Has anyone ever felt like they would regret both options?
I’m a 26 F going on 27 this year, and I know that I met my person. The thing is as more as time pass, I am deeply afraid of motherhood but also deeply afraid of not enjoying the rest of my years being childfree as well.
Firstly I have concerns about everything. I’m in school for Medical Lab Science, so I worry about finances and not being able to afford what I desire after the baby is here. Childbirth scares me because maternal mortality is high for black women and that level of pain and being close to death is an uncomfortable reality. I’m socialized as an only child (half siblings through father), with older parents, so I feel like my upbringing has made me feel a little different about motherhood. I think it comes from being alone a lot and it being just us. I’m introverted and showing up when I’m tired, planning events and things to do, and teaching a child is kind of scary to me. Then there’s the world, its future, and the kid possibly being a disappointment to us.
But the other side doesn’t look all that great to me either. I would be cool with having a lot of money to spend on myself for vacations, naps, hobbies, etc. But it seems like something will be missing after that. I don’t think a baby solves that void for everyone, but it does for most. I’m hoping time will tell and this will be easier to figure out by 35 lol.
Tldr; Just wonder if it’s normal to be ambivalent about both sides and never having a true desire for parenthood.