r/InheritanceDrama

My family is fighting over a future inheritance situation and I genuinely want outside opinions.

A mother with 4 daughters owns a house that was built over the years with money from 3 of the daughters. The 4th daughter contributed much less financially and admits that herself.

The mother now wants to leave the house equally to all 4 daughters.

Two of the daughters think that’s unfair and think it should be more proportional, something like:

- 30%

- 30%

- 30%

- 10%

Their argument is:

“If 3 daughters financially carried the construction and upkeep of the house for years, why should someone who contributed very little inherit the same amount?”

But here’s where it gets complicated.

One of the daughters arguing for the proportional split cleans houses for a living and still sent money consistently while trying to save money for her future home.

Another daughter who contributed a lot lives in a house with mold issues and an outdated kitchen from the 70s because she prioritized sending money to her mother instead of fixing her own home.

The third contributing daughter disagrees with the proportional split entirely. She says:

“If some daughters were more financially successful or able to give more, that doesn’t mean the other deserve less inheritance. Mom should divide it however she wants.”

The daughter who contributed the least is single and has 5 working children. She did help her husband financially at one point by sending money for HIS house in Mexico, and she also owns land with her kids where they’re building. She feels attacked and judged by the other sisters for even bringing this issue up.

What do you think is actually fair here?

Hi guys.
Pretty simple one hopefully. My dad passed and no houses cars etc. he left no will, as it was pretty sudden m.
just a sum in a bank (not a large sum) I have filled the probate around a month ago for my mother. It was granted around a week later. All relevant documents were sent to the bank they are happy with.
How long before my mother will be allowed the money? (No other family involved)

Thank you!

Needed to make a throwaway excuse the new account, shaking typing this bc i feel like my entire family is turning against me over something completely unfair.

So my grandma passed away two years ago and she left me (26f) her vintage diamond engagement ring. It’s absolutely gorgeous and meant the world to me bc me and her were super close. She’s explicitly put it in her will that it goes to ME.

Now my brother Leo (30m) just told the family he’s planning to propose to his gf of 9 months. The problem is Leo is terrible with money and basically broke. My mom called me yesterday and asked if I would "gift" my grandmas ring to Leo so he can propose with a family heirloom and save money. I told her absolutely not. first of all, it’s MY ring that grandma wanted me to have. second of all, he’s been with this girl for less than a year.

My mom got furious and I mean she blew up. She said i’m being selfish and hoarding it since i’m already engaged to my fiancé and he already bought me a ring. I told her I plan to wear it on my other hand and keep it for my children. Now Leo is texting me saying i’m ruining his life and his gf deserves a nice ring, and my mom just dropped a bomb saying if i don't hand the ring over by Sunday, she and my dad are pulling their financial contribution from my wedding next summer and won’t even attend. Stuck because despite how angry I am and how unreasonable they’re being I don’t wanna lose my family 😭

Location: San Antonio, Texas
I am listed as an “heir” to the defendant who died and stopped making payments on their mortgage, and now the mortgage company is suing my mother and myself along with other people that we do not know. The only thing we have in common was my maiden name. We have no relations to the person who died or to the defendants family by blood or marriage so we don’t know how our names got put into this lawsuit. Do y’all have any advice as to what to do? I have 20 days to reply to the citation. Help is greatly appreciated!

My spouse is 1 of 3 children. When they were still in school, they lost their mother to cancer (nearly 30 years ago).

Their father met a woman shortly after, and they lived together for 15 years before splitting up. That woman ran a hair salon from the house and wanted a form of alimony/settlement since it was his house, she was the one leaving; he ended up giving her 5k. While my spouse and their siblings were outraged at that, I honestly didn’t see the issue since she had a valid point—she was there a long while, and it was going to directly impact her business. After this, he dated a few others before settling with someone; they weren’t dating very long before she moved in (from another province), and were together barely 9 years. She was a widow, married before and seemed to be fairly wealthy; never had children she told us.

Sadly, my FIL passed away (unexpectedly, but he was approaching 80 so not shocking). Turns out, a year & a half before, the executor of his estate changed from the oldest sibling to this woman, who was now also an equal beneficiary of his estate AND the sole recipient of what remained of his pension...I found this odd, but it isn’t my immediate family so I stayed out of it.

As per his wishes, there was no funeral. It took nearly 2 weeks to post the obituary. he’d passed just before the holidays, and when his ashes were ready, she told everyone after she collected them from the funeral home that she kept them with her all day while she went shopping, eventually buying herself some jewelry…as a gift from him…in addition to stating she regularly had screaming fits when alone because of her grief…

Over the holidays, we went to visit and reminisce about my FIL. The house was fully decked out in Xmas decor, and my FIL’s ashes? On the floor, under an end table, behind a Xmas figurine. (They’re to be buried next to his first wife, my spouse’s mother when the ground thaws, in a small, private, immediate family-only service).

A few weeks after the holidays, my spouse reached out and asked when they could stop in to go through their father’s belongings, and prepare the house for the market (as outlined in the will). She put them off saying she wasn’t sleeping well, was struggling with her grief, and wasn’t able to get into grief counselling until the spring...yet was still going to bingo and socializing with others?

Three months in, she announced she’d finally gotten all the utilities switched into her name (all I could think was “you’re only getting around to that NOW?!”). Another month went by before she reached out to the lawyer who notarized the will—apparently they had passed away also (how convenient); 2-3 more weeks before she notified the bank he’d passed, she was the executor, and they froze his assets. Since then, the will has gone through probate, but very little has moved forward. She also announced that there was an payout of my FIL’s pension, and she was the sole beneficiary (um what?? why not the estate?!). According to her, he only had 1 savings account, and divided that up between the four of them. Next came the mention of a vehicle that was in fairly good shape, a utility trailer, and an all-terrain-vehicle, and whomever wanted it would need to pay out the others (reasonable, but strange). My spouse & I paid 50% of the vehicle since our child would be driving soon. Their sibling paid for the other items. When we went to pick up the vehicle, we went inside and NOTHING has been done in preparation to put it on the market. During all of this, she’s planned a “celebration of life” to take place on a random Saturday in a month from the writing of this post…despite his final wishes of not wanting anything. She’s hired a band, rented a hall, and will be putting all his homemade wine out for everyone (all without asking anyone else). When we looked over the vehicle before leaving, she casually mentions it had been her vehicle before buying the newer one she has now, and that my FIL had bought it from her after she moved in! She also dropped the bomb that her & her husband used that vehicle when they first got it to “shuttle the grandkids around”. So I said “you had kids?!” Her: “No, my husband did; it was his grandkids”…at no point in the last decade did she ever mention this—not even a hint of it. You’d think she’d have maintained contact with them if they spent enough time with them to have gotten a vehicle to shuttle them around!

I’m beginning to suspect this person may be a bit of a grifter. We’re approaching 6 months since his passing, and still no arrangements have been made for his burial, no plans for the siblings to go in and go sort his personal effects, and zero progress to get the house on the market. It feels like perhaps she’s done something similar with her husband’s family, which is why she’s never mentioned them, the grandchildren or divulged anything about her marriage other than he died (we’ve never even heard him mentioned by name).

She has been living in that house for free--and I mentioned to my spouse that isn’t right; that the siblings should request rent for each month she remained there before the estate finalizes, and to see copies of his financial statements since she had access to them (he’d always forget his PIN number so she knew what it was, and would’ve had all his cards).

AITA for thinking this is getting to be a bit suspicious, and that she’s taking advantage of the situation?

I grew up caring for my mother who had multiple sclerosis. My entire childhood, my brothers and I were helping with things most kids don’t usually think about or do for that matter — leg braces, mobility, watching your parent slowly decline in every aspect. The reality of living in a house where illness was always present and a child’s mind was never able to be.

Recently there was a conversation in my family about inheritance and money. It made me realize how differently people measure what’s “fair” when they didn’t grow up carrying the same things.

I ended up writing this after that conversation because I needed to get it out of my head. The only way I vent is through music and poetry - that’s why I wrote how I did. I hope this doesn’t get removed.

You said something to me recently.

You said,

“All needs are equal.”

And I remember thinking—

that is a strange thing to say
to the children
who buried their mother.

Because before we start counting dollars

I need to ask something first.

What exactly did we inherit?

----------

Our mother had multiple sclerosis.

And I was a child
learning how to care
for a woman
who should have been caring for me.

I learned how to fasten my mother’s leg braces
before I learned algebra.

Illness doesn’t just take strength.

It takes boundaries.

There are moments in caregiving
when the line between mother and child
simply disappears.

I was fifteen
when I realized the kind of care my mother needed
was the kind no child
should ever be asked to give.

And something inside me shifted.

Because the girl who needed her mother
was suddenly the adult in the room.

So I swallowed words
like medicine.

Sometimes metaphor.

Sometimes Xanax.

My brother?

Heroin.

He’s clean now.

But families like ours
prefer easier stories.

The story where addiction
is weakness.

Not survival.

So tell me again—

what exactly did we inherit?

Illness.

Silence.

Responsibility
we were too young to carry.

----------

And now suddenly
there’s a ledger.

Now suddenly
there’s fairness to calculate.

You say
this money is yours too.

Because you gave your sister money.

Because you helped her.

Because you were generous.

But here’s the part
you keep skipping.

You chose to give.

You could have said no.

You could have drawn a boundary.

You could have stepped away.

We couldn’t.

There are no boundaries
when you’re a child
in a house
where illness lives.

There is no opting out.

No ledger.

Just survival.

So when you say
this money belongs to you too—

because you once helped her—

I wonder if you understand
what you’re really asking.

You’re asking to be reimbursed
for something
you chose to give.

While we are still paying
for something
we never chose to carry.

So tell me again—

what exactly did we inherit?

----------

Now I’m a mother.

Two little girls.

Three years old
and ten months.

My oldest is Olivia.

Her middle name
is Robyn.

After my mother.

Robin.

Your daughters
still have their grandmother.

Mine
have stories.

So tell me—

what exactly did we inherit?

Not money.

Not fairness.

We inherited survival.

----------

You kept the ledger.

You counted dollars.

You measured fairness.

You said,

“All needs are equal.”

But the debt you’re counting in money—

we already paid

in childhood.

You chose to give.

We were children
learning how to survive.

So keep the ledger.

Keep the math.

Keep the story
that helps you sleep at night.

But understand this—

some debts
aren’t written in dollars.

They’re written
in childhood.

And that kind of debt

remains

unpaid.

Thank you for reading.

I’m Jason from Hawaii all my mail goes to my moms house. I get a letter saying I have to fill out these forms and mail it back to Nation Wide insurance. So I fill it out and go with the lump sum $260k before taxes.. My brother gets the same form not sure if he fills it out and sends it back I hardly talk to him. So I wait about 6 weeks and call them to see the status of the check they tell me that I’m not the beneficiary and that they found the beneficiary I’m puzzled I ask so who is it they can’t tell me. This annuity is from my dad’s brother who didn’t have kids and his wife died. So the person said they can’t tell me but for my mom to call them up so I tell my mom to call she’s all irritated telling me why they didn’t send her the papers but she eventually does. 2 months go by and she says she got the money so I ask her what do I get from this. She says nothing cause I’m not the beneficiary I said but uncle Joe had my name on this for a reason she tells me they used me to find her which is a lie so I ask her where’s the letter they sent she says she shredded it. That’s my dad’s brother my dad passed away a few years ago. I keep telling my mom my name wasn’t on there for nothing and me filling out these forms wasn’t to find you cause no where did it say where’s my mom.. me and my brothers name wasn’t there for nothing and why would my uncle my dads brother give everything to my mom.. I’m from Hawaii and any feed back or advice will help thank you

When I (20F) was a sophomore in high school, both of my parents were involved in a severe car accident that ultimately led to my mother’s death. Ever since then, my relationship with my father (46M) has completely fallen apart.
For some background, I am the youngest of four children. At the time of the accident, I was the only child still living at home and attending school. All of my older siblings had already moved out and started their own lives. Because of that, I was left alone to return home every day to a house filled with grief, trauma, and the overwhelming absence of my mother. On top of trying to process losing her, I was suddenly forced to live with a father I had never been particularly close to in the first place.
Very quickly, I felt like I was expected to replace my mom in the household. I became responsible for cooking, cleaning, laundry, yard work, paying bills downtown, and taking care of the house — all while attending school full-time and grieving the loss of my mother. I felt abandoned emotionally by my father during the hardest period of my life. I was expected to handle adult responsibilities and act mature beyond my years, yet anytime I wanted independence or wanted to make decisions for myself, I was reminded that I was “still a child.”
As time went on, our relationship only became worse. About a year and a half after my mother passed away, I found out my father had started dating someone new. At first, he lied about it, but eventually he introduced us to her. I’ll call her Penelope (44F). She lived about an hour away from us, and over time my father began spending more and more time with her. From the beginning, I knew I wasn’t going to like her. Everything felt too fast, and it was painful watching someone new step into a place connected to my mother’s memory.
About six months into their relationship, I accidentally discovered that my father was planning to marry her. I was using the family computer when I noticed his email was still open. I saw receipts for both a wedding venue and a wedding dress. I was completely shocked. I immediately called my sisters, and we spent hours talking about how hurtful it was that he had hidden something so major from us.
What hurt even more was that my father didn’t officially tell us about the engagement until nearly four months after I had already discovered it myself. Things remained somewhat manageable until they actually got married. Once Penelope had my father’s last name, it felt like she suddenly believed she could step into the role of my mother and tell me how to live my life.
They got married one month into my freshman year of college. By the end of my first semester, I already knew I wanted to distance myself from both of them. Their behavior toward me had become emotionally exhausting and toxic. I tried multiple times to explain how badly my mental health had been suffering and how much I was struggling in college, but my feelings never seemed to matter. They only cared about my grades, my performance, and outward success — never about how I was actually doing emotionally.
Eventually, I decided I wanted to cut contact with them, but there’s one major complication. When my mother died, all of my siblings received life insurance payouts except for me. Because I was still a minor at the time, the money intended for me was placed into an account under my father’s name. Now, the only way I can access that money is through him and his permission.
I want to move on and separate myself from both him and his wife, but at the same time, I don’t want to lose money that came from my mother and was meant for me. I’ve considered getting a lawyer involved and possibly taking legal action, but I’m not sure I could afford it. Right now, I honestly don’t know what the best decision is.

I also do want to say, but there is a lot more instances and more drama as to why I want to cut them off. I just thought it would be way too long to put it in this.

Please let me know if you have any suggestions or ideas of what to do.