u/lotti333

any apples or cherries appreciated :)

Since November, myself and my partner have been working so hard on a band we fell into purely by chance: I approached a fellow music teacher at a Saturday academy and we all agreed to jam together. We quickly got super excited because we sounded amazing together and his songs were absolutely awesome. I'm a singer and have been singing his songs for months now and enjoying myself so much, plus I know I make the songs sound even better. This project has had my whole heart (and his too!) and never in a million years would I have expected what happened yesterday. Everyone in the band was SO excited. He literally wrote a song about how much he loved hearing me sing his songs!

But yesterday, he called me up and told me he wanted to discuss the band. I had no inkling that anything was wrong because less than a week ago we were discussing our single release which we'd all been working towards for a couple months now. We've also got a string of gigs this month leading up to the release of the track. I've invited everyone I know because I was so invested. Anyway, he tells me "so I've been thinking and... I really want to be singing my own songs." My entire world went flat.

And I was like, "Wait what? So where would that leave me?"

"I don't know." What do you mean you don't know???!! Am I fired or not?

Anyway, he acknowledged that my partner would probably also quit as bassist in solidarity (which he did) and he was extremely quick to point out that he loves my voice and has loved working with me. He said his feelings on this had only crystallised within the last week or so and that he wanted to pursue a more intimate, confessional sound. I am obviously extremely upset because this band literally felt like my entire future, like I was following my dreams. I've always been a great vocalist but songwriting/mixing/putting the tracks together has always felt like the one thing stopping me from making my own music properly. I felt like this band was a path to success where I could focus on the thing I'm really good at.

Right now my partner and I are both heavily grieving this loss and I just don't really know how to move forward. I've written some good songs but none of them are honestly as good as his. I want this so so badly and I feel utterly heartbroken and lost. However, I had been wanting to make and release my own music for a while now, I just didn't want to have to rely entirely on myself to make that happen you know? And what if I'm not good enough? I just feel completely gutted and so hurt by the whole thing. My heart hurts and I can't sleep. I need to believe I'll be OK again but right now I don't. :(