Enby preschooler
Hi all! I'm wondering if anyone has kids who have come out as non-binary at a very young age. My kid is 3.5, and lately has expressed that they are non-binary. They've specifically said they were non-binary once when asked their gender, and yesterday while reading a book about gender, they told me that they prefer they/them pronouns.
Some background on my kid: they were assigned male at birth, but we haven't pushed any gender norms on them beyond using gendered pronouns. We purposefully gave them a non-gendered name, that way their name wouldn't cause any kind of dysphoria. Both of their preschool teachers (as well as the program director) are non-binary, so they have more understanding of what it means to be enby than many other children their age. While they have some typical "boy" interests (mostly around vehicles), they are otherwise not super cis presenting. Their favorite colors are pink and purple, they enjoy wearing nail polish, they sometimes wear skirts/dresses, and they prefer to keep their hair long.
My husband and I are both cis, but neither of us are super gender conforming. On my side of the family, there's a good deal of both neurodivergence and connective tissue issues- I know that people who are ND and hypermobile are much more likely to be gender queer. I personally am hypermobile and am diagnosed with ADHD, so there's a decent chance that my kid will eventually be diagnosed with one or both of those.
My kid's grandparents may not be super understanding about them exploring their gender. I think my in-laws will get past it easier than my parents will, but I know my dad in particular is going to think that I'm "forcing" this on them. For now, I plan on telling my dad that we're going to be using they/he pronouns for my kid, as they haven't specifically told me that they don't like he/him pronouns. Does this sound like a good way to transition my dad into being more accepting? What else would you recommend? My dad has said that he would still love and support any of his grandkids if they were trans or enby, but I don't think he understands that kids can know their gender this young.
Also, if anyone has any book recommendations we would definitely be on board! We just got a copy of "Being You: A First Conversation About Gender", which led to my kid telling me that they prefer they/them pronouns. I also realize that they haven't given me a ton of direction on their gender yet- we plan on just taking it day by day and seeing where things go. As far as parenting goes, we aren't planning on changing anything beyond the pronouns we use for our kiddo. My kid's nanny actually has a former nanny kid who came out as trans when they were around my kid's age, so luckily she's very well versed in this.