MDMA journeys have transformed my inner world...questions about dosing frequency
I started psychedelic assisted therapy at the beginning of this year. It has completely changed my inner world for the better. I did my first session with MDMA in January and it relieved me of many of the PTSD symptoms that have been controlling my life for years.
The first session re-tuned my nervous system—it's been so incredibly powerful to not jump out of my skin when I hear a loud noise or feel a "weight" that drops in my chest when a car swerves toward mine. The medicine covered me in loving-safety and gave me a new emotional baseline as a guide/reference point.
I feel so so so so grateful for getting to have this experience. For months not a today went by that I didn't feel totally overcome with gratitude. I knew I didn't have to suffer so much! Life could been more fun—I could explore more and take more healthy risks with an open, brave, courageous heart that wasn't being crow-barred shut with PTSD and all the traumas of the past looming around my spirit.
After my first session I started microdosing psilocybin. The safety that the first MDMA session gave me revealed the massive amount of shame that I have been carrying around and the psilocybin reallllly brought it to the surface. It was so strong that I backed off the psilocybin till I was stable and then resumed. So when I was preparing for my second MDMA session my intent was to work with my shame and guilt.
The second session was about 4 months after the first one, which felt like a great rhythm. In my second session my guide gave me MDMA and then Psilocybin. WOW! I started out this journey quite chatty, but when the MDMA came on I got quiet and just enjoyed regulated my body with deep breathing. Breathe has become an important tool and theme as a result from my journey work. Then I drank psilocybin tea...holy shit. I was transported into a storm in the ocean with my shame and guilt. There is almost no way to explain what this was like, but it was tough and not in a bad way. The MDMA gave me a safe enough base to explore the tumultuous, black oceanic storm of my own shame. I came out of this journey with a profound sense of calm that was different than the first. I accepted my shame self as just part of me and had a vision of these two parts of me merging. I experienced wholeness and integration in a way that I don't think I ever have. It helped heal a lot of family wounding between my parents and I.
I just have two say that these two journeys have changed my life forever. There has been a natural expansion and subsequent contraction after each journey, which I think is normal/to be expected. I have done a lot of integration work and plan on doing more journeys with my therapist, because they have been so deeply transformational. The 'work' continues!
My questions to the group is: Is there any scientific literature that explicitly states how long a person should wait between MDMA journeys? I hear different things from different people and I'm wondering if there are any definitive neurological/cognitive findings that suggest an appropriate break between sessions. My next journey will be over 5 months from my second journey and I'd like to do this about once a quarter, but want to be safe and responsible to my health.
TLDR: How long should you wait between MDMA sessions?
Thanks for reading. I hope everyone suffering can experience the wide, deep sweeping love and safety that MDMA has provided me. The healing process has not been easy, it's been really tough actually, but totally worth it. Sending you all love!