Yall... am I crazy?
Not fishing for a diagnosis
Okay so boom!
I had heard about DID/OSDD years ago and brushed it off as just something interesting but that it could never be me. Due to a psychology class I had to choose something from the dsm-5 to write about and passed by OSDD again. While I choose Autism as the topic for my paper something just stuck with me about osdd. I began to notice signs from through the years and that it would kinda make sense. (Traumatic childhood disorganized attachment to my caregivers, much of my memory especially around my younger years is practically semi-blurry snapshots, sometimes referring to myself as we, dissasociation or 'in my own world' as a family member has said, derealization. Having very little clear mental idea of myself, sometimes looking in the mirror and knowing that the person in the mirror was me but also a semi disconnect or an oddness.)
Due to anxiety ive always had a *very* loud mental space so most times I drowd it out with music and stuff but recently ive decided to try and listen maybe even reach out to see if anyone was there untill I could get back with a mental professional.
Since ive started trying to talk and connect....... I think I may have gotten an answer. The voices sound similar to mine but different in some ways but its as if im only catching parts through a wall. My anxiety says I made the voices up myself.
A large part of me is scared I'm just making this up and being dramatic but lately as ive been learning to drive (abit late to the party I know) ive been having trouble with persistent dissassociating that ive been having to purposefully 'fight off' (another reason for my suspicions)
So....... Idk man....