u/luckyelectric

My child and I share an ultra rare genetic X-linked variant on a highly conserved gene that has the potential to cause seizures. He’s substantially disabled in multiple neurological ways, including having very abnormal EEGs with interictal epiliptiform discharges in multiple lobes of his brain every few seconds, but he’s never had any clinically identified seizures. One of his neurologists said that my son’s high volume of frequent discharges is, in and of itself, considered a seizure disorder despite him having no full on seizures. He takes medication which have thankfully normalized his EEGs.

This has me wondering; I was diagnosed with Tourette over twenty years ago and I have muscle jerk “tics”… but what if they’re actually super mild seizures? And if they were, is it possible that there’s actually a version of mild seizures so inconsequential that a person could experience them unmedicated for decades and decades without it ever becoming a larger problem? And if so, is it possible that there’s actually a huge spectrum of people out there in the world having extremely mild seizures and they’ll never know? Like maybe everyone has some level of super mild seizures…

I'm a married elder millennial in a HCOL US state who has always lived in a minimalistic way.

We have two children with Autism; our oldest is almost twelve with low support needs AuDHD (will likely be fully independent as an adult), my youngest is almost seven with high support needs (multiply disabled and will likely always need full support).

I stopped working in 2023 to support my high needs child in their therapies and care. I tried rejoining the workforce, starting in a new field, but it was unsustainable to balance this with my child's needs, so now I'm unemployed and feeling unable to work. It may be important to know that I also have a neurodivergent diagnosis myself, and I am unable to drive (although I have a masters degree and have taught at the college level.)

My husband works full time at a high stress job and he would like to stop working in the next five to ten years when he will be around his fifties. He earns around $90K. We have $350,000+ equity in our home and expect to have it fully paid off in several years. Together combined we have apx $470,000 in retirement/stocks and $170,000 in high interest liquid savings. We currently spend around $5,500 per month, but can likely reduce this to a little over $4,000 a month after our mortgage is paid off, especially down the road if our older child is able to be independent.

In the place where we live, I will likely become eligible to get paid as my younger child's full-time caregiver. Depending on what happens legislatively and with my child's development, this eligibility could happen in the next five years or even sooner. But with how the laws are written now, it will happen when my child becomes an adult. The caregiving wage would be enough for us to live on; our only debt is the small remaining mortgage on our home.

My questions; do our finances sound stable for retirement, especially considering me no longer earning income, combined with my husband's desire to stop working in the next five to ten years? Am I okay to be not working right now, or do you think I should be pushing myself harder to earn income? With our financial circumstances being as they are, do you think this qualifies as a version of FIRE? Is anyone else out there dealing with disability or caregiving as part of their FIRE?