Need Help Making an ESFJ Understand
I just need some perspective on this because I feel as if there is something that I am not seeing or understanding.
I'm an INTP (F) in an LDR relationship with an ESFJ (M). Our relationship is very fun, exciting, and overall good even in LDR; however, there is a recurrent problem that we can't seem to cross and that is communication. We've probably had the communications argument/discussion every quarterly and this point, but while I try my level best to maintain it, his communication and contact comes and goes. He will have days where he wants nothing but to talk to me and then there will be days to weeks where he will want his space, which also means that endearments and even relationship bids will fall off. He also becomes very business-like and straightforward.
It makes me feel as if the onus of maintaining the relationship falls on me because if I don't text or call, our communication almost becomes nil during these periods. Whenever I bring this up, he cites job and study stress, but I feel as if texting one or two sentences in a day isn't much? It becomes a sore point in our relationship where when we discuss it, he doesn't seem to understand what is upsetting me no matter how clearly (in my perspective) I explain it and rather that it's because I have set some "new standard."
Can anyone help me navigate this or even understand his perspective because I feel as if we're going in circles at this point.