r/relationship_advicePH

saw my [f20] ex [m21] the other day lol while walking around a mall here in region 4. we even made eye contact pa before walking away. praying to god that he doesnt see this, dko alam if nagrreddit siya lol, sana hindi.

i thought na im at peace na w everything that happened kasi its been like a year between us pero the guilt of what i feel like i did incorrectly is still eating me inside. parang nalabas lahat sa hukay lahat ng nararamdamam ko after seeing him again.

we dated for almost a year tas broke up around last year. we talked openly naman after everything and i said sorry and how grateful i was for him pero dko alam bakit parang i still feel so regretful??

genuinely thought na he wouldnt be there pero binigo ako ni lord kasi i thought na i would never see him again like in those tiktoks na "if youre not meant to see each other again, you wont cross paths again, no matter how close you are to each other"

how to not stay and feel stuck after seeing him again despite living/studying in the same city? what can i do to eventually cope with these feelings?

My Gf and i Have been dating for 5 months now

i need specific advice on improving how I respond when my girlfriend communicates her needs and feelings.

Recently, she told me that she repeatedly communicates what she needs from me, but I sometimes decide for myself what should be enough instead of actually listening. She feels unheard and taken for granted.

I’m very solution-oriented. When she tells me something hurt her, my instinct is usually to explain my intentions, defend myself, or immediately find a solution instead of actually sitting with what she’s feeling.

I also have a history of questionable interactions with a female coworker, which damaged her trust. I’ve sometimes focused on “wala naman akong ginawang cheating” instead of understanding why my behavior still hurt her.

She told me:
“You kept deciding for both of us when I repeatedly communicated naman.”

When I asked why she compared me to other people, she responded:

“It’s not comparison. It’s bare minimum.”
That made me seriously reflect on how I approach conflict.

I want advice on what specific behaviors I should change when my partner communicates a need, and how I can demonstrate change through actions rather than repeatedly apologizing.

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Long post ahead please bear with me. Please do not post this outside of reddit for privacy.

My BF [M33] and I [F31] have been together for 10 years. We met when I was 21, and for most of our relationship I genuinely thought we would eventually get married. We aren't engaged yet, and lately I've started questioning whether I even want to get there.

I don't think there is one huge thing wrong with our relationship. It's more like a bunch of smaller things have been piling up, and I'm starting to feel increasingly resentful and disconnected from him.

The biggest issue right now is intimacy.

When we first got together, we had sex around 4 times a week. After moving in together (we live in Makati), it dropped to around twice a week, which I was still perfectly happy with. Then I went through several years of depression and was on antidepressants, antipsychotics, and sleeping medication. My libido basically disappeared during that period.

I eventually came off the medication with my therapist's approval, and my libido returned about a year later. The problem is that my BF's apparently hasn't.

We've had sex only twice this year. Whenever I initiate, it's usually "I'm too tired," "I'm too full," "I'm stressed," or "I'm not in the mood." I completely respect that he can say no to sex, and I don't want him to ever feel obligated to have sex with me. But I'm also becoming very sexually frustrated and lonely.

I ended up buying sex toys so I could take care of myself, and when my BF found them, he was hurt that I had them, so I threw them away. He doesn't seem particularly interested in masturbating either.

At the same time, he works long hours and is genuinely stressed by his job, so I don't want to dismiss that. We both lost around 35 lbs this year and have become more active, and I've noticed that I have significantly more energy and a much stronger libido than I used to.

Then there's the household stuff.

I recently spent three weeks on vacation in Europe. When I came back, I found that my BF hadn't vacuumed or swept around, the sheets and pillowcases hadn't been changed, the duvet cover hadn't been changed, and his clean laundry which had been delivered a weekago, was still sitting in the plastic because he hadn't put it away. When we first started dating, he would clean his place from top to bottom. What has changed?

I know these things sound trivial individually. They're not a huge deal to me if someone occasionally has a messy week. But I'm starting to feel like I have to notice, remind, and manage everything, and I absolutely do not want to become the person who parents their partner.

What makes it worse is that he'll tell me he's too tired from work to do these things, but he can spend four hours gaming. It's just me and him here and our dogs, so when I ask him to walk them, he'll just say he'll do it later. I already knew what "later" probably meant.

I don't actually have a problem with him gaming. I think people deserve hobbies and downtime. What bothers me is feeling like chores and responsibilities are always what gets sacrificed when he has limited energy, while gaming somehow gets prioritized.

And I think this is starting to affect how attracted I feel toward him. Four hours of gaming while basic responsibilities are being ignored genuinely gives me the "ick." I'm starting to see him less as a partner and more as someone I have to remind to do things, and that's frightening to me. And it's making me so frustrated because I haven't had sex and I can't initiate because he literally gives me the ick. I'm not gonna cheat on him because I love him so now I'm stuck on this place waiting for him to get there.

He's not abusive. He's not a bad person. He works hard, and I know he's stressed. I don't want to reduce him to his worst habits. We've also been together for so long that walking away feels enormous.

But I'm starting to wonder whether these aren't isolated problems anymore.

We have a significant libido mismatch. I'm frustrated about household responsibility. I'm becoming resentful about gaming. I'm questioning marriage. And I'm scared that if we get married, these problems won't magically disappear—they'll just become harder to work on.

At the same time, I don't know if I'm expecting too much.

Is this a normal rough patch in a long-term relationship that can be worked through? Or am I seeing signs of a deeper incompatibility?

Should I be pushing for couples therapy before we even consider getting engaged? Should I stop focusing on individual incidents and look at the overall pattern?

Most importantly, how do you know when you're experiencing normal relationship frustration versus when you've stayed in a relationship long enough that resentment and incompatibility have become the relationship itself?

I'd really appreciate advice from people who have been in long-term relationships, especially those who went through a period where they seriously questioned whether they should stay and eventually worked it out—or decided they shouldn't.

TLDR: My BF and I have been together for 10 years, and I'm starting to question our compatibility. Our sex life has dropped to about twice a year, and I feel like I'm carrying more of the mental/household responsibility while he prioritizes work and gaming. I love him and don't think he's a bad partner, but I'm becoming resentful and less attracted to him.

My wife (28F) and I (28M) are from the Philippines. We have been together for around 4 years, are now married, and recently moved in together on May 1, 2026.

I usually leave home around 6:00 AM for work and get back around 6:30 PM. I eat the dinner she prepares, then I normally go to the gym around 7:30 PM and come home around 9:30 PM.

My wife is currently on two months of maternity leave following a miscarriage, so she is at home most of the day while I am at work.

Last night, we were talking in bed. She had been talking for quite a while, and it was already around 11:30 PM when I accidentally fell asleep while she was still talking.

She stopped talking and turned away from me. When I asked what was wrong, she explained that she feels we barely have time together anymore. She pointed out that I leave early for work, come home in the evening, eat, then leave again for the gym. By the time I come back, there are only a few hours left before we sleep.

She became very upset and said that from now on she would just stop talking to me after 10:00 PM so I could “sleep all I want.”

I kept apologizing that night and explained that I genuinely did not intend to fall asleep while she was talking. I was exhausted and did not realize I was drifting off.

During the argument, I also said that I thought it was understandable for me to be tired because I had been working the whole day while she was currently staying at home. I later realized that this probably sounded dismissive, especially because she is on leave because of our miscarriage and is still recovering physically and emotionally.

She was still upset the next morning, and I continued apologizing.

The incident made me realize that the bigger issue may be how little intentional time we actually spend together during weekdays. I do not want to stop exercising completely because going to the gym is important to me, but I also do not want my wife to feel that she only gets whatever time is left after work and the gym.

I would appreciate specific advice from couples who have dealt with similar schedules.

How can I realistically organize my weekday routine so that my wife and I have enough consistent quality time while I still maintain my gym routine?

Would it be better to shorten my workouts, go fewer days per week, go at a different time, or designate certain evenings entirely for us?

I would also appreciate advice on what I can do now, beyond repeatedly saying sorry, to show her that I understand what she was actually upset about and make her feel more prioritized.

TL;DR: My wife (28F) and I (28M) have limited weekday time together because I leave for work around 6:00 AM, get home around 6:30 PM, and usually go to the gym from 7:30–9:30 PM. She is currently on maternity leave after a miscarriage. I accidentally fell asleep while she was talking to me around 11:30 PM, and she told me the bigger problem is that we already barely have time together. I apologized repeatedly, but I now want specific advice on how to restructure my work/gym routine to create more consistent quality time with my wife and what actions I can take beyond apologizing.

So I matched this girl on a dating app, almost the same as everything kami. Only been talking for 3 weeks but already told her my intentions. Only issue is we're LDR, I'm in Commonwealth, QC. She's near Clark Mall, pampanga.she also wants to do dates 1-2 times per week which is a bit impossible due to the nature of my work. Should I move in somewhere closer or sa Clark nlng to see her almost every day or puntahan nlng every weekend?

Would love your thoughts for people who also do LDR.