36 y/o just discovered bpd 2 years ago. Not doing well
Have felt like this most my life but always thought bpd meant bipolar disorder until recently. So when therapists and drs said bpd I was looking up the wrong disorder my whole life. Went undiagnosed. I feel like it’s too late now.
I’m terrible at intimate relationships . Went 14 years single after the only relationship I’ve been in went south. (5years).. I knew then that I didn’t do well with relationships..
the girl who told me about borderline personality disorder is my most recent girlfriend. She saw the signs that anybody familiar with bpd would see. She has been my person for 2 years now and she is throwing in the towel. I can’t say I blame her because it’s a lot. Just hurts knowing she is giving up on me and I feel like she is irreplaceable.. I moved across the country to be with her because the long distance was hard. Now I’m in a state with nobody who knows me here. I’m feeling very overwhelmed and compulsive right now.
Do you guys find another person that makes u feel just as strongly later on down the road? Personally I don’t think I can even try again. Starting over feels exhausting on top of all the other stuff I’m dealing with. I don’t want to let her go but I know I have to. It’s not my decision. I guess I’m just looking for hope. I feel like it never gets better.