u/lolabunny4562

yₒᵤ cₐₙₙₒₜ fₒᵣcₑ ₗₒᵥₑ. ᵢₜ ᵢₛ ₜₕₑᵣₑ ₒᵣ ᵢₜ ᵢₛₙ'ₜ.

— ₛₐᵣₐₕ Dₑₛₛₑₙ

~~~~~~~~~~

The absolute worst way to wake up is to the sound of your best friend treating this mini trip like a military boot camp.

"Wake up, people! Daylight is burning!"

Mira's voice carried through the thick walls, completely unapologetic. I groaned into my pillow, dragging the heavy comforter over my head in a desperate bid to block out the noise. Down the hall, I could hear Thomas yell something muffled and deeply irritated, followed by Anna telling him to just ignore it. But Mira wasn't the type of person you could just ignore.

"I am giving everyone exactly fifteen minutes to get out of bed, and get downstairs to help with breakfast!" Mira hollered, her footsteps stomping right past my door.

I let out a whine, tossing the blankets aside. The mountain air seeping through the window pane was freezing, making the floor feel like a solid block of ice against my bare feet. I didn't even bother looking in the mirror. I just dragged my hair up into a messy bun, tied it off with a scrunchie, and threw on a heavy knit sweater over my pajama pants. Sleep was still heavily etched onto my features, my eyelids drooping as I trudged down the grand staircase.

When I shuffled into the massive kitchen, Mira's yelling had thankfully stopped. Instead, the room was occupied by her and Nate. They were currently pressed up against the island giggling softly and kissing like they hadn't just seen each other in forever.

I stopped in my tracks, leaning against the doorframe, and cleared my throat loudly.

Nate immediately pulled back, looking mildly sheepish, though Mira just offered a completely unbothered grin.

"Sorry," Nate mumbled, running a hand through his messy hair before his eyes scanned my face. He winced slightly. "Rough night? You look like you barely got any sleep at all."

"Thanks, Nate. Love the compliment," I muttered, walking over to the sink to wash my hands.

In truth, he was entirely right. I had barely slept a wink. I spent the vast majority of the night staring at the log ceiling of my bedroom, twisting my thoughts into anxious knots over what I was going to do about Cameron. After the conversation I had with Mira the other day, the reality of my situation had finally settled in. If I accepted Cameron's question and agreed to be his girlfriend, I would essentially be living a lie. It wasn't what I truly wanted. He was a great guy—sweet, attentive, incredibly kind—but the spark just wasn't there for me.

But I also couldn't bring myself to ruin his time here. The idea of rejecting him while trapped in a remote lodge sounded like a social nightmare. I didn't want to hurt him, and I absolutely didn't want to make this entire getaway about my romantic drama. So, somewhere around three in the morning, I made a firm decision: I was going to wait. I would enjoy the trip, keep things friendly, and the second we got back home I'd sit him down and gently explain that a relationship just wasn't something I was ready for right now.

Mira's eyes slightly narrowed as she studied me. She gave me that highly suspicious look. The one that said I know something's up but I'm just waiting for you to spill the details. Stubbornly I avoided her gaze and grabbed a mixing bowl from the drying rack.

"What can I help with?" I asked.

Mira scrunched up her eyes, squinting at me. She was clearly reading the evasion, but to my immense relief, she decided not to push it. Not here, anyway.

"We need someone to handle the pancake batter. The mix is in the pantry."

"On it," I said, immediately getting to work.

Over the next few minutes, the rest of the house slowly trickled downstairs. Thomas and Anna arrived first, yawning and rubbing their eyes, quickly assigned to setting the long dining table. Surprisingly, Stacey was the next to appear. She was already fully dressed for the day in dark leggings and a pristine white turtleneck, her makeup absolutely flawless. Instead of offering to help, she simply leaned against the kitchen entryway, inspecting her nails and watching us scramble around the kitchen.

Mira stopped whisking the eggs, fixing Stacey with a deadly glare. "Stacey. If you don't pitch in, you can forget about eating anything on that stove."

Stacey rolled her eyes, letting out a highly exaggerated, begrudging grumble. "Fine. What do you want me to do?"

"Fruit," Mira instructed, pointing a spatula toward a massive bowl of strawberries and bananas. "Wash it, chop it, and put it in the blender for the smoothies."

Stacey sighed as if she had just been asked to build a house from scratch, but she slowly walked over to the cutting board and picked up a knife.

As the kitchen filled with the smell of melting butter and sizzling bacon, I realized the room was still missing two distinct faces. I paused, the whisk resting in the bowl of batter, and looked around the space.

"Wait," I asked aloud to no one in particular. "Where are Cameron and Finn?"

Anna looked up from folding the napkins. "Yeah, I haven't seen them at all this morning. Where'd they go?"

Nate casually grabbed a piece of bacon off the platter, dodging Mira's swatting hand. "Finn woke up super early. He went out to the shed to chop and collect some extra wood. Wanted to make sure we had enough for the indoor hearth today, plus extra for the fire pit out back in case we want to do a bonfire tonight."

"And Cameron?" I asked

"He offered to help Fin. carry the logs back," Nate replied, chewing his food.

My stomach instantly tied itself into a knot. Finn and Cameron. Alone. In the woods. Together. I didn't even know how to feel about that information. Honestly, I shouldn't feel any type of way about it. It wasn't like I was in a committed relationship with either of them. But the reality was messy. Unlike with Cameron, who I had been getting to know over the past few weeks, I had shared a very real, very complicated kiss with Finn. Even though that happened before Cam and I really started talking, the guilt and the anxiety were overwhelming. What if they talked about me? What if Cameron mentioned his confession? What if Finn brought up the past?

Before my mind could spiral any further down that disastrous rabbit hole, the glass sliding doors at the back of the kitchen groaned open.

A blast of freezing mountain wind rushed into the warm room, bringing both guys with it. They both stomped their boots on the heavy utility mat, shaking snowflakes from their jackets. Both of their cheeks were flushed a deep, ruddy pink from the biting air outside.

"Mmm, something smells really good," Cameron announced, quickly shrugging off his coat and hanging it on a hook.

He didn't hesitate for a second, walking straight past the island and over to the stove where I was standing. He stepped close—a little too close—and lightly nudged my shoulder with his.

"I didn't know you could cook," Cameron teased, offering a slight smile.

A nervous laugh tumbled past my lips as I gripped the handle of the frying pan, suddenly hyper aware of Finn standing by the doorway, dusting snow off his jeans. "Um, yeah, no. I'm not a very good cook," I admitted, keeping my eyes firmly on the bubbling batter. "I just followed the instructions Mira gave me. As you can see, I'm really just trying to focus on not turning the main dish into a total disaster."

From the dining table, Anna snorted loudly. "That is the understatement of the century. Do you guys remember the Easy Bake Oven incident?"

I groaned, letting my head fall forward slightly. "Anna, please don't."

"Wait, what happened?" Cameron asked, turning his attention to Anna with obvious curiosity.

"For Ruby's tenth birthday, her mom bought her this deluxe Easy Bake Oven," Anna explained, her eyes crinkling with amusement. "We all decided we were going to be professional bakers one day, so Ruby insisted on making these double chocolate chip cookies, but she accidentally used salt instead of sugar, and left them under that tiny heat lamp for way too long."

A low, rich chuckle sounded from the other side of the kitchen. Finn had a rare smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. "They tasted so bad" Finn said, his voice laced with nostalgia. "I had to basically force myself to eat three of them and act like they were the best cookies in the world just so she wouldn't cry."

Cameron blinked, looking back and forth between Anna, Finn, and me.

"Oh. You guys have known each other for that long?"

"Oh, yeah," Mira chimed in, tossing the scrambled eggs. "Anna and I have been friends with Ruby since we were in, what, third grade? Or was it fourth? I don't really remember. We moved to Santa Barbara like three months apart and just latched onto her." Mira paused, gesturing toward Finn with her spatula. "But Ruby and Finn have always been best friends. Their families have literally known each other since they were in diapers."

"Huh," Cameron murmured. He just nodded his head, a curious expression crossing his face. He didn't push for more details, nor did he ask any follow up questions. Instead, he just turned back to me, watching me silently flip the pancakes.

His proximity, combined with the sudden quiet made me feel incredibly on edge. I couldn't figure out what was running through his head, and I didn't want to make a mistake by trying to guess.

Breakfast itself was a delicious but slightly strained affair. The food was incredible, but the seating arrangement left a lot to be desired. Cam sat rigidly beside me, ensuring my juice glass was constantly full and passing me the syrup before I even had to ask. Directly across the table, Finn sat next to Stacey. While Stacey talked endlessly about a boutique back home, Finn just ate his food, his eyes occasionally flicking up to catch me awkwardly laughing at whatever joke Cameron was making.

Once the plates were cleared and the dishwasher was loaded, Mira clapped her hands together, demanding the room's attention.

"Alright! The weather is perfect. The powder is fresh. Who wants to go sledding?"

"I am definitely not going out there," Stacey said immediately, taking a sip of her smoothie. "I don't do outdoor activities. I am staying inside the lodge where it's warm and completely free of wild animals and snow."

Mira simply offered an easy shrug, entirely unbothered by the rejection. "That's fine by me."

Finn pushed his chair back from the dining table, picking up his empty ceramic mug. "Actually, I think I'm going to pass today, too."

Mira blinked, turning her attention to him.

"I was out there all morning chopping wood," Finn explained smoothly, walking over to the sink to rinse out his cup. "I'm just going to stay indoors, probably put a movie on or something."

Given that Mira merely tolerated Finn on a good day, she didn't put up a fight. She didn't beg him to come or try to convince him to change his mind. She just nodded. "Suit yourself. I guess that just leaves us six, then. Everyone else, bundle up and meet at the back door."

As the group scattered to get ready, a wave of intense, suffocating anxiety washed over me. I stood still by the table, my mind instantly sprinting down a terrible, highly agonizing path.

Finn and Stacey. Alone. In this massive, secluded lodge for two entire hours with absolutely no one else around to interrupt them.

The very thought made my stomach churn. What were they going to do? Were they going to sit on the sofa together? Watch that movie he mentioned? Talk about whatever their current status was? I desperately wanted to stay behind. I wanted to sit in the living room and ensure nothing happened between them. But I couldn't. I knew exactly how suspicious it would look if I also suddenly bailed on the group activity the exact second Finn decided to stay behind. Mira would see right through it, and worse, Cameron would notice.

So, swallowing the bitter taste of jealousy pooling in my mouth, I forced myself upstairs to get ready.

Thirty minutes later, the six of us were trudging through the thick, untouched powder of the massive hill located a few hundred yards behind the property. Despite my internal dread about leaving the lodge, the adrenaline of the cold wind and the ridiculous speed of the plastic sleds eventually forced excitement through me. Anna and Thomas were currently racing Mira and Nate to the bottom, their laughter carrying through the crisp mountain air.

I reached the bottom of the slope, my boots sinking deep into the snow, and turned to wait for Cameron. He came sliding down a few seconds later, using his boots to brake before coming to a stop near my feet.

He stood up, grabbing the rope attached to the front of his red sled. He didn't look at the others. Instead, his eyes fixed firmly on me.

"So," Cameron started, his voice casual but carrying an underlying weight that immediately put me on guard. "Why didn't you tell me you and Finn used to be best friends?"

I blinked, pulling my beanie down over my ears to buy myself a second to think. "I just... I didn't think it mattered."

"It didn't matter?"

"No," I insisted, forcing a light, dismissive tone. "We really haven't been friends for the last couple of years. We grew apart. He only just moved back to Santa Barbara for senior year, and honestly, we aren't even that close anymore. It just wasn't important enough to bring up."

Cameron gripped the nylon rope of his sled, his body becoming slightly rigid "But it seems like you guys are that close now. I mean, you guys always hang out, right? He's always around."

I shot him a deeply questioning look, my defensive walls instantly slamming into place. "What does that even mean? Of course he's around, Cameron. Finn, Nate, and Thomas are literally on the same soccer team. They do everything together. They're all friends."

Cameron stared at me for a long moment. The winter wind whipped through the trees around us, but the silence between us felt graciously loud.

"Right," Cameron finally answered, his voice completely flat. He turned around, digging his boots into the snow, and started dragging his sled back up the miniature hill toward where the others were standing.

I stood there for a moment, an awful sinking feeling taking root inside me. I hurried after him, my boots crunching loudly. I reached out, grabbing onto the thick fabric of his jacket sleeve to force him to stop and turn back around to face me.

"Are you upset about something?" I asked directly.

Cameron looked down at my gloved hand on his arm, then back up to my face. "Why would I be upset about something?"

"I don't know why you'd be upset about anything," I pushed, my brow furrowing, "but it really seems like you are."

He didn't answer right away. He just stood there in the snow, his breath puffing in small white clouds between us. He hesitated, looking as though he was debating whether or not to actually say the words out loud.

"Yesterday," he began, his voice dropping slightly, losing any trace of its usual optimism. "I kind of overheard your conversation in the kitchen."

My fingers instantly went numb. I let go of his arm, stumbling a half step backward as if I had been physically pushed. I looked up at his face, searching for a trace of anger, but there wasn't any. He didn't look mad, or vindictive, or furious. He just looked sad.

"How much..." My voice cracked, betraying the panic flooding my system. I swallowed hard, trying again. "How much of the conversation did you really hear?"

"Not much," he admitted meekly, the rope slipping from his grip to land in the snow. "Just the part where you asked Finn if he and my cousin were a thing. If they were dating and stuff."

I stopped breathing. The winter air suddenly felt too overwhelming.

"At first, I didn't know what to think about it," Cameron continued, his eyes searching mine for an explanation I absolutely did not have. "When I heard you asking that, I just thought that maybe you wanted to verify if he and Stacey were actually a thing. Just looking out for a friend." He paused, a painful, heavy sigh escaping his lips. "But then when I looked into the kitchen, I noticed the way you looked at him."

My throat closed up completely.

"That wasn't the look a friend gives another friend, Ruby."

I was entirely stunned. The words stripped away every single defense I possessed. I felt so unbelievably sorry toward Cameron in that moment that my mind went completely blank. I desperately searched my brain for some type of believable excuse, some lie I could string together to tell him that he was wrong, that it wasn't what it looked like. But I couldn't, because the agonizing truth was that it was exactly what it looked like.

"Cameron, I—" I started, my voice trembling.

He shook his head, cutting me off before I could even try to formulate an apology. He stepped just an inch closer, his expression entirely open and soft.

"You don't have to explain it to me," Cameron said gently, the sadness in his eyes shifting into something so sweet it made my heart ache. "I don't really know what the history is between you two, and I don't know what's going on now. But what I do know is that I'm here, Ruby. I am right here in front of you."

He reached out, his gloved fingers lightly brushing against the edge of my sleeve.

"And I like you so, so much," he whispered, the raw honesty in his voice making the tears prick the back of my eyes. "I know I don't have years of history with you. I know I wasn't the guy eating burnt cookies in your kitchen when you were ten. But I want to be the guy who treats you right today. I just want you to see me, and realize that I would be so incredibly good to you. I just... I want you to choose me. Please, just give me a chance to be the one making you happy."

I stood paralyzed in the snow, a single tear slipping hot down my freezing cheek. It wasn't like I needed to say anything, or even could, because the moment he said those words, he'd turned his back, grabbed the rope of his sled, and continued his slow walk back up the hill, leaving me standing alone at the bottom to drown in the weight of the choice I was inevitably going to have to make.