Partner with ADHD struggles to set boundaries with friends/family - how to deal with this?
My 29f partner 31m ADHD (dx) (medicated) (and PTSD) is generally a very caring person, but I keep running into situations where other people's plans, wishes, or expectations seem to take priority over practical needs, including my health.
I have a chronic illness that sometimes requires planning, flexibility, access to restrooms, and being able to slow down or change plans when symptoms flare up. What I struggle with is that my partner often seems unable to set boundaries with his friends/family or push back against unnecessary plans, even when those plans create extra stress or make my symptoms worse. It often feels like he goes along with what the group wants instead of considering whether it makes sense for us.
I'm trying to understand whether this is something other people with ADHD partners experience as well. Is difficulty setting boundaries, prioritizing, or saying no to friends a common ADHD-related issue, or is this more of an individual personality trait?
For those who have dealt with similar situations, how do you handle it? Have you found ways to communicate health-related needs that actually lead to changes in planning and decision-making?
It has gotten frustrating for me to keep up with plans that I am not really able to follow through without wrecking my health. I really appreciate hearing other people's experiences.