtful thing i have ever had to endure. When she said the words “ I don’t love you anymore.” my entire universe faded to black. What makes this absolute agony is she is my best friend in the entire world and I alone let her down, I let my family down and I let god down because I didn’t do my part as a man and protect her heart.
I’ll never stop loving her, and I would take her back in a heartbeat and show her how I’ve learned these hard facts. Guys this is the lowest point a person can be. I can’t eat, I can’t sleep, I can’t function as a human how in the world do I go on from this? how in the world can i come back from the number 1 most regretful thing I have happened in my life. I miss her she was my rock, my partner, and the very best thing that ever happened to a loser guy like me. I know this wont be everyone’s cup of tea but please save the criticism I don’t need more negativity. I needed to get this out into the universe cause bottling this poison up inside is killing me.