(22M) Girlfriend (25F) feels unheard and taken for granted after repeatedly communicating her needs/ Laguna
My Gf and i Have been dating for 5 months now
i need specific advice on improving how I respond when my girlfriend communicates her needs and feelings.
Recently, she told me that she repeatedly communicates what she needs from me, but I sometimes decide for myself what should be enough instead of actually listening. She feels unheard and taken for granted.
I’m very solution-oriented. When she tells me something hurt her, my instinct is usually to explain my intentions, defend myself, or immediately find a solution instead of actually sitting with what she’s feeling.
I also have a history of questionable interactions with a female coworker, which damaged her trust. I’ve sometimes focused on “wala naman akong ginawang cheating” instead of understanding why my behavior still hurt her.
She told me:
“You kept deciding for both of us when I repeatedly communicated naman.”
When I asked why she compared me to other people, she responded:
“It’s not comparison. It’s bare minimum.”
That made me seriously reflect on how I approach conflict.
I want advice on what specific behaviors I should change when my partner communicates a need, and how I can demonstrate change through actions rather than repeatedly apologizing.