AITAH for being more entertained than upset after catching a guy trying to justify cheating on his "complicated" relationship by "having fun" with a stranger?
I (F26) need to vent about a bizarre situation I’ve been dealing with recently, and I’m curious to see how outsiders read this dynamic.
I’ve been seeing a guy in his 30s who I first crossed paths with at a local sports watch party. He approached me to ask about the match, and at first, it just felt like a casual, passing conversation with a stranger. We ended up staying through another match together, realized we shared a lot of similarities, and he even played a demo of his music to get my opinion. The vibe shifted, he started initiating physical contact, and the chemistry was undeniably there. For context, I’m moving abroad in about a month, so my intentions from the very beginning were completely fixed: I did not want anything serious. Since I'm currently in my funemployment era, I had the time to see him a few times this past week, though we don't actually text much outside of setting up plans.
The second time we met up, we opened up more, and the chemistry felt completely natural. But during that meetup, he also started dropping these cryptic hints about his personal life. He casually made a comment saying that he "was in" a long-distance relationship, following it up by explaining that he is a deeply romantic, physical guy who absolutely cannot handle being in an LDR. Because he framed it in the past tense, it was incredibly ambiguous and felt like a riddle, and he quickly changed the subject before clarifying anything. Throughout all of this, he was laying it on thick, romanticizing our connection as some sort of profound awakening in his life, and telling me how unforgettable our interaction was. He kept repeating that he "doesn't know why he's doing this" or why he ended up here, constantly framing us as just "two lonely people having fun."
During that exact conversation, I was honest with him too. I told him that I don’t usually do things like this. Getting involved with a complete stranger like this is very out of the ordinary for me. I explained that I usually tend to attach very quickly, which is why I was making a conscious effort to keep everything strictly casual. He completely agreed with me on that, along with many other aspects of this supposed deep "connection." Eventually, we hooked up, and afterward, we started opening up about our life problems. That's when he finally confirmed the truth: he is actively, currently the one in a LDR. He emphasized how much he hates the distance, making it sound like a miserable situation.
What he doesn't know is that I’ve done some digging. He never actually gave me his artist name, but I knew his real name, which was enough to track down his social accounts. Through that, I found his SO, and a lot of things clicked into place once I saw her profile. When I initially found his socials and saw his SO, I thought they had broken up or something because of how he was acting. That's why I had agreed to have a so-called fling with him in the first place, given that I'll be out of the country in a month.
My intuition immediately went into overdrive. When I straight-up asked him, "Are you single?" he met me with an ambiguous "it's complicated" answer. Based on that and my own internet research, I knew exactly what was up. I directly followed it up by asking him if I was intervening with anything going on in his life, and once again, no answer.
After sitting on that information, I messaged him directly today and told him straight up that our connection doesn't change the fact that this dynamic sounds a lot like cheating to me. I explicitly told him that if he were single, I would have absolutely no problems having fun with him. I’m completely down for a casual summer fling, but I draw a hard line at being dragged into someone else's relationship drama.
He immediately went into de-escalation mode and tried to lower the tension, claiming he thought he had laid it all out clearly during one of our first conversations. He told me that we both just stumbled into a messy gray area together. I fired back a text reminding him that he only mentioned hating long-distance relationships, not that he was actively in one.
Honestly, right now I feel more entertained by the absolute absurdity of it all rather than miserable, especially since I already know the truth. Everything only started a week ago so I haven’t been exactly attached to this guy yet.
Am I the asshole for finding this entire situation funny instead of being upset?