Back to Human
First time sharing here 👋🏻. I just joined the group a few days ago and I want to say how much I appreciate everyone’s advice and honesty. I was told I have PMDD about 3 years ago (now 39), but didn’t understand really what that meant until recently. I could go on and on about my story, but right now I just want to share that I finally realized (today) why basically half of the month (for years… probably since I was about 13), I couldn’t find the energy, motivation, want, determination to get ready for the day. Meaning shower, blow dry hair, put on makeup, not work from my bed. It was PMDD the whole time.
I will be starting to bleed today and today I woke up feeling like a human again. My brain turned on and I could plan out in my head what I needed to do today. I showered, washed and dried my hair, and put on a bit of natural looking makeup…I don’t have any plans or anywhere to go…but this feels…like me. I can look in the mirror and say this is you and you are happy with yourself. But just yesterday and the 9 days before that, I hated myself, had suicidal thoughts, extreme fatigue in my body that felt like all the cells in my body just ran a marathon.
At this point in my life I can finally understand why it is so hard for me to have consistency in anything I did. Two weeks of the month I am Human and the other two weeks I am a monster with no will to do anything. And the only reason I feel like I can post something today is because I have the energy to think and write. I am grateful to be back to human today. Gotta take the wins when we can, right?