r/bandmembers

The singer gathered musicians and created the band in november 2025, we started out as a cover band, then started making our own songs. He was the main composer, of the 7 songs we recorded, only 1 of them was by our drummer, the singer created the songs at home and brought us the chords progression, lyrics and the song's structure, and we created our parts on top of that.

Our first album was recorded from april to july, we split the costs equally (4 members, 25% each), now the producer is mixing the album. Before our last recording session, me (bassist) and the singer had a disagreement, and we had been bickering for some time now, then he gathered with the other members and kicked me out (drummer was in favor and the guitarrist was against it). It was a shock at first but it's okay now, it was bound to happen sometime. Then we agreed I was gonna record the bass for the last song, I was gonna rennounce my rights to any monetary gains (my choice, as I believe there won't be any significant gains) and that I could use the album as portfolio on my socials.

Then, a month later, the guitarrist texts me, says he fought with the singer (I don't know exactly why), and that the singer kicked him out as well, and it looks like things were more heated with his departure, the singer even blocked him. The guitarrist also said that the singer was gonna give the credits for my parts to the new bassist, and the guitarrist is worried that the singer is gonna take the credits for his parts. The singer also plays rhythm guitar, but he only recorded 1 guitar part on the entire album, 95% of it was the main guitarrist.

So I don't know what to do now, or if I should do something at all. Maybe the producer will knock some sense into the singer when it comes the time to fill out the credits, maybe the guitarrist will talk to the drummer and he can convince the singer, and even if they don't give me credit, I can still put it in my ig bio, but I would like to see my name on spotify and others platforms.

Idk if it's relevant, but me and the guitarrist have videos of ourselves recording our parts for every song of the album.

Update: A few hours after I posted this, the singer reached out to me and asked about the credits and royalties. In Brazil, musicians who are registered as performers on a recording are allocated 16.6% of the neighboring-rights share of the phonogram, since I know this won't make any money, I told him to leave me out of it. However, I still want to be credited as the bass player, so I asked him to include my name in the credits when he submits the songs to the distributor, it was a friendly conversation and he was fine with my decision.

I think this was the best outcome possible, now I just hope he keeps his word, and even if he doesn't, your comments helped me realize the credits on spotify and others don't matter much for such a small project, and it's not worth the headache, thank you all

A few years ago I started this band with some friends. I, the bassist, and our singer/guitarist had written a lot of our songs. Recently our singer left on good terms, he wanted to do his own thing. So we got a new singer and since his arrival I’ve felt like there’s been some dynamic changes. I saw this new singer coming in as an opportunity to grow my musical skills but it hasn’t been going that way. Since the singers arrival I have felt like I’ve been pushed away. The singer and the other members have been writing without me and whenever I give input it falls to deaf ears. Whenever I bring a song idea to them they say it’s good and it ends there. The same goes for covers, any suggestion I have gets shot down.

Along with creative frustration there’s been a change of scheduling. Some of the members get together more frequently to write/jam while I’m not there because I live the furthest away and have a busier schedule. The new singer and guitarist say that I’m not committed enough and need to spend more time. Theyre are borderline demanding I give up some of my other obligations so we can do 2-3 practices a week instead of once a week. I simply cannot do this. I barely have enough time after work and my other obligations to do chores, spend time with my gf, and do basic upkeep. Hell I haven’t had a haircut in almost half a year because I haven’t had the time. I have explained this to them but they don’t seem to understand.

The most recent incident was when I told them (month in advance) I was going on a trip for a weekend so I wouldn’t be able to go to practice. I was coming back home on the day of usual practice and I knew I was gonna be exhausted from the trip and travel and wouldn’t have the bandwidth to drive another 2 hours round trip to do band practice. So I included that day in the unavailability. On the day they were confused to where I was and was mad when I told them I wouldn’t be able to go.

Ive just been so frustrated that I’m not even enjoying doing it anymore. Demanding I sacrifice more of my time to do this while I feel I’m not even getting a say what we’re doing. Like I get it that I wrote a lot of our other stuff and they want to write their own songs which I want to support, but it’s at the cost of my own creativity. Any advice is welcome I’m just so frustrated with it.

My Band - singer, guitar(me), synth - wants to join another band - drummer, guitar, I think they also have a bass player.

I guess the best way to describe our style is melodic metal. I use a lot of melodies in my riffs and also make groovy rhythms. Our singer screams mostly, sometimes clean. We have a lot of acoustic parts in our songs as well. Synth does atmosphere at the moment, maybe some riffs later.

The other band describes their style as modern metal. And honestly what they do is very impressive. Their guitar player is definitely mechanically better than me, I have to admit that. But I personally just don't like their style. I don't think his way of playing goes together with my playing at all. I listened to their 2 songs for 4 days now but I still don't like it.

I have already communicated to everyone that I have mixed feelings about the merger but I won't hold my singer and synth player hostage, in case they want to join them. The other bands drummer is also offering to come our way somewhat. The first joined practice won't be until September. But still I don't see my opinion change until then.

So all in all I am sad about this because I only see three scenarios.
A: I block the merger, and then my two band members are upset at me for letting go of the perfect opportunity. I have another drummer lined up, that is mechanically worse but a very good musician in general.
B: I let my people leave and then I don't have a band anymore. I don't really see myself joining another band if this one breaks apart. So I would be loosing this entirely.
C: I compromise on my personal playing style, which would just frustrate me. This to me would feel like I would be playing in a cover band, playing music I don't like, for the sake of being in a band.

What would you do?

Edit: Thank you for the many responses and different view points, it has been very helpful.
I will definitely give the other guys a fair shot and play with them. Also I don't have a fair way to stop it, like many people pointed out correctly.
A little bit of context, this band project is entirely for fun. We did have previous drummers and second guitarists of course. This merger came about because the other bands drummer wanted to try out our band for over a month. Just a few days ago he said that their singer left and then he offered the idea of the merger.

I’m in a casual (performing 12+ times a year) 6 piece band, we are all mercs, pretty much. That is to say, we’re not friends outside of performing, due to different ages, personalities, stages in life. We’ve basically all been recruited over the last 3 years. Everything has always been decided in a sort of democratic, majority votes kinda thing. But 2 bandmembers are disruptive, drummers not up to scratch and the bassist has a massively inflated sense of self.

The guy who started the band isnt good with confrontation so he’s talking of creating a new group with new drummer and basist. But I think its a waste of all the credit we’ve accumulated. Can we kick out the others even though they’ve contributed similarly to the tunes? How would you go about it?

so I'm in an very new online band and just recently had a fight with my lead singer. the thing is that she composed a song for us to make and i personally didn't like the song but i was new to the band at that time so i was scared of confrontation and didn't tell anyone but as we kept working on it it kept building inside of me and as we were just going to release it it finally came out. i told her that i didn't like the song and she understandably got very upset. we argued for a while and then she just stopped replying to my texts. so the whole band is really unsure over what to do next. i can't help but feel like it's all my fault but also think that stuff like this happens all the time in a band. it's my first time in a band so i don't really know tho. i really care about our group and was hoping to get some advice from here :)

edit:- i think i handled the situation very maturely while trying my best to prevent anyone's feelings getting hurt. i also forget to mention that a couple of memebers also we'rent happy with the song but they were hesitant as i said before that we're very new so yeah we don't know what to do now.

Basically the title. So I ask this because I think this is a personal matter folks in bands who play shows regularly can perhaps relate to. I (34M) was briefly dating this woman (38) and she had always wanted to see my band play, but the scheduling just never worked out. Well, after our last and final date where I wanted to keep things moving along steadily into more relationship territory, she politely told me she wasn't feeling the same way now and wanted to just remain friends. OK. Totally cool with me. But then leaves the whole band shows thing in a weird place. She last told me before our last meeting that she would definitely want to check my band out this summer. But my question is, am I still obligated to invite her? We have a gig coming up next week, and she sees all our band posts announcing upcoming gigs on IG, so I just wonder like, maybe she is still expecting me to invite her? Or maybe she isn't? I personally don't want to invite her, because I feel it would just be too awkward for me and make me think she were still interested in me. I want to politely "move on", but part of me feels like I still "should" invite her.

My bandmates were all excited for me to bring her to our next show, so I guess I still could, but I don't know... I feel like it would feel to much like she were my "date", like as if she were going to see her boyfriend play. But then I would feel guilty if I don't invite her and she ends up seeing the band show posts the next day... Or maybe she would just "understand" why I didn't invite her... I don't know! I still don't know what appropriate "show" etiquette I should practice here in this situation and I feel like people here could perhaps relate? What should I do? I still have heavy feelings for her and sure, yeah she really likes my band, but if she were at the show supporting me it would be really hard for me to not "feel" like she was my girlfriend, even if I know it would be platonic. I feel like me "not inviting her" and just saying nothing might make it seem like I am being petty and immature... Sorry for the ramble and this being slightly off-topic!

i am very conscious of where I sit in the mix, what I need to play rhythm-wise, EQ-wise and what effects fit well with the other band mates.

however, it feels that everyone else just shows up and plugs in and plays, which isn’t awful in itself, but we had a disastrous gig there where all our frequencies were off and they didn’t know how to adjust to the room. I think their approach is “the sound guy will figure it out“.

Like most people here, we don’t have the luxury of having a great sound guy, a great house sound system etc so I really want them to control what they can to make it as easy and flowing as possible.

Is it just our hardcore scene or is it everywhere??

Every week or two a rumor surfaces or a falsified-screen shot or an anonymous tip gets forwarded and bands take turns canceling each other

Once a year or two a real true tragic situation is brought up and its awful but honestly i have lost count in 5 years. 90% of it is just total bull shit but it means friendships get ruined and bookerw just roll their eyes at local bands

I (19F) play guitar and sing in a pop punk/emo band and we've established ourselves in our city/scene. For the most part, I'm having a blast playing a buncha shows, but there's one thing that's been bothering me a lot, and I don't know what to do. As the title says, I'm jealous of my band members and am pissed that I don't get as much praise/attention as them.

The band members in question are our bassist (20M), and his twin brother (20M), who is our lead guitarist, who also sing. Both people are pretty handsome, conventionally attractive men, and they have a lotta stage presence and charisma (which is something I've gotten better at doing), but I notice at most shows, the audience pays most of their attention to them and do next to nothing when it's my chance to sing/perform.

I started noticing this when we played at one of our friends' birthday party. Most of the audience members had their eyes on the twins and cheered a lot, but when it came time for me to sing shit, the reaction wasn't as strong.

Since that show, I've just been questioning everything I do and say compared to my band members. Am I outgoing enough? How can I be more outgoing onstage? Am I too weird? Am I not being expressive enough? Is the way I present myself good enough or do I need to tone myself down (this I will elaborate in a second)? Do I write catchy/palatable enough songs? Are my lyrics to vague? Am I too niche?

I've talked to some of my friends about it and a common thing has been established: People are afraid of eccentrism and me being transfem only DOUBLES THIS. I'm not as conventionally attractive as my band members, I'm neurodivergent, my music taste is ecclectic, the cover songs I like to play are by more underground bands like Joyce Manor, MOBO, and Title Fight (unfortunately, our fanbase listens to bigger pop punk/emo bands like Fall Out Boy and Blink), and I'm more outspoken about politics. As much as I believe this to be this the case, a part of me is in denial because this is the punk rock/alternative scene, a scene that is rooted in accepting outsiders and outcasts.

Obviously, the one thing I can do is to continue bettering my craft, but I want to do everything in my power to be as good as the band members and not have that nagging voice in my head and I kinda just want some advice from anyone (double if you're a punk) that may have been in my shoes.

hey guys, ive recently brought together a blues band with 6 other people and I’m really confused about the rehearsals and how they’re going to work with it being a larger band. We have a 2 people in the horn section, 4 in the rhythm section, and a harmonica player. If you have any tips please lmk 🙏

I joined a band for the first time in my life. It has always been a dream of mine and I love it so far. I have no prior experience aside from karaoke, and a few small performances in school years ago. I do sing a lot just as a hobby. I sang some more difficult ballads and some fun pop songs for my audition which they really loved and I believe that is why they took me despite my inexperience. I am having quite the learning curve trying to be as perfect as possible on the set list which seems massive. 80 songs that they pull maybe 25 from for each show. How do I even begin to learn them quickly? Any tips that have helped songs lyrics stick faster for you? I know maybe 20 of the songs the rest will be starting from scratch. Also is it tacky to have my lyrics on a tablet on stage? And lastly any tips for a new lead singer? TIA

I play guitar and sing in a small local band. Last year, we released an album (independent, self-funded, blah blah blah). Leading up to the album, we kicked around several ideas to come up with a shirt that goes along with the theme of the album. Everyone in the band had their input, and ultimately it became a bunch of compromises to get a shirt everyone agreed to. Unbeknownst to me, one of the guys was negotiating in bad faith and quit the band about 2 months after the shirts arrived. He forced his bad ideas into the creative process and refused to budge, so to avoid the stigma of being the singer that's always right, I capitulated to keep the peace. When he quit, he ultimately said that he was quitting because I always refused his ideas, which is blatantly false, hence the shirt full of compromises.

fast forward to a year later, we've sold maybe 5 of the 50 in that shirt order. no one wants them. I don't want them. and I can't sell them. I've tried various price points of $5 to $20. I've even marked them down below cost a couple of times just to move them. basically it's a bad design that i myself don't even want to wear. This is not my main job and is really just a hobby, so I'm not trying to make money on any of this...I really just have been wanting to make back the cost of the shirts so as to not be in the hole. I had to pay him out for his third when he quit the band and the other guy in the band also never paid anyway.

so how can i move these stupid fucking shirts or should i just donate them to goodwill and move on?

Hey guys, I’m in a 5-piece Shoegaze/Post Hardcore band where the vocalist (me) also plays guitar.

So there are 2 rhythms
A lead guitar
And a bass

This is very common practice in my genre bands like
Whirr
Trauma Ray
Bleed
Narrowhead
Balance & Composure
List goes on and on.

My question is, we booked our first 4 gigs (2 diy basement venues and 2 storefronts that put on shows)

Are there any tips from people who have been in or worked with 5 pieces in here that they'd like to share before our first gig in 2 weeks?

Handling space issues in a basement, dialing tone for 3 guitars, etc. just anything you’ve maybe experienced that can help a little or a mistake you've made that you wanna share so others won't make etc.

Preciate it!

I know there are probably thousands of posts like this, but I just gotta rant. I recently started a band. I'm living in a relatively small city (around 400,000 people) in Japan.

There are four of us, and I am pretty dead serious about writing our own songs. Nobody really contributes to anything, which I guess is fine because it gives me total freedom to write whatever I want. The annoying part is them being late to rehearsals. Being 30 minutes late is basically the default. Last time, the drummer didn't show up until there were only 30 minutes left of the booked studio time. And this time, the bassist couldn't make it to a 4-hour rehearsal for whatever reason. So again, I'm stuck dwelling on songwriting because I feel like I need all four of us to progress and figure out how the song should sound.

They say they're keen to play a live show this autumn or winter, but there is no fucking way we'll even have 4 songs ready by then at this rate. I know I can't expect everyone to be on the same level or share the same dedication to the band, but is it really too much to ask them to commit to the times we agreed to work together?

Im 21M and they invited my band to play in another state, but my parents are too strict and wont let me go, its a very important gig for the band since we are opening for one of our favorite artist and i dont know what to do, any advice or suggestions?
Im still living with my parents and cant afford to move out because they pay for my college :/