Does anyone else get the vague feeling that other trauma also happened to them even though they dont remember any details?
Sometimes I feel like I half remember other kinds of abuse on top of the neglect.
Sometimes it almost feels like real details without a specific context, other times it feels like... I dunno, like, I must be faking it for clout or something even though I've never told anybody before making this post.
Mostly I just have this vague feeling that Something Really Bad Happened, even though I couldn't tell you what. Like, I mostly couldn't even tell you what it was. But it Feels Very Bad To Think About.
On the one hand, I know my memory has huge gaps. Maybe there really is something awful hiding in there. But on the other hand, I know how bad my memory is, maybe I'm just misremembering bits from a movie or something.
I dunno, maybe I subconsciously feel that the neglect isnt "enough" or my suffering isnt "valid" or I don't know how to even think about the neglect or something, so I'm unconciously inventing fake half memories of other worse traumas to point to and say, "see, I really did get [****]ed now my suffering is undeniable."
Is that.... normal? Of course its not *normal* none of this is normal, but like, is that something to be expected just from emotional neglect, or is it a sign of something deeper?
Because tbh I really hope these bad vibes are an expected symptom of emotional neglect because I do not have the energy to discover even more fucking trauma buried in here.
Thanks sorry if this is a weird question.