u/love2watchit

Show me MJ going left

I keep having these recurring thoughts about losing control and sexually abusing a child. Like one day I'II just snap and do something inappropriate. I get these awful and violent pictures in my head and it makes me feel sick and disgusted with myself. I worry that if I smile at a kid or say something nice, their parent will think I'm attracted to them or that I'm some kind of predator. I saw a true crime TikTok the other day about a guy who sexually abused an infant and I started wondering if I could be capable of doing something like that. I will sometimes seek out these videos to make sure that I do feel repulsed by the actions of the perpetrator. Sometimes if I'm just near a kid my brain goes straight to "does this mean I'm interested in them?" Why would I be standing near them if I wasn't? If I'm at the grocery store and a kid walks by, I'll think "did you look at them for too long? did you feel anything?" and then I'll start overthinking and checking my body for any kind of gross feelings. I get scared that maybe l've already hurt a child and I just don't remember it somehow. After I interact with a kid, l'Il replay it in my head over and over and over again trying to be sure I didn't do anything wrong or cross any boundaries, but I really can't ever be sure. Even hugging my niece can make me feel dirty and ashamed like I must've done something bad somehow. I don't want to have these thoughts. They're disgusting and I hate them.
Good people do not think these things.

Hes too cool to imo thoughts?