My boyfriend's (M 28) previous engagement haunts me (F 25)
My boyfriend (M 28) and I (F 25) have been together for 4 years, we've also shared a home for about 3 years. There has been no fundamental issues in our relationship, except for one thing in my mind. My boyfriend was engaged for a couple years before he eventually separated from his fiancée in 2022. He initiated the break-up, and apparently there were several issues from the start, most of which caused their love to die down. At first I didn't really think about this at all, but about 2 years ago this ex-relationship of his stirred up some strange sadness and anxiety within me. I accidentally happened to see a photo of the ex and my bf on his computer - they were kissing and he had written a text saying "my wife-to-be, forever with you is the best thing I could've imagined". I don't blame my bf for having that picture in his laptop, neither do I ever check out any old documents saved on my personal account. I think all my sadness comes down to him having already had that "forever kind of love" for him, even tho I understand that nobody can change their past. I feel can't help but feel somehow inferior, like I'm not special if we would ever get engaged or even married. It wouldn't be his first time and I fear it wouldn't be so sentimental for us. All this has escalated to me getting intense anxiety even if I just see posts of someone else getting engaged. I'm not sure what to do, and if this is more about some deep insecurity, or my differing personal values regarding love. Does somebody have perspective/opinions to offer?
TL;DR: My boyfriend having been engaged in the past makes me feel oddly & intensely sad.