Balancing my (28M) work and gym schedule with quality time for my wife (28F) after a conflict about our limited time together
My wife (28F) and I (28M) are from the Philippines. We have been together for around 4 years, are now married, and recently moved in together on May 1, 2026.
I usually leave home around 6:00 AM for work and get back around 6:30 PM. I eat the dinner she prepares, then I normally go to the gym around 7:30 PM and come home around 9:30 PM.
My wife is currently on two months of maternity leave following a miscarriage, so she is at home most of the day while I am at work.
Last night, we were talking in bed. She had been talking for quite a while, and it was already around 11:30 PM when I accidentally fell asleep while she was still talking.
She stopped talking and turned away from me. When I asked what was wrong, she explained that she feels we barely have time together anymore. She pointed out that I leave early for work, come home in the evening, eat, then leave again for the gym. By the time I come back, there are only a few hours left before we sleep.
She became very upset and said that from now on she would just stop talking to me after 10:00 PM so I could “sleep all I want.”
I kept apologizing that night and explained that I genuinely did not intend to fall asleep while she was talking. I was exhausted and did not realize I was drifting off.
During the argument, I also said that I thought it was understandable for me to be tired because I had been working the whole day while she was currently staying at home. I later realized that this probably sounded dismissive, especially because she is on leave because of our miscarriage and is still recovering physically and emotionally.
She was still upset the next morning, and I continued apologizing.
The incident made me realize that the bigger issue may be how little intentional time we actually spend together during weekdays. I do not want to stop exercising completely because going to the gym is important to me, but I also do not want my wife to feel that she only gets whatever time is left after work and the gym.
I would appreciate specific advice from couples who have dealt with similar schedules.
How can I realistically organize my weekday routine so that my wife and I have enough consistent quality time while I still maintain my gym routine?
Would it be better to shorten my workouts, go fewer days per week, go at a different time, or designate certain evenings entirely for us?
I would also appreciate advice on what I can do now, beyond repeatedly saying sorry, to show her that I understand what she was actually upset about and make her feel more prioritized.
TL;DR: My wife (28F) and I (28M) have limited weekday time together because I leave for work around 6:00 AM, get home around 6:30 PM, and usually go to the gym from 7:30–9:30 PM. She is currently on maternity leave after a miscarriage. I accidentally fell asleep while she was talking to me around 11:30 PM, and she told me the bigger problem is that we already barely have time together. I apologized repeatedly, but I now want specific advice on how to restructure my work/gym routine to create more consistent quality time with my wife and what actions I can take beyond apologizing.