What should I do?
Hello everyone,
I just want to discuss something that has been causing me significant cognitive dissonance and genuinely making me sad.
I have been sleeping with this guy (Nov Scorpio male) and I am a Nov Scorpio female. Tbh we met under really unfortunate circumstances — I went on a date with a friend of his who I did not do anything physical with. He was just genuinely very attractive to me which I find very rare for me to feel at first sight. We have expressed our guilt about meeting circumstances — especially he has considering that’s one of his close friends which I find peculiar that he would even do that.
Anyways, a few months after following him on IG I decided to maybe DM him. From there, there was back and forth banter. He set up a date which he ended up canceling 15 minutes prior (super rude and kind of hurt my feelings), but he swore it was not due to me. Anyways, this is where I should’ve just let it go and had some self respect. However, in the midst of wanting to be chosen I guess and a clear lack of respect for myself, I slept with him without the date and without the effort. (Twice to be exact). And now I just feel absolutely terrible as this is not something I usually do ever because I tend to be a very passionate and not casual Scorpio, but I wanted to try being a bit more free spirited… maybe I should’ve tried that with someone I was less attracted to…. He has been inconsistent (not surprising) and a piece of me wants to message him and be like hey I don’t wanna continue to sleep with you due to this cognitive dissonance and your clear lack of interest…. Is that stupid? Should I just stfu and keep it moving? Please provide advice if you have any. I know I should probably just take it on the chin and say nothing but then sometimes I’m like whatever and extremely impulsive and just wanna say everything off my chest even if it’s stupid because it makes me feel better bc I’m already feeling like a regretful loser and frustrated that he only perceives me as a “hoe” and “easy” when I swear that isn’t my usual. I actually think that I am a catch contrary to his belief. Maybe I’m projecting on myself because ugh idk. If you think I should text which I would like it to be all in one text not requiring much of a response but gets my point across, what do you guys suggest? And when should I send it? Tonight or during the day? Or never? Pls help because I’m stressed and I journaled and prayed about it and idk.