it's not fair
Losing our baby unfairly has made this a very difficult week for my husband and me. It's not fair to lose her and not be able to do anything. It wasn't fair to see her bedridden in intensive care after birth, it wasn't fair to know and see the terrible state she ended up in because of him, it wasn't fair that she had to suffer so much. My husband and I try not to focus on the bad things, although they're still there and resurface sometimes. We are proud that she let us get to know her and be with her, not in the best way, but that she fought for almost a whole month and tried with all her might to get better, and she let us be with her until the very last moment. But I feel like I'm falling apart sometimes. I have so many worries and thoughts about our lives because it's not easy to take on so much emotionally and financially. I'm frustrated and desperate because, due to the difficulties, we haven't had money for a lawyer, and I've tried to sell my valuables, but it's not working out. I know she won't bring her back, but I'll make sure this shit doesn't happen to anyone else. Just like it happened to us, a family that eagerly awaited her healthy arrival, just as we saw her throughout our pregnancy. It's unfair that our baby had to pay with her life for the malpractice of these horrible people.
I hope I can find the strength, from wherever I can, to keep going, and that we can afford a lawyer who will do what's fair for her.