Wrote a prose poem that’s a bit inspired by and exploring Cringe’s mentioning of narcissism in self loathing. Cringe is probably the video I think about most also largely tbh talked about how the internet hates disabled/mentally ill people
CW: extreme ableism, needles, and details about blood donation
DONATION
I think about this every time I let a syringe be inserted inside my left arm,
allowing a pint of myself to be rid of
and placed into a sterile bag
for someone else that needs it to maintain their corporeal self.
When I was 13, I wanted to try and accept this thing about me.
So I guess I wanted to learn more.
Ended up watching a video
of an autistic kid having a meltdown.
There was a comment venting about an unpleasant experience they had
with an autistic person they knew,
which made them conclude that
autistic people are animals and
their only use is organ donation.
It had a few likes.
I think about this all the time when I abstain from another tattoo,
trying to not go broke,
Attending The Financial Audit sermons,
When I keep my flesh barer for longer,
I also have more opportunities to give away a pint of myself more often.
My blood type’s B positive,
which seems ironic given at least some of my motives
that leave me penitent about my narcissism
even in self loathing
that’s never fully compelled me enough to not drink long enough
to fully become my apparent purpose in life.
Would I have been any kind of donor if I never read that comment?