SD being left with me while I WFH
I think this is mostly a sanity check. I’ve lived with my husband for 8 years, SD 11 is usually with us 1 night per week during the school year because it’s a bit of a drive to BM’s/her school and 3 nights per week in the summer, rotating days based on husband’s work schedule. This last month or so however he’s been picking her up 1-2 nights early so she’s with us up to 5 nights per week, but I am the only one home with her for those extra 1-2 days since I work from home. I was never asked if this arrangement was okay with me, I’ve just been told “SD will get here tonight instead of Friday” and then he just moves on. So not only am I expected to be home during those days (I often go to client sites for meetings/demos even though I mostly work from home), I can’t go to the gym after work which I do every day, I don’t have the amount or type of groceries appropriate for her, and also I just don’t want to be in charge of a child while I’m working. If she was independent and could make her own breakfast or lunch, I’d be less annoyed. If I was asked if this arrangement was okay, I’d be less annoyed. Even if I was warned earlier, I’d be less annoyed! I also usually have 2 days per summer that he has off that we can spend together just the two of us (we don’t have the same days off) and he used both of those days, last month’s and this month’s, to pick her up early. I just feel like I don’t have a choice in any of this, and I feel EVIL for being mad about it because I adore her, but I don’t understand why she gets picked up early so I lose both days of the year to spend with my husband OR just to be my responsibility for the days she’s here until my husband gets off for the week. He is home at night but only for 2-3 hours before they go to sleep. I have zero “parenting” powers so she scrolls on her phone literally all day until then, even though I make suggestions like grab a book, ask the neighbor kids to go play, grab your drawing notebook etc. Am I being unfair here? I’m going nuts trying to phrase it in a “I’m not evil” way.