u/lunapollux

so i was prescribed a 3mg fosfomycin 3 days ago. symptoms improved about 60-70% since then but it has been more than 72 hours (fosfomycin max effect) and i still feel like peeing more frequently. during this whole uti thing i never really felt pain during urination, mostly just the sensation after peeing that i still need to pee again (and when i do its always a significant amount). is it possible that the bacteria is gone but i have residual irritation? or is it more likely that the bacteria just wasnt fully eliminated? this is the second time ive had UTI this year, the first one solved by the same medicine and dosage.

the feeling is manageable/bearable but super annoying. it makes me think about my bladder the whole day (unless im out walking and busy doing something).

I've now started taking Canephron (doc suggested to take it in case i still dont feel 100% after fosfomycin) and hoping this kinda helps resolve it fully.

so i don't how many attempts ive done, but this time instead of cold turkey i did 2 weeks of "weaning off" meaning i try to lessen the triggers by practicing not vaping at certain moments where i usually do, like going to the bathroom. i've also practiced leaving it at home and being out for long. longest was 10 hrs (that's like 85% of my waking hour) where i try to ride out the craving or pop in a 3mg zyn once. it's like im simulating the quit without the panic of finality of quit because i know i have it at home. so far i have been doing good with weaning off and i feel a big difference in terms of craving strength versus my usual vape anytime anywhere behavior. i have also been gaslighting myself that i will feel no hardship going through this, that i shouldnt be afraid because the fear is what makes my backfire most of the time.

and now my vape is about to run out in a day and my brain is doing what it does: bargain. i find myself considering buying another one and tell myself the next one is really the last one.
additional context, a week ago i had bad sugar blood tests and have been on a diet so that also adds to my low mood, like all my pleasures are stripped off in one go (i know the book says nicotine gives no real pleasure but yk what i mean).

i need words of encouragement or advice to prevent me from buying again. i currently have some 3mg zyns that i bought in case of emergency, i know some would recommend against this but it kinda helps my cravings come down without ruining my lungs and i hope the low mg wouldn't form a new addiction.

please don't bother to recommend desmoxan bc i live in a country with no access to that.

i try not to panic because i have yet to talk to my endocrinologist. when i learned that PCOS greatly affects insulin sensitivity i visited an endo last year and decided i will have do this regularly before it's too late. ever since my first visit last year i have been prescribed metformin 500mg as a preemptive measure due to pcos.

my a1c trend has been:
jan 2025: 5.9
jul 2025: 5.8
jan 2026: 5.6
jul 2026: 6.1

this is the highest i've seen my a1c go up. i'm gonna be honest, i eat vegetables and fish a lot and i don't binge on carbs that much but i do drink sweet beverages like lattes and milk tea maybe 5 times a week. the only difference from the first 3 tests to now is that lately i have not been working out. i didn't significantly eat more sweets as far as i remember.

since the result these past few days ive been eating little to no carbs, more fish and veggies. but my problem is i am not sure if i can sustain this without falling into depression from not only overly limiting myself but the fact that i monitor everything i eat. i need to find a good balance and still be able to enjoy life, mindfully.

i'm also wondering whether PCOS has a significant contribution to this or just purely my fault.

mental health: diagnosed with depression and general anxiety 5+ years ago

in general i am someone who looks at all possible factors (house stuff, work, relationships, health) i do a lot of investigating and inquiring before i even formulate an opinion on a matter.

so when it comes to health, automatically my thoughts are:

1. is it bad?
2. why would i feel it?
3. is it something healthy people feel?
4. is it something that progressively gets worse?
5. is it something that signifies something worse?
6. did my (insert unhealthy habit) make this happen?

and when i talk to my husband who in my opinion has a normal mental health (a bit of an underthinker at times), he doesnt even get to #3. if the feeling isnt intense or doesnt make him uncomfortable, he usually doesn't mind until it worsens, and he would maybe google the symptoms once and then decide whether to have it checked or follow the tips online.

i know people here have health anxiety too and this might be a question that's hard to answer but when does it become too much? i once talked to a psychiatrist about how i think and he said that there are some good parts about the way i think, it helps me prepare and eliminate problems early on but i should try to focus on parts i can directly control or influence, like going to the doctor and doing the treatment. but where to put limit in that? what if my brain thinks there is always something i can do?

whenever i feel or see something off with my body i think it's not the end of life i worry about but the next steps i might take
- will this mean i have to go to the doctor?
- will this mean tests i have to wait for?
- terminal illness?
- a vague result that entails more tests or visits?
- a disease i have to treat and monitor for a long time or forever, is this what the rest of my life will revolve around?

the very effort of having to take steps to figure out whatever i detected or felt already feels like a burden to me.

don't know how many attempts it has been, had one I would call successfull that lasted almost two years until i carelessly vaped during a very stressful time in my life and went back to it.

i've read the allen carr book twice, i know the right mindset coming into it. i've also been practicing long vape-free windows to get used to feeling the craving and letting it pass without the panic of not having a vape. this is also a way to gradually wean off the nicotine as cold turkey has not been effective for me.
i'm starting to even enjoy being outside not bringing my vape, experiencing normal life moments like waking up, going to the bathroom, playing a game where vape inserts itself and take the credit.

i truly hope this is my real last attempt, i hope i never puff after this until i die. i hope to live the rest of my life enjoying happy moments and enduring stressful ones without vaping.