u/lattefeetdaily_

Where have you had luck finding vintage Coach bags? Last week was my first time going to an estate sale, but I think I arrived too late and there wasn’t anything I liked. I’ve been to a few thrift stores too, but I haven’t had much luck. Right now I’m thinking about going to the Goodwill Outlet in the next few days, so if you have any tips, they’re welcome haha.

I’m a foreign student living in the U.S. and honestly I think my relationship is breaking me emotionally, even though part of me still loves him.

I moved here under a student status, but also under promises of love, building a future together, marriage, and eventually a family. We’ve been together 4 years and lived together for almost half of that.

Our relationship has never been perfect, but before we lived together we spent weeks apart sometimes, and I think that distance softened a lot of our problems. These last months though, I feel like my love has slowly disappeared. We’ve had some really painful arguments, but the one that changed me the most was when he told me he wasn’t sure if he wanted to marry me anymore.

After hearing that, I started asking myself: then where is this relationship even going?

There have also been “jokes” where he says things like “if you want to be my wife…” and even if he says it jokingly, it makes me feel like I have to keep proving myself to deserve him. But honestly… if we’re talking about “the prize,” I’m a 30 year old woman trying to rebuild her life in another country and another language. I work hard every day to improve myself. I’m intelligent, funny, loyal, and I genuinely try to help the people I love.

I honestly feel like I already gave everything I had:
my time,
my sacrifice,
leaving my family and friends,
even helping him with my credit.

And somehow it still feels like none of it has been enough.

Right now I’m also in a vulnerable position because I can’t legally work yet, I’m financially dependent, and I can’t freely leave the country because of my immigration situation. We also have two dogs that I love deeply and take care of every day, and whenever I’ve tried to leave before, he says I’ll never see them again.

On top of that, his ex still messages him and he responds. He tells her he loves her, and honestly that makes me feel like I’m just some cheap consolation prize.

I think deep down I know leaving is probably the healthiest thing for me, but I feel terrified. Terrified of starting over, of being alone, of losing the dogs, of losing stability, and honestly of realizing I built my whole life around someone who maybe was never fully sure about me.

How did you find the strength to finally leave?

I’m currently studying English in the U.S. on F-1 status after a change of status from B2 to F1 was approved inside the U.S. I’ve maintained status, never worked illegally, and have a clean immigration history.

I finally have a 2 month school break and part of me wants to use this opportunity to go to Mexico and apply for my F-1 visa stamp so I can finally visit my family after being away for almost a year.

At the same time, I’m wondering if it might be smarter to wait longer. My school allows vacations after every 3 terms, so I could also wait until I have spent more time studying before trying the consular process.

Has anyone here been in a similar situation? Especially ESL/language school students who did COS first and later went for stamping abroad. I’d really appreciate honest experiences or advice.