Is what my dad doing unfair? Need unbiased opinions!
I need some outside opinions — is what my dad is doing fair?
I’m looking for completely honest and unbiased opinions because I’m having a hard time figuring out whether I’m being unreasonable or whether this situation has genuinely become unfair.
My grandmother passed away, and the house has become tied up in her estate and probate. This is the home I grew up in, and my fiancé and I have put a significant amount of time, money, and work into the house because we believed we were going to eventually buy it and make it our home.
To understand why this situation is so upsetting, you have to understand the condition of the house when we started.
This was essentially a full gut renovation. The house needed extensive work, including plumbing, permitting, gas work, electrical work, and other major renovations. There was also a flood, and the basement had significant mold that needed to be dealt with.
Aesthetically, the house was basically stuck in another era — pink kitchen, pink bathroom, orange carpeting, wood paneling, and the whole nine yards. It needed a tremendous amount of work to become the house it is today.
My fiancé and I put a significant amount of our own money, time, labor, and effort into renovating and improving the property. We did this because we weren’t treating it like a temporary rental. We genuinely believed we were investing in a home we were eventually going to own.
Originally, my dad offered to sell the house to us for $300,000.
There were unpaid property taxes, and my dad had not been keeping up with them. We discussed the situation, and the price was increased to $350,000 to account for the back taxes.
We agreed to the $350,000.
That was the price we understood we were going to purchase the house for, and we planned our finances and future around that agreement.
Now, however, my dad is saying the price needs to be $550,000 — $200,000 more than what we had agreed to.
The reason the situation has changed is because my aunts have now become involved. From my understanding, they want $100,000, even though they also owe my dad money. My dad does not want to go to court or go through the probate process because he wants to avoid the time, expense, and conflict involved.
What makes this even more difficult is that my aunts became involved after the house had already been substantially renovated.
From my perspective, they are now seeing a property that has been completely transformed and is worth significantly more than it was when we started. There have even been discussions about kicking me and my cousins out of the house, despite the fact that we have been living there and have invested significant time and money into the property.
That is one of the reasons this feels so incredibly unfair to me. I feel like we took on the risk, expense, labor, and stress of turning this house around, and now that the property is significantly nicer and more valuable, other family members are becoming involved and the terms are changing.
I understand that probate and family disputes can be complicated. I understand my dad has his own financial concerns, and I understand that my aunts may have their own claims regarding the estate.
But what I’m struggling with is:
Why should the financial consequences of my dad not wanting to go through probate become my responsibility?
I agreed to purchase the house for $350,000 after the back taxes were accounted for. I did not agree to pay $550,000 because other family members now want money or because my dad doesn’t want to pursue the legal process necessary to settle the estate.
There is also the rent situation.
For a period of time, my dad increased my rent to $2,500 per month, which I felt was unfair given the circumstances. I continued paying it because I didn’t want to create an even bigger family conflict and because I believed we were ultimately working toward purchasing the house.
I have also paid utilities and contributed to the upkeep, repairs, and improvements of the property.
So from my perspective, I have been paying to live there while simultaneously putting significant money and labor into transforming the property.
And this wasn’t a minor renovation.
We took a house with major plumbing and gas issues, permitting needs, a flood, mold in the basement, an outdated pink kitchen and bathroom, orange carpeting, paneling, and extensive other problems — and turned it into a completely different home.
The house is now worth approximately $700,000–$750,000, which I understand is a significant amount of money. I’m not expecting my dad to simply give me a $750,000 house.
But there was an agreed-upon purchase price of $350,000, after specifically discussing the unpaid taxes. We then invested heavily into the property based on the understanding that we were working toward owning it.
Now I’m being asked to pay $550,000, which is $200,000 more than what we agreed upon.
This is also extremely emotional for me because this is my childhood home. My fiancé and I have been building our life around the belief that this would eventually be our home. We have put so much into it because we thought we were investing in our future.
I genuinely want outside opinions, even if people disagree with me.
Am I being unreasonable for feeling that $550,000 is unfair?
Should the agreed-upon $350,000 price still matter?
Is it fair for my dad to increase the price by $200,000 because my aunts want $100,000?
Should the fact that my aunts allegedly owe my dad money be considered?
Is it reasonable to feel that my dad’s decision not to go through probate should not become my financial responsibility?
Should the rent I’ve paid, including the months I was paying $2,500, be considered?
Should the significant money, labor, renovations, repairs, and improvements my fiancé and I put into the property be considered?
Does the fact that the property was substantially renovated before my aunts became involved change how you view the situation?
Is it reasonable for my dad or other family members to expect us to leave after we invested so much into the property based on the understanding that we would eventually purchase it?
If you were in my position, would you continue trying to buy the house or walk away?
I’m not looking for people to automatically take my side. I genuinely want to know how an outside person would look at this situation and whether you think my dad’s actions are fair.