u/littlebookwyrm

She moved in with me (also female, but nbd! 🤣) at the beginning of the year and I don't think she's ever once closed the closet door after she's done with it. If I go into the kitchen, there's likely three cabinet doors open. The fridge hasn't been latched multiple times and I'll let her know, but it continues to happen. I'll even close the doors in front of her, but she doesn't notice or acknowledge that it was left open. (Of course I know that she can't read my mind and we need to have an actual conversation about it, but I wanted to see if anyone had any input before I brought it up.)

And like, I get it. I have ADHD too. But it's getting frustrating. Not a deal breaker, it's just annoying. We have similar problems with cleaning because she doesn't "see" the clutter or the open doors. I knew she was messy and didn't "see" the same stuff I did, but she promised to "do better" before she moved in. But that just hasn't happened.

Are there any tangible ways to encourage her to change? I do plan on talking to her about it especially since we're moving next month and I want us, collectively, to do better than at our current place. But without any practical tips for doing it, I'm not sure anything will change.

Multiple violations that I'm not going to bother to look up because it doesn't matter, I have no energy or desire to fight this, but the only ones we have ever been told about were cleaning related. Because of course they were. We have to be out by August 1. The standard is 30 days, so at least we're getting more than that.

I've been numb ever since I saw the letter this morning. My girlfriend briefly started looking at places, but all I've done is cry and sleep. (Also, I slept two hours last night which is definitely not helping.) I feel so useless. She's been trying to reassure me, tell me it's not my fault, and that we're going to get through this together. She's outwardly doing much better than me, but she also has anxiety and I know I'm not helping her like she is me with me and I feel so guilty.

I legitimately don't know what to do going forward, either emotionally or practically, so any advice would be wonderful. I know we need to:

• Search for places and put in applications.
• Pack. I can probably get a lot of boxes from work.

…but that's all.